Impossible Questions

[Quadros]

These are questions where there are only wrong answers, the ones that make you really study your moral standing. They're also hilarious to throw at your friends, as the guy code clearly states that they MUST be answered.

Here's one to start us off, remember, you MUST answer (unless you're an inferior woman). After you've answered feel free to post your own, and lets only have one question going at a time, eh?

You have inopperable throat cancer and doctors find a cure, but the only possible cure for your cancer is to suck off your own father and swallow the cum. Do you do it?

[Far]

Let's see if you idiots can handle this.

[Pig Fucker]

I would, and then as man law dictates, never talk about it again.

If you had to have some sort of sexual intercourse with your mother would it be orally, anally, vaginally or mutual masturbation?

[Zettler]

(sorry for the repeat bad timing I guess)


No I dont. I murder my father and the doctor and then rape the nurse.
kidding, but i wouldnt do it.

You find out you're mother is held hostage by a sick massochist and is going to die unless you masturbate to horse porn for 7 hours straight...do you do it?

[Pyro]

No, I wouldn't, I'd die with honor.

Mutual masturbation.

I physically couldn't.

Don't just answer one of the questions, be a man, answer them all.

So, would you brutally murder someone you truly love in order to save a dozen random people with random ages, inheritances and status?

[Zettler]

No I wouldnt,
Id brutally murder a dozen random people however

Would you glue your hand to your penis with super glue and never be able to remove it, in order to stop yourself from getting AIDS?

[Desert]

No, life is short and I'd like to use my penis.

If you could rape anybody you wanted and get away with it, but you had to live with yourself knowing you scarred somebody for life, would you?

[WillJ.]

Yes, knowing that is worth being able to say you had sex with some people.

You have a choice, you die a slow horrible painful death which would be strung out for as long as possible or you take a very active part in a gay male orgy with 10 other men, which must last for at least 2 hours, and then you are let go. You choose.

[Zettler]

part in the orgy and never mention it

If the only girl willing to have sex with you was so crusty you needed to put a bag on her head would you do her with the bag or without? (not doing her is not an option)

[Dauntasa]

With the bag.

Would you rather tell all your friends that you were gay and wanted to have sex with them, or actually have gay sex without having to tell anyone?

[Zettler]

Id rather tell my friends I was gay because afterwards I could pull an ewww, fag you fell for that.

Would you kill yourself painfully, in place of your entire school dying painlessly?

[Mr. Crow]

Crikey, I'm home schooled. That would suck. My answer is no.

Would you rather have to eat a rock and get hit with a bucket of shit, or eat a bucket of shit and get hit with a rock?

[Lag]

Zettler - No I wouldn't because I'm a selfish sonuva bitch.
MC - Depends on how big a rock. I assume large and jagged so eat the rock. Shit's easier to clean up.

Pull a string of 10 razorblades out of your throat, or a rusty 5 inch pipe cleaner from your happy-place? (change "pipe cleaner" to "pipe" for womens)

[Zettler]

Rusty pipe cleaner cause I'd live.

Rape a dog or be raped by 5 men?

[BKS]

Pipecleaner. If it's the fuzzy kind, it may tickle.
Rape a dog. If it's female, it might like it.


If forced, would you give up oral sex or cheese? (Life long lack of.)

[Zettler]

cheese cause I dont cum when i eat it.

lose your ability to taste, or to smell?

[Dauntasa]

I'd keep taste because I don't think I could go on living without it.

Which would you rather have sex with, A really fat chick, or a girl who looks like she was beaten to death with the ugly stick, allowed to rot for a couple of days, and then re-animated and hit with an ugly pickup truck?

[Zettler]

the fat chick.
cause I wouldnt have to worry about where the real vagina is :P

Would you rather have Rectal tattoed in large black letters on your forehead or have your rectal cavity super-glued shut?

[JustAnotherNoob]

Rectal tattoed on my forehead.
Because I wouldn't be able to shit, and i'd probably shit out of my mouth.

Would you rather swallow donkey cum, or your own?

[Zettler]

My own.
I would hate to be the guy that started a new STD that wiped out the rest of africa like the monkey guy.

