Too Drunk to Fuck

[junglebunny]

Hey guys! It's your good ol' friend junglebunny! I'm here to tell you a real life story about my personal social life. OK! Let's begin!

Alright, so the other night I was at my friends house who just so happened to be having a party. I was getting hammered drunk because that's what I am to believe one does at parties. Here's a little backround information about myself, when I'm drinking I don't fuck around.. I get drunk. Please don't take it the wrong way, I'm not trying to sound cool (omg i go 2 partys get fucked up 420!!) but I'm no fucking rookie. Back to the story, I had been talking to this girl through out the night (obviously also drunk), and we were getting along I was making a couple jokes and whatnot and it was going pretty good. After a couple more hours my friends started leaving one by one. I don't drive so I was watching my rides home leave in groups.

Finally I decided I was going to go home, considering I had work the next day. No. My friends refused to give me a ride home. They had been watching this me talk to this girl that obviously wanted my balls. I said "are you serious?" and they replied with the ever so clever "you got to fuck that girl". Fuck it, I wasn't going to argue with such perfect logic. So it was decided that we would get the couch. As I walked past my friends room she called me in, "here you go, I think you are going to need these" and she hands me 2 condoms. I love my friends. So we head downstairs and go on the couch and start talking bullshit. Then BAM we're making out. It's pretty cool I'm grabbing her titties and stuff and thats always fun and then I stuck my hand down her pants because, well, that's what you do. after doing that for a little bit she takes of my pants (it's quite a struggle since she's drunk too, so I give her a little help). Then I get back to what I'm doing.

I start to notice something isn't going right, she keeps touching my dick and nothing really happening. It's just sort of half-cocked I figure its no big deal and keep going. Then I decide, fuck this, I'm gonna go for it. I whisper into her ear, "hey I have a condome" she replies "no, I'm good". Feeling defeated, I go back to kissing and the whole 'I have my finger inside you' thing. Then she stops and says something that made my entire night, "why the hell did you ask me if I wanted a piece of gum?". I stop everything and practically laugh in her face. "Gum?! Hahahaha I said I have a condom!" She looks at my laughs and says "oh hahaha ok that's completely different" and takes off her pants. Awesome. I slip the condom on and crawl over her. I try to put it in but there's a slight problem, my shit's still half-cocked. I try a little bit and eventually give up. I apologize, explain how 'this has never happened to me before' (which it hasn't), and tell her how embarrassing it is. After about 5 minutes of that she tells me it's ok. Lies down on me, put's my arm around her, and we watch [adult swim]. The entire time I can't get over what a complete fucking failure I am and how I don't even deserve to be sleeping next to some hot girl. What the fuck is wrong with me?

So there it is kids, probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life. And I decided to tell an internet forum full of nerdy virgins. Fantastic!

But hey, at least I didn't cum on some fat chick

Now we open up the discussion part, has anything like this ever happened to you?

[Shmuh]

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHA HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA HAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA AHHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


but really, that sucks ass.

[HappinessMan]

Well, at least you didn't cum on a fat chick.

[The Fetus]

Holy shit good story. I've stuck it in when I was half-cocked and I have to say, you're very fortunate that you didn't go with it. I was listening to DK (The Dead Kennedys) and I clicked the other tab from their Myspace page and saw the last post in the GF was called "Too Drunk too Fuck."

Can you fucking say, weird!

[Werty]

.. That's hilarious. Nuff said, really.

[TheHighwaySong]

Really, there is nothing else to say about this.

Great story to tell friends, minus the limp ending. =/

[innerearth]

HaHaHaHaHa. It’s funny as hell that you put that on here. Every one has a point where alcohol will keep you from getting "fully cocked". Now you know not to drink that much when you are hitting on a girl at a party.

Wooooow man that was funny.

[Raxo]

That was nice.

[Spastic]

It's ok jb, it happens to almost no one.

[DamnDude]

I've managed to fuck with a half limp cock, I was drunk so I didnt care, you should be able to insert it though.. But dont expect to get anything from it :P

[Valium]

Its ok jb it happens to everyone

[Smooth B]

Goodjob, JB. She probably went and told all of her friends :fmita:. Im not one to talk though.

[HappinessMan]

Lick her vagina next time to stall while your penis attempts to rise.

[Captainbob]

Your friends should've given you viagra instead of condoms.

[Derelict]

That means you're gay, by the way.

[GCBC]

Lick her vagina next time to stall while your penis attempts to rise.