Would you rather have sex with christopher columbus (the man who started syphalis) or the moneky fucker (Creator of AIDS)?

[Werty]

Christopher, 'cause Syphilis is curable(I think)

Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or be lower class but totally content with your life?

[Richard_Simmons]

Rich and unhappy. I'd buy shit to make me happy, like a speed boat.

Would you kill your family or cut off your own testicles?

[Zettler]

testacles. you can get injections of testosterone that allow yout o get it up and turned on for sex. and the only thing id really be unable to do is make children which i dont wanna do.


never be able to have sex or never be able to walk?

[Dresden]

Never be able to walk. Although walking is swell, sex is better.

If you had to choose between the life of the one person who mattered to you most, or the lives of every other person in your country, which would you choose?

[Johnny]

Never be able to walk. Although walking is swell, sex is better.

If you had to choose between the life of the one person who mattered to you most, or the lives of every other person in your country, which would you choose?

The life of the person who mattered to me the most. It'd be pretty shit knowing that you killed over 21 million people.

Would you do the hottest chick in the world who just so happens to be full of incurable STDs that would result in immidiate death or your infant sister? (Have to pick one.)

[Bone Scraper]

Infant sister, I don't have a sister, or if it was a question like "if I had a sister", still sister, cos I wanna live, Dammit!

would you rather have sex with a big, fat, flabby, 2 ton elephant, or have your balls chopped off and the wound filled with salt?

[Assassin]

Why wouldn't I have sex with an elephant?

You're standing on a floor with a gay orgy of big fat sweaty men with Herpes, who want to have sex with you. Would you get off?

[kissthisrump]

Twice.

A man hasn't showered in 2 weeks, you have the choice of cleaning out the greasy fat rolls of his skin with your tongue or the build up under his foreskin...again, with your tongue. Which do you choose?

[Quadros]

Rolls of fat, on the odds that I found a doughnut under there somewhere.

Would you rather have sex with your hypothetical really hot sister, who's been dead for an hour, in private or with a seven year old boy with downs syndrome infront of everyone you know?

[Pig Fucker]

I think my dead sister, because both are bad, but at least that one's in private.


Would you rather have one 10-inch cock in your ass (until it came) or fifteen 10-inch cocks unloading all of their cum on your face, one after the other.

[Con-Con]

Up the ass.

(male question) Get kicked in the balls or get punched across face really hard?

[Johnny]

Punched in the face really hard. Surely it can't be as painful as the thought of having deformed children.

Would you rather do your mum's dad or your dad's mum?

[Dauntasa]

I'd pick option 2 because at least my dad's mum is a woman.

Would you rather never have sex again, or be forced to have sex with an incredibly hot girl on odd numbered days and an old, fat, ugly man on even numbered days, for the rest of your life?

[Fugga]

I'd take the second option(just think... on leap years you get to do her one more time)

Would you rather get caught jerkin off by people at the boys and girls club/ public (this happened to someone i know XD) or by your own parents who then asked if they could help you out? :eyespop: :eek:

[badumpbumpbump]

Parents.

If someone said you would win a million dollars if you picked the left hand or the right hand, which one would you pick?

[Zettler]

That question doesnt really retain to this game but however......Id smack them really fucking hard and open both hands and take off with the money.


Would you rather have the one you love leave you at the alter, or find out she has STDS after you have sex the first time?

[WillJ.]

STDs, being left at the alter is the ultimate embarresment.

Lose your cock or your arms and legs (and have no replacement/wheelchair etc for the rest of your life)

[Dresden]

my cock. it'd really suck, but at least i could still function. Ya know, not just roll everywhere.

Can you prove God exists? (Keep in mind that God exists through faith. Proving his existence could be dangerous to it)

[Raxo]

I'd rather lose my arms and say I'm a war veteran.

Would you rather get shot 10 times with guys sticking their cock in the wounds or get skinned while 13 guys rape you cutting you with blades all over your body?

[Richard_Simmons]

Shot. At least I'd be dead.

Have sex with Rob Schneider or cut off your arms and legs and eat your testicles?

[Zettler]

umm i dont think id live for either so id take getting shot Id probrobly die faster and less painfully.

Have your penis snapped off with pliers or bite off while getting head?

[Dauntasa]

Depends on how good the head would be before the biting.

If you could choose being ass-raped by a girl with a cucumber or being ass-raped by a man with a small penis, which would you choose?

[Dresden]

Um, I think I'd choose the girl with a cucumber. Because, ya know, at least it's a girl.

If you could either be blind but with the absolute knowledge that you married the most beautiful woman in the world, or keep your eyesight and marry a quite plain-looking woman, which would you choose?

[Zettler]

keep my eyesight cause Looks arent everything. Al though if she was a dumb bith id just stay single with the ability to see
I lied looks are everything. :P

If you were givin the choice to be burend alive or drowned which would it be?

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[Jiggz]

Being buried alive is one of my greatest phobias. When it happens in movies I tend to hold my breath without realising. So i'd take drowning. Probably quicker.

Your boss catches you watching porn online. He gives you one of two choices, get fired, or, masturbate to the porn while he watches. The only stipulation is you MUST come on your own face. What do you do?

[Johnny]

Being buried alive is one of my greatest phobias. When it happens in movies I tend to hold my breath without realising. So i'd take drowning. Probably quicker.

Your boss catches you watching porn online. He gives you one of two choices, get fired, or, masturbate to the porn while he watches. The only stipulation is you MUST come on your own face. What do you do?

Depends on my boss' gender. Get fired if male, option 2 if female. option 2 I guess. EDIT: Just saw the "he" bit. Get fired.

Be forced to spend the rest of your life with no limbs or no dick?

[JustAnotherNoob]

No dick. Atleast I could still walk..

Have sex with a really hot chick, who would get pregnant with quintuplets and give them to you, or have sex with a really fat chick and get Aids

[Con-Con]

Hot chick.

Sleep with a relitive die a vergin?

[kissthisrump]

Sleep with a relative. I enjoy sex way to much to go my whole life without having it.

You have a choice to either slit your wrists or kill a really cute baby...which do you choose?

[Spiffy13]

Slit my wrists.

Would you rather have sex with 1000 fat chicks or with 200 REALLY fat chicks?

[Dauntasa]

Kill the Baby.

Edit: 200 really fat chicks. At least it would be quicker.


If every time you masturbated, God killed a kitten, a puppy, and a baby, Would you continue?

[Dresden]

probably. i dont own any kittens, puppies, or babies, so I wouldn't have to see the results. We're overpopulated as it is. Too bad for the kitties though, so cute...

Would you rather have sex with your attractive cousin or some random ugly/fat person?

[Werty]

Cousin. I'd wear a condom and never speak of it.

Would you rather know the exactly the time, date, and how you would die, or live on without knowing?

[Con-Con]

I'd rather not know.

Have gay sex or watch 10 hours of old re-runs of StarGate

[Dauntasa]

Stargate.

Drink a bucket of semen or eat a bucket of shit?

[Benjaman]

How big of a bucket? Big: Option 2, Small: Option 1

Would you rather tell your entire family you killed someone(you didn't actually, and they wouldn't tell on you), or kill someone and not tell anyone(you wouldn't get caught)?

[fabz]

This is an interesting thread.

Would you rather tell your entire family you killed someone(you didn't actually, and they wouldn't tell on you), or kill someone and not tell anyone(you wouldn't get caught)?

I'd rather kill someone and get away with it and what have you heard??

Let's take a page out of a movie or is it a negative?

A guy has a gun to your head and he tells you to strap on this pointy apparatus and fuck your wife.

Do you do it? Or take the bullet?

It was in Seven...

[Dauntasa]

What's a point apparatus? Well, I guess it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it doesn't hurt me. And with that said, I would definitely do it.

Would you rather stick your penis into an 800 degree(Celsius) oven and leave there until it burnt up, or get kicked in the balls so hard that they are completely crushed (flat and leaking)?

[Richard_Simmons]

Hmm...I'd go with the kick in the balls. At least I could still have sex.

Put you hand in a blender or have your penis cut off with a chain saw?

[Johnny]

Hmm...I'd go with the kick in the balls. At least I could still have sex.

Put you hand in a blender or have your penis cut off with a chain saw?