Yes.

Also, I am not quite sure I believe this story. No one from the internet ever gets laid. :science:

[DEATH TO AMERICA]

Those condoms were probably defective. Impotence saves the day :salute:
At least you got to finger her.

[TheHighwaySong]

She couldn't have exchanged the handy either?

What a cheap harlot!

[HappinessMan]

Highway, if you can't get it up whats the point?

[Far]

She couldn't have exchanged the handy either?

What a cheap harlot!

Yeah tugging on a limp cock isn't going to do much other then hurt.

[fabz]

Haha. The old whiskey dick syndrome. It has plagued many a man, many a time. That sucks man.

[Sednars]

Hehehe, you got a freaking point...

[Lag]

Good ol' Whisky dick, never fails.
Damnit, fabz beat me to it.

[xJesusx]

Hehe, well now that got a laugh out of me.
Did anyone else automatically think Dead Kennedys while reading the title?

[HappinessMan]

stfu about your bands

[OoooF4LiFe]

I died a little when I read this. Partially, just because I feel bad for you.


Mostly cause you couldn't get it up though. :roffle:

[Matterialize]

Dude, your dick was totally helping you out. Think about it: You were so drunk that you thought she was hot, but your dick, man, it knew better. So when you tried to ram it in some fugly, it was all "lmfao yeah, good one junglebunny :roffle:"

Yeah.

[BKS]

Sounds like you got yourself a little problem in the woods.

But Mr. Bunny, what did we learn?








E.D. Sucks.

[Casalen]

To answer the question: no, nothing like that has ever happened to me. Ha!

It's interesting, though; if you ask most people, they'll say that alcohol makes sex better. In reality it usually just makes them less aware of how inadequate everything is going.

[Spoons]

Ha ha nice story.

[John Travolta]

It's really funny that most of you don't realize that he is making fun of all of you who think it's awesome to make threads about your personal life that nobody cares about.

[Raxo]

I think we all got the joke when we saw it was junglebunny posting.

[Niki]

Ha. Sucks to be you.

[CnGy]

I am never too drunk.

That's impossible. A fallacy. Unjustifiable.

[mitch+]

That sucks man but whatever eh. I was kind of hoping the story turned out that the next day you saw that she was actually a fat ugly chick though but I guess you werent THAT drunk...

[CnGy]

never too fuck to drunk

[opn4bzns]

The entire time I can't get over what a complete fucking failure I am and how I don't even deserve to be sleeping next to some hot girl. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Meh, at least you were in the situation. I'd wager that a lot of this forum (me included) has never had the opportunity to fail like that.

[F1shF1ngerz]

You got the drunk mans flop! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, all this time i thought you were a girl...

[Rebecca.]

Anyway, all this time i thought you were a girl...

I, honestly, did too. I re-read the "this girl wanted my balls" sentence & then realized that this junglebunny character is, indeed, a male. I'm not sure if I should feel stupid because I didn't realize this or if jb is gay.

[Cristo]

It's the alcohol. They explain it very well in Macbeth:

Porter
24 'Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock;
25 and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF
26 What three things does drink especially pro-
27 voke?

Porter
28 Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
29 Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes
30 the desire, but it takes away the performance. There-
31 fore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator
32 with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him
33 on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and dis-
34 heartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in
35 conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him
36 the lie, leaves him.

I feel sorry for you, that must be the single most humiliating thing ever to happen to a guy.

[Tempest]

Should have puked on her. Trust me, it sobers you up right quick.

[MistyTehMoose]

That sucks, man.

If I was the chick, I would secretly hate you.

[Boomtown]

It's the alcohol. They explain it very well in Macbeth:

Porter
24 'Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock;
25 and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF
26 What three things does drink especially pro-
27 voke?

Porter
28 Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
29 Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes
30 the desire, but it takes away the performance. There-
31 fore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator
32 with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him
33 on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and dis-
34 heartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in
35 conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him
36 the lie, leaves him.

I feel sorry for you, that must be the single most humiliating thing ever to happen to a guy.

We were reading this yesterday in Mac Beth, The sad thing was our teacher thought we didn't understand what the line meant so he just made a hand gesture.

[Oofie]

If I was the chick, I would secretly hate you.

Or better, make it public.

[beermonster256]

Sucks man, happens to the best of us. Beer rules over sex, or so beer seems to think. Personally I'd take the sex anytime. I take it you didn't get her number or anything then?