Hand in blender. You didn't say the blender had to be on. But I'd go with blender anyway if it was on.

Have sex with 1000 random (random gender, random hotness, random age) people non-stop with no breaks and no condoms or no sex for the rest of your life?

[Dresden]

1000 random people. among that thousand is bound to be enough hot girls to make it an overall enjoyable experience. And then I'd sleep for a week afterwards. And get tests for every STD known to man.

Lethal injection or electrocution?

[Shadowpriest]

Injection sounds way less painfull.

Have sex with your mom to save your dad, or sex with your dad to save your mom?

[Jiggz]

Threesome, and save 'em both! :fmita:

You've never had a threesome. It is one of your undying dreams in life. One night while out, you get offered a threesome by two, fat, ugly bitches. Do you accept, for the simple reason that it's a threesome, or do you deny, and, like almost every man on earth, hope it'll one day be two hot drunk bitches making the offer?

[Johnny]

Threesome, and save 'em both! :fmita:

You've never had a threesome. It is one of your undying dreams in life. One night while out, you get offered a threesome by two, fat, ugly bitches. Do you accept, for the simple reason that it's a threesome, or do you deny, and, like almost every man on earth, hope it'll one day be two hot drunk bitches making the offer?

Accept. A threesome's a threesome :lol:

You're forced to have unprotected sex with a hot chick that has AIDS or you can choose to do an old fugly chick who has no diseases. Which?

[badumpbumpbump]

Injection sounds way less painfull.

Have sex with your mom to save your dad, or sex with your dad to save your mom?

Oh my god, that's brilliant! (Sorry if that sounds weird, but it was a great question.)

It depends on how old I would be at the time. I would get aids if I was older than forty, if I was in the 30-39 area, it would be a tough decision. If I was any younger, I would probably go with the ugly chick just because I can get a hot chick later.

Would you have sex with a hot chick for all of your money, or have sex with an ugly chick for all of her money?

[fcon]

I've feck all money so hot chick of course.

Your best mates (incredible hot) wife is out with you one night, you've wanted her from the beginning but he beat you to her. You get the chance to have sex with her and she won't tell him. Do you do it or not?

[LaPhBu]

Yeah, who wouldn't?

Permanent erection, or never having an erection... ever

[Zephyrus]

Permanent erection.



You work at nuclear reactor. The reactor is about to explode, wiping out a major city. There is only one way to stop the explosion, but it will kill whoever does it. The man assigned has a wife pregnant with twins and three other kids. You are single and have no kids or any immediate family. Would you sacrifice yourself to keep a family whole, or just let him die to keep your own pathetic life going?

[Quadros]

Fuck him. I'd fuck his widow to make my life seem better.

You have a choice between fucking Kiera Knightly (or who ever you think is the hottest woman on the planet), at her funeral, which is being televised live to the globe and attended by hundreds of people, or fucking your girlfriend's grandma (who is still alive) on her family's dining table, at sunday lunch attended by you, your girlfriend and her entire extended family. Which do you pick?

[SladeMadeFilms]

I'd have to go with the hot dead actress. I wouldn't be the first to fuck some old bag in front of a crowd, but sex with the dead on tv, well that's groundbreaking.

If God (whichever one you like), told you that you would be immortal until you had sex or masturbated, would you live out eternity celibate, or would you give in a go out with a bang? (Pardon the pun.)

[Johnny]

Permanent erection.


It'd pretty damn hard to pee.

If God (whichever one you like), told you that you would be immortal until you had sex or masturbated, would you live out eternity celibate, or would you give in a go out with a bang? (Pardon the pun.)

I'd give in. Living forever would suck. My grandpa is always bitching about how he's still alive.

You have to have sex with either a little girl or the world's oldest living woman. Who do you choose?

[green rubber bands]

The little girl. There's a good chance I'd end up killing the old woman :heya:.


Let's say you get kidnapped, and you kidnapper wants to either give you multiple paper-cuts on your dick and balls or cut off both you ass-cheeks with a rusty knife, which would you prefer.

[Devilpillar]

Paper cuts.I'm allergic to cure for tetanus.
Having all your hair off your head ripped off or never having eyes brows,Eye lashes or facial hair

[fcon]

Heair ripped off?? As in waxed off? Well I used to shave it off so it wouldn't be so bad. Wouldn't fancy no eye brows, lashes or facial hair. I'd look like that European soccer ref from a few years ago!

A hot needy clingy girlfriend or a fat ugly perfect otherwise girlfriend?

[hyuga]

I'd probably have sex with Rob Schneider.

Would you rather give up food (and live off an IV) or give up sex?

[fcon]

U can live off IV(as far as I know) but you can't live without sex!!

Just for you hyuga, sex with Rob Schneider or sex with 10 hot models??

[Dresden]

What the fuck is up with the two answers referring to Rob Schneider right after posts whose question has NOTHING to do with Rob Schneider?!?!?! God, read the last fucking post before answering, you fucking idiots. Rant over.
------------------------------------------
Sex with 10 hot models. Duh.

Lose your sense of touch or your sense of reality?

[hyuga]

The models if female. If male, I'd still have to go with Schneider. Two penises isn't a total sausage fest.

[hyuga]

Ok, here's one:

Go back to high school for four more years, or have four years of AIDS?

[fcon]

Oh shit man. I HATED secondary school (Irish equivalent), i mean hated with a passion, I was bullie dhorribly but learned to fight pretty quickly with them and could hold my own agfainst any of them. But i would n't want to go bak to it. 4 years of AIDS, would suck but its livable with if you know its gonna end.

Another 1 for you, no alcohol/drugs for life, or no sex for a year?

[SladeMadeFilms]

Ok, here's one:

Go back to high school for four more years, or have four years of AIDS?

First, you're a fucking moron.

As for the retarded question, four years of high school please.

If you could go back in time and save your father from being murdered when you were 8 years old, but if you did, then you would not have the children that you have now, because of the change in the time continuum kept you from meeting your wife, do you save him? Do you trade your father that you never had the chance to really know for your wife and children?

[hyuga]

That one doesn't really apply to me. Sorry but I'm still in high school. So considering I've never drank alcohol or did drugs, I suppose........the no drugs option. Give me another one.

[hyuga]

First, you're a fucking moron.

As for the retarded question, four years of high school please.

If you could go back in time and save your father from being murdered when you were 8 years old, but if you did, then you would not have the children that you have now, because of the change in the time continuum kept you from meeting your wife, do you save him? Do you trade your father that you never had the chance to really know for your wife and children?

What was that retarded thing about?

[fcon]

Ok no computers for life or no sex?? try that 1??

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[hyuga]

um.........I'd have to go with no sex. Computers ARE my life. That one was tough.

Ok, here we go:

Chop off your penis, or turn gay?

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[Dresden]

Sorry, but from all evidence, both hyuga and fcon are complete and utter morons. You can't seem to answer the post right above yours, or even comprehend simple comments. Also, it's annoying when it's a little content just between you two. Let other people answer. That said, I'm not even going to bother answering your question. It's basically the same thing as your last four.

[Tempest]

um.........I'd have to go with no sex. Computers ARE my life. That one was tough.

Ok, here we go:

Chop off your penis, or turn gay?

Turn gay. Also, you're a fucking moron and I think you should stop posting on the forums forever.

Your dog that you've owned for 12 years, your best friend, has a rare form of colon cancer. The only cure is anal sex with a human male (Or female, if you are one). Do you let your best friend of 12 years fuck your ass to survive?

[Pyro]

The anal sex would maybe give the dog mostly only a few extra years if that. I'd let him go with all of our honor intact.


Would you rather have sex with a man who has been perfectly turned into a very attractive and hot woman with all the sex organs female, the only problem being that, in fact he is/was still a man or a mildly attractive woman turned into a man, but without the sex organs being changed?

[Awsumerthanyou]

I choose the man to woman tranny.

Would you rather put your penis in an automatic milking machine that doesn't stop until it gets 30 gallons, or pull out your testicles inside out through your urethra.

[Richard_Simmons]

Gotta go with the milking machine. At least I get to keep all my junk.

Harpoon to the chest or sex with Michael Moore? (Look him up if you dont know who he is.)

[Coconuts]

Sex with Michael Moore. Atleast I live after that.