[sodomyth]

This happened to my boyfriend (at the time) once.
I'll never let him live it down, because lucky us girls!
The more alcohol you give us, the more horny we get.

[Tyler_Legrand]

I'd have been pissed and said "damn dog I'm too drunk for this" and whacked it against various objects yelling "get harder dammit"

Rather than mumble "oh my this has never happened before honest" like some Nancy.

Hypothetically, that is. I'm too lazy to get drunk.

[Slade8]

NSFW tag, perhaps?

[sodomyth]

NSFW tag, perhaps?
I don't think that's necessary.
If after reading the title you open the thread anyways, and you're at work, it's your own fault really.

+ there's not images or anything so if it's a small mistake you can close it and it probably won't get any notice from across the office.

[John Travolta]

What the hell, why the hell is everybody so hell bent on putting a NSFW tag on everything that has the word "fuck" in the thread?

I am never too drunk.

That's impossible. A fallacy. Unjustifiable.

More like flacidy.

[jcap]

Ha, I'm reading this at work right now. My computer is just facing me and the wall behind me though... And it's my second to last day so I don't give a fuck.

Anyways, that's some funny stuff man.

[fabz]

It's the alcohol. They explain it very well in Macbeth:

Porter
24 'Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock;
25 and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF
26 What three things does drink especially pro-
27 voke?

Porter
28 Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
29 Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes
30 the desire, but it takes away the performance. There-
31 fore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator
32 with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him
33 on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and dis-
34 heartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in
35 conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him
36 the lie, leaves him.

I feel sorry for you, that must be the single most humiliating thing ever to happen to a guy.

That doesn't explain shit. It just makes you look smarter to people on an internet forum because you quoted a dead guy's play.


Did you get a chance to make it up to the lady in the morning?

[ArKaiN]

A tip: If a guy says "I've never EVER gone limp!" he either hasn't had a lot of chances to fuck, or is lying.
If you're too nervous there's a good chance you'll go limp.
If you're drunk, also a good chance.
If you're stressed, there's a REALLY big chance you wont be lifting pole.
You people are telling me you never went to bed with someone being nervous, stressed or drunk? Grow up and get laid.

[TireVengeance]

Ahahahahaha

[Chardon07]

Lol, are you sure she was hot, she was probably butt ugly and your senses knew but you were too drunk!

[JonC]

It's the alcohol. They explain it very well in Macbeth:

Porter
24 'Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock;
25 and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF
26 What three things does drink especially pro-
27 voke?

Porter
28 Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
29 Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes
30 the desire, but it takes away the performance. There-
31 fore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator
32 with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him
33 on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and dis-
34 heartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in
35 conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him
36 the lie, leaves him.

I feel sorry for you, that must be the single most humiliating thing ever to happen to a guy.

Even worse than being married, then getting divorced because your wife left you for a woman of a different race?(if the guy was racist- that is=\ )

I never had that happen to me. Well, I've never been actually drunk before though. Though one time, I was about to get some girl to blow me, but like, her fucking grandma just so happened to pull up out front. Oh well though.

That does suck by the way junglebunny. at least you got to play stinkfinger.

[Tokzic]

Hah, that sucks dude. Awesome story.

[b1wsatan]

I had the same problem except that i did fuck, I just couldnt nut. I was in a club(of all places) and I was fucked up on grey goose and percosets. It was made of complete failure.

[acy_linn]

Hahahaha... I wanted to fuck this guy it was going well, we were making out and shit. The thing was that I was drunk and he was drunk, and he ends up running to the bathroom to puke. It was a turn off. :(


At least he didn't puke in my mouth.


Oh dude, that sucks. Poor girl, us girls get really really REALLY horny and that must have been a BIG turn off.

[spaj]

Nicely told. Have you spoken to her since?

[xkittenxsocksx]

You might have testicular cancer btw.

[Syzrael]

Haha I can't say that I've experienced that before. Lesson Learned: If you want to have sex, lay off the alcohol - it does bad things to your reproduction system.

[ne3]

Your friends probably pranked you, might turn out that you fingered your mother.

[Tuxxyy]

This happened to my boyfriend (at the time) once.
I'll never let him live it down, because lucky us girls!
The more alcohol you give us, the more horny we get.

I had a girl over at my apartment, and we were both getting smahed on various forms of alcohol. Then we went back to my room for the main event; she was naked, I was naked, and she passed out while sucking my dick.