Would you castrate yourself only using a dull knife to save the entire human race including yourself?

[HappyPalooza]

Castration, of course. I'll jerk it into a cup and keep it in a sperm bank until I wanted a kid. Plus, Castration only applies to the testicles as far as I know, so I can still get it on.

This one's groudbreaking, ready?
If you drop a bar of soap on the floor, would you use it when washing off the dirt you got on your hands while picking it up?

[Awsumerthanyou]

No, I'd go get the soap from a different bathroom in my house. That was a dumb question.

Would you rather re-enact 2girls1cup or Goatse?

[CharlieH]

Goatse. Though it would take a while, it would be a great party trick. Also, it would save a lot of time if any any airport police "checked" you.

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

P.S. I find it scary how most of the questions in this are "hurr, sex with your sister or put your penis in a bear trap" sort of questions.

[Werty]

I would say love and lost, because at least you got to experience love for some period of time. :hmm:

Be rich and miserable for your life, or live in poverty and be happy for the rest of your life?

[Dresden]

live happily in poverty. Money doesnt buy happiness. Hollywood has shown us that time and again.

What is more important, intelligence or wisdom?

[gordanthefree]

live happily in poverty. Money doesnt buy happiness. Hollywood has shown us that time and again.

What is more important, intelligence or wisdom?

neither sex is XD <----- typical answer

real answer= intelligence coz ur gonna get wisdom later anyway

will u ever donate to wikipedia?

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[Quadros]

Wow thaks you two you completely missed the point of the game. Nice work.

Ignoring your idiocy:

Which would you rather have sex with; your sister or a husky? (Imagine you have a sister if you don't.)

[Werty]

Depends on how hot the two are. 'cause that would totally make the difference. Either way, I 'spose a husky 'cause a sister would be just weird.

Would you rather know when you're going to die(exact time, date, moment, where etc.), or live on not knowing?

[Richard_Simmons]

I want to know. Maybe I can avoid it.

Brain tumor or testicular cancer?

[Desert]

Testicular cancer, because I'd live. Right?

Imagine there was a gun to your head and to get the gun away you had to kill (by whatever way) a toddler with cancer that would end up dying later in life anyways, but his parents are watching and cannot do anything to help anyone. (Super run-ons here.) Would you kill the kid so you could live? This kinda sounds like Saw.

[Dresden]

Testicular cancer. No balls would suck, but at least I wouldn't die.

Gouge out and eat your own left eye, or chop off your own left hand?

[Richard_Simmons]

Eye, at least I get an wicked cool eyepatch.

Eat your own poop or someone else's?

[Triple J]

Someone else's poop. I read somewhere it's safer.

Be a female for one hour and get to spend it in your room fondling yourself or save all the child soldiers in Africa.

[Dresden]

oh, definitely fondle my temporarily-girly parts in my room for an hour.

Assassinate George Bush or assassinate Paris Hilton?

[Hysteria__]

Assassinate George Bush or assassinate Paris Hilton?

Assassinate George Bush, because Paris still has a few more tapes left in her.

Stick your dick in a wasp's nest for an hour, or get fucked in the ass by a gorilla for two hours?

[Jiggz]

Well, considering a gorillas penis is only 4cm whem erect, I'll take the gorilla ass punding.

You're presented with a scenario where you can either save someone else, and die a hero, or save yourself, and spend the rest of your life as a notorious, internationally known coward. Which do you choose?

[Pieman]

Well, considering a gorillas penis is only 4cm whem erect, I'll take the gorilla ass punding.

You're presented with a scenario where you can either save someone else, and die a hero, or save yourself, and spend the rest of your life as a notorious, internationally known coward. Which do you choose?


Die a hero, because an internationally known coward would probably get killed by some pissed off guy.

So, Impossible questions huh... Do stairs go up or down?

Or if you can't answer that, would you rather piss lava, or shit a giant boulder (Assuming those are possible of course)

[badumpbumpbump]

Actually, those are both friggin awesome. If the lava didn't burn my dick, then I would piss lava. If it did, I would probably have to choose shitting giant boulders.

Would you rather listen to music you dislike, or not listen to music at all?

[Irve]

music I dislike.

If you made an invention, anything, that will sure change the world, but you also know that, decades after your death, mankind will use your technology to kill ALL people on earth. Otherwise, still alive, you would become incredibly rich, have the nicest girls, sex forever and happiness as long as you live. Would you publish your invention?

[Fugga]

Yes because when I'm dead i could haunt all the people who are using my invention for bad. I don't know if that'll work but I could try

Would you rather recieve $1,000,000 all at once and spend it all in one day or recieve $50,000(until it has totaled $1,000,000) a month to spend it when ever you want?

[HappyPalooza]

$50,000 a month, of course. In time, wouldn't that add up to over a million?

Would you rather have a scorpion shoved up your asshole or a beehive (Yes, filled with live bees) shoved up your dickhole?

[Awsumerthanyou]

Scorpion in the ass because I could crush it with my buns of steel! And a beehive is like the size of your head, isn't it? No thanks.

Sex with a plastic waterbottle (not of the Gatorade variety) or eat a charmingly sweet, smart, and cute six-year-old girl alive (also, she doesn't die until she's been fully digested.)?

[Richard_Simmons]

Gotta go with the bottle here. I mean, the other choice is just stupid.

Have your dick bitten by a snake or your arms and legs chewed off by a lion?

[HappyPalooza]

Dick bitten by snake, as long as I manage to get medical attention quickly, I may be able to keep it.

Alright, this one has to do with actually taking feelings into account.

If you had to, would you do your bestest most best friend's ex-girlfriend whom he loved for years, or some new chick he's been dating for three or four months?

And don't answer with, "I'd threesome those bitches 'cos AHM A MAON!" Seriously, think about it.

[sr_becko]

well to be honest .. id prolly go with the ex..not to be a dick or nothing but the guys obviously into this new girl

live the same day over and over again or live with short term memory loss.. (like dory off finding nemo .. LMAO thats right finding nemo)

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Reason: Please, don't use AOLisms, treat proper nouns as such, and use punctuation.

[Awsumerthanyou]

Same day over and over, assuming it is a good day.

Would you rather have sex with one very hot girl one time, or sixty barely-hot girls 60 times?(not each)

[gordanthefree]

Same day over and over, assuming it is a good day.

Would you rather have sex with one very hot girl one time, or sixty barely-hot girls 60 times?(not each)

Will I be allowed to have sex ever again? If so, then I'll take the hot girl, if not then I'll take the 60 girls

Would you rather not have sex ever again? Or be brutally tortured to death?

[Dresden]

um, obviously not have sex ever again. At least I'd be alive and un-brutally-tortured. Duh.

Castrated or lobotomized?

[Jiggz]

Lobotomized, at least I wouldn't really know the difference.

Your best friends NEW girlfriend is hot, very hot, she's been underhandedly flirting with you. Then, the opportunity arises, she catches you alone and tell you she wants to fuck you. Do you reject her, and go tell your friend what she's been up to? Or do you fuck the bitch and hope her and your best friend don't last long enough for him to find out?

[gordanthefree]

Lobotomized, at least I wouldn't really know the difference.

Your best friends NEW girlfriend is hot, very hot, she's been underhandedly flirting with you. Then, the opportunity arises, she catches you alone and tell you she wants to fuck you. Do you reject her, and go tell your friend what she's been up to? Or do you fuck the bitch and hope her and your best friend don't last long enough for him to find out?

I video tape her trying to seduce me, then I reject her. If impossible, no sex.

The choice is to save all Canadians from dying and then get killed by electrocution, or to jump off a 9 story building and land on your penis, AND LIVE!

[Richard_Simmons]

Um...land on my junk. At least it can be fixed.

Pit full of snakes or alligators?

[Awsumerthanyou]

Snakes, I could probably kill them or something.

Chug a bucketful of diarrhea or a bucketful of hot sauce? (And you can't wash it down)

[Clint]

Snakes, since most of them are not lethal and I could find a flaw in the pit that could prove useful in my escape. If I can't I would curse myself for not choosing the alligator one.

[Relaps]

Chug a bucketful of diarrhea or a bucketful of hot sauce? (And you can't wash it down)

Hot sauce. After a while the nerves would burn away and I wouldn't feel it.