So I did the honorable thing and put all her clothes back on and just let her sleep in my bed with me. We woke up in the morning and after finding out what happened she slapped me for not fucking her while she was passed out.

So, like . . . yeah. Alcohol can really screw shit up.

[xkittenxsocksx]

So I did the honorable thing and put all her clothes back on and just let her sleep in my bed with me. We woke up in the morning and after finding out what happened she slapped me for not fucking her while she was passed out.


Umm why? :|

[Mirrorman]

Damit dude, poor you, I bet that was PRETTY awkward and embarrassing for you. And what did you learn? Don't drink too much, when theres a chance to get laid.

[Tuxxyy]

Umm why? :|

Cuz she was a slut and would have given me herpes. In retrospect, her being drunk saved my ass.

[Gryphon]

Can't say it has. The only embarrassing thing was when I had my first time, was done in 20 minutes, and the girl was only half done, and i only had one condom.

Of course, at the time I didnt find it embarrassing because I was no longer a virgin haha.

Actually, there was a time when this girl gave me a blowjob and i was only half cocked for it. But that's only happened once, so yeah. Sucks to hear that man, but I'm sure you'll bounce back lol.

[Mirrorman]

Tuxxyy, she slapped you, because you didn't take advantage of here when she was passed out? Wow, she either wants to get you in shit or is a BIG whore.

[Scoped]

Haha! Brewers droop. Classic

[Tuxxyy]

Tuxxyy, she slapped you, because you didn't take advantage of here when she was passed out? Wow, she either wants to get you in shit or is a BIG whore.

Yes, both of those things are true. She does like these weird vagina tightening exercises though, so she convinces guys that she's a virgin, or at least inexperienced. When, in fact, she is a whore.

I didn't think the whore part added to the story, though. It was more the her passing out with my dick in her mouth. You know ... trying for the funny.

[eVIL BOB]

It's the alcohol. They explain it very well in Macbeth:

Porter
24 'Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock;
25 and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF
26 What three things does drink especially pro-
27 voke?

Porter
28 Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
29 Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes
30 the desire, but it takes away the performance. There-
31 fore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator
32 with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him
33 on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and dis-
34 heartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in
35 conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him
36 the lie, leaves him.

I feel sorry for you, that must be the single most humiliating thing ever to happen to a guy.

Mate Shut The Fuck Up



Ive had a simmilar problem one time, my girdfriend and i staying at this guys house, we both got drunk and at 6am we retire to his little brothers batman bed. Im horny as shit cause shes been teasign me all night so i pull her jeans off and flip her over ( doggy style ). I then try and put my dick in, no condom cause shes on the pill and we've been going out for a while, i didnt do her in the as or anything LOLZ. Na i entered but at the wrong angle due to booze and i thrusted and i heard a click noise.

Couldnt get a boner for 3 weeks after that.


Ps. Now im good to go.

[Tuxxyy]

i entered but at the wrong angle due to booze and i thrusted and i heard a click noise.

Couldnt get a boner for 3 weeks after that.

At least you broke your dick with style. Way better than falling out of your chair with a boner while masturbating to old Sailor Moon episodes *ahem.*

[Mirrorman]

Yea, sorry dude that actually was funny, just the whore part just popped upfront.
Also Bob, damit, did it hurt?

[imatworksoshhh]

um... did Cristo quote Shakespeare?!?!

I knew I should't have come out of the spame.

[Scoped]

Na i entered but at the wrong angle due to booze and i thrusted and i heard a click noise.

Couldnt get a boner for 3 weeks after that.


Ps. Now im good to go.

Fuck, I almost bit off a knuckle cringing to that.
Ouch to say the least.

[fabz]

um... did Cristo quote Shakespeare?!?!

I knew I should't have come out of the spame.

He did, and it sorta applies to this thread, but it still doesn't explain why junglebunny can't bang a fatty when he's housed.

[Oberlin]

For starters, I've always thought JB was a chick :eyebrow:

But back on topic, I've never been so drunk I couldn't get it up, but I have been so drunk that I only lasted about 5 minutes. And also once the chick I was with was so drunk that she didn't cum after about 40-45 minutes (she usually doesn't take more than 10-15).

[DamnDude]

This happened to my boyfriend (at the time) once.
I'll never let him live it down, because lucky us girls!
The more alcohol you give us, the more horny we get.