If you were trapped in a room and the only way out was either using a key, would you use the key that was swallowed and inside someone you don't know, or at the bottom of a smallish tank of deadly scorpions? The man is tied down, but is not blind folded and can still talk to you. You have no tools or weapons to get the key out from the man besides your bare hands, and if you wait too long, the scorpions will crawl out of the tank.

[gordanthefree]

Snakes, I could probably kill them or something.

Chug a bucketful of diarrhea or a bucketful of hot sauce? (And you can't wash it down)

Hot sauce, since I can't wash down the taste of diarrhea anyway.

Have sex with 4 sweaty fat (Micheal Moore fat) men after you have had sex with a woman for the rest of your life? Or not have sex ever again?

[gordanthefree]

Hot sauce. After a while the nerves would burn away and I wouldn't feel it.




If you were trapped in a room and the only way out was either using a key, would you use the key that was swallowed and inside someone you don't know, or at the bottom of a smallish tank of deadly scorpions? You have no tools or weapons to get the key out from the man, besides your bare hands, and if you wait too long, the scorpions will crawl out of the tank.

scorpion tank since they would be out by the time I got the key from the man anyway

[Shadowpriest]

Never have sex, no woman is worth fucking 4 dudes (fat or not) for the rest of your life.

Shove 3 handfulls of sleeping pills down your throat (nothing to wash them down) or get shot directly down your throat?

[Richard_Simmons]

Sleeping pills. Chance I can survive.

Run over by a tank or swallow a missle?

[gordanthefree]

Sleeping pills. Chance I can survive.

Run over by a tank or swallow a missle?

Physically impossible to swallow a missle, so swallow a missle, but if it is possible, then run over by a tank, because I can lay down under it, between the track things (it's wheels)

EDIT: Fuck a goddess and turn gay (and not actually be gay) for the rest of your life (if you don't you'll die a slow painful death), or get plastic surgery to look like Britney Spears after her hair being shaved off.

[Mantaur]

What kind of question is that? Obviously the britney thing.
Can you imagine all the money you'd make in photos of you walking to the shops?

What about the choice between sliding down a 40 metre razor blade using your testicles as brakes or trying to pee out a large brick?

[Jiggz]

I'd try peeing a brick. Sliding down a razor blade will damage more than just my weiner.

Who would you rather fuck, Monica Lewensky or Hilary Clinton?

[kissthisrump]

Monica, I don't like blondes.

Crap your pants visibly in front of 10 people or prematurely ejaculate in front of the person you most desire in life?

[Smelz]

Crap, the I can lie and my intestine ruptured or something badass to cover it up.

Burnt alive and die or live but be all melted? (I mean seriously fucked, no nose, no tongue, can barley breath etc.)

[Richard_Simmons]

Die, I would kill myself if I was fucked up like that.

Bathing in lava or tied up in a shark tank?

[Irve]

tied up in a shark tank. sounds like its shorter that being burnt...

sex with very hotest nurse you will ever be able to imagine and have cancer or live without having any sex until you die?

[Fugga]

Nurse. hopefully more than once if i am getting cancer.

Getting run over by a passenger airplane or being a "player" of jigsaw's "games"?

[CrappleJuice]

Nurse. hopefully more than once if i am getting cancer.

Getting run over by a passenger airplane or being a "player" of jigsaw's "games"?


I'd take on Jigsaw. my motivation for winning would be when I find him, giving him all sorts of body numbing pills then break every limb in his body wait for him to come off the medicine then set him on fire.

A wallet with a regenerating 20 dollar bill? or a secret room that only you can find with nothing but hot naked chicks in it? and they all wanna do you.

[Awsumerthanyou]

Ah, never thought of writing two really good things. I'd take the secret room, because for all I know the regenerating $20 might be regenerating in the sense that it can't be destroyed.

Fuck one extremely hot chick, or 10 modestly hot chicks?

[Shadowpriest]

10 modestly hot chicks, they'll make up for it.


Fuck a really hot dominatrix (REALLY rough) or a fat chick?

[HappyPalooza]

As long as there's no permanent damage, the