I think you once said your boyfriend was a premature ejaculator or something (no offense), and I gave you tips on how to fix that like a year ago or something, you know, the PC muscles and shit, hows that going on?

[Shagg]

This is just Gods way of saying "She's got AIDs".

[Lush]

This is the best thread ever.
From Christo in all his manliness quoting Shakespeare, to guys talking about flaccid peni, and throw in a dose of fat chicks getting drunk and horny. Entertainment at its best.

Don't start doing a lot of coke or this'll be a permanent situation. I had an ex who was ALWAYS half cocked. It fucking sucked.

[Joho The Hobo]

I LOVE Adult Swim! This might seem a bit off topic but it's in the story somewhere.

[Shagg]

I LOVE Adult Swim! This might seem a bit off topic but it's in the story somewhere.

What a way to make a first-impression. :ahe:

Sticking to the topic would be a nice thing to do.

[Elmo is Emo]

Damn.. I feel kinda for you.. The same thing happened to me the other day. But i'm not a guy. So like yea...I was dissapointed =[

[sodomyth]

I think you once said your boyfriend was a premature ejaculator or something (no offense), and I gave you tips on how to fix that like a year ago or something, you know, the PC muscles and shit, hows that going on?


Haha, it may have helped if I knew who you are / if this had actually happened.
I would like to say none of the guys I've slept with have had that problem so.....

That red sox game last night huh!


But for serious, I'm not sure i know what you're talking about.

[Shagg]

Haha, it may have helped if I knew who you are / if this had actually happened.
I would like to say none of the guys I've slept with have had that problem so.....

That red sox game last night huh!


But for serious, I'm not sure i know what you're talking about.

Don't 'chu rememba baby? :heya:

[Glurf]

Don't 'chu rememba baby? :heya:

Whats this between you and sodomyth!?
Were through.

[sodomyth]

Whats this between you and sodomyth!?
Were through.

I've been encouraging him to tell you, but he just wouldn't have it!

[Gryphon]

Oh, well, here`s something embarrassing:

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.

Yeah, how`s THAT for embarrassing! haha

[DamnDude]

Haha, it may have helped if I knew who you are / if this had actually happened.
I would like to say none of the guys I've slept with have had that problem so.....

That red sox game last night huh!


But for serious, I'm not sure i know what you're talking about.

Meh, its probably just my memory screwing with me.

[I am homosexual]

I've never gotten too drunk to have sex.

Although drunken sex is fun.:facts:

[sodomyth]

Oh, well, here`s something embarrassing:

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.

Yeah, how`s THAT for embarrassing! haha

She was probably n00b enough she didn't even notice.
hahaha

I would have bit you for sure.

[Glurf]

Oh, well, here`s something embarrassing:

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.

Yeah, how`s THAT for embarrassing! haha

Hahahahaha. Oh man thats rough.

[I am homosexual]

Oh, well, here`s something embarrassing:

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.

Yeah, how`s THAT for embarrassing! haha

One time a guy peed in my mouth while I was giving him a blowjob. I was not a happy camper.

[Glurf]

You're not into that kind of thing? Freak.

[I am homosexual]

You're not into that kind of thing? Freak.

I am most definitely not. I do like to unload in a guy's hair, though. Or face. But enough of that.

[Glurf]

So uh... I've got a lot of hair... :heya:

[I am homosexual]

So uh... I've got a lot of hair... :heya:

I have a boyfriend, but I'm flattered. :facts2:

[Glurf]

Ahhhh... oh well. I was starting to creep myself out anyways.

[Gryphon]

I didn`t full blown piss, I just shot a little pee out and all of a sudden stopped, cause I knew I did.

[Crabstick]

Sadly I've got worse. Me and the girl of the time spent a combined 20 minutes getting myself ready for performance, and when at last things seemed like they were righting themselves, my "performance" was over in less than 5 minutes.

I've never heard the words "no really, it's ok" said with such anger.

[Trashcat]

This thread's quite ripe with hilarity. I wonder if Junglebunny will ever be able to stomach hanging in the spame again; this is gonna get used on him like a stun gun.

[junglebunny]

I had sex with her the other night (drunk) if anyone still cares.

[I am homosexual]

I had sex with her the other night (drunk) if anyone still cares.

:king: Good man. Fuck her brains out. Wear a rubber. :)

[junglebunny]

No, fuck you

[Apple Juice]

Stick it in her mouth. By "It" I mean your penis.

[I am homosexual]

No, fuck you

...It was that bad?

[Tuxxyy]

I had sex with her the other night (drunk) if anyone still cares.

If i had to give you eventually sleeping with her a rating, I would give it a 3.3/5 -- so, good on ya.

[Cristo]

Stick it in her mouth. By "It" I mean your penis.

And here I was thinking you meant "gun" by "it". D'oh.

[barnesy111]

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.
I laughed so hard I peed into a girl's mouth when I read this. Please, please elaborate.

[fudgiedog]

I think this is a prime example of why being a chick is awesome.
You don't have to get it up.

[azunder]

It must of taken great balls to post here dude, thanks for sharing though.

Reminds me of last night, I was in a nightclub trying to piss and I couldn't go. I must have been stood there for about ten minutes, felt like such a Burk. It's not half as bad as erectile compromise but there we go.

[BAN ME PLEASE]

At least you had the chance to get laid.

[phd_55]

Highway, if you can't get it up whats the point?

HA!

I know it's from the first page. But I couldn't let this one go through to the keeper...

[bizzle]

When I'm at parties with my boyfriend I act like a maternal bitch making sure he doesnt get to drunk and stoned because even if he does have the ability to touch me on the inside, (which is unlikely if hes wasted) it a) lasts about 7 minutes and b) weirds me out because I hate drunk fucking. I never get too drunk and I feel like I'm raping my boyfriend when hes not in a soberish mindset.

[Oberlin]

Oh, well, here`s something embarrassing:

My first blowjob I ever got, i peed in the girls mouth a bit.

Yeah, how`s THAT for embarrassing! haha

Something kinda like that happened to me once.

[Spastic]

It is impossible to piss while having sex, i would imagine it's the same for blow jobs, so i don't believe either of you.

[Oberlin]

Mine was after I was having a little trouble getting off (she threatened to bite if i got any in her mouth, so you can understand). She had just kept at it for so long that I started to go limp, and eventually jerked the piss outta me.

[junglebunny]

It must of taken great balls to post here dude, thanks for sharing though.

Reminds me of last night, I was in a nightclub trying to piss and I couldn't go. I must have been stood there for about ten minutes, felt like such a Burk. It's not half as bad as erectile compromise but there we go.

Yeah its pretty much the same thing :indiff:

EDIT this thread is full of lies (i.e. Gryphon/Oberlin)

[Oberlin]

Did you read my last post, or are you trying to say that you think I've never had a blowjob?

[junglebunny]

I'm trying to say no girl has ever touched your dick.

[Oberlin]

I figured.

[Oberlin]

I do have pictures of a girl touching my dick here though NSFW (http://tinyurl.com/2ooxv9)

[PrincessErt]

I didnt think these things happened to anyone other than my drunken Irish ex. This had happened to him, oh, 20... 25 times over the course of our relationship. We affectionately referred to it as Whiskey Dick, as previously named. Didn't mean he just went to sleep tho. I, at least, got my rocks off.

That's love, baby.

[opn4bzns]

It is impossible to piss while having sex, i would imagine it's the same for blow jobs, so i don't believe either of you.

Lies. How do you think scat lovers do their thing?

[DamnDude]

It is impossible to piss while having sex, i would imagine it's the same for blow jobs, so i don't believe either of you.

Its easy to piss while having sex, what you might mean is its impossible to piss while having an orgasm, this can be proved with common logic:

You can piss with a boner. Hence, you can piss with a boner surrounded by either a pussy or a mouth if youre not reaching or having an orgasm.

Or for further proof "reading", you can just watch german porn.

[Gryphon]

I laughed so hard I peed into a girl's mouth when I read this. Please, please elaborate.

What's there to elaborate on? I was both nervous and anxious as it was m first time, and while I cummed I gave a little extra push and that caused pee to come out.

I've had many blowjobs afterwards to make up for it.

[MistyTehMoose]

I'm surprised she would go back to you after you did a thing like that.

Fail JB, getting a gal's hopes up like that.

On behalf of drunk women everywhere, fuck you. Fuck you hard in the arse and then your mouth.

<3

[Happydude]

In a way its better than if you had gotten it up and came the second she touched it... That'd be something she'd tell all her friends about.

USER WAS PUT IN TIMEOUT FOR THIS POST. (http://forums.explosm.net/eventlog.php)
Reason: BUMP

[tunacake]

Ho-ly bump

[Dacada]

So this one time I was having sex right

[Kwanza]

and then you broke up with me :wail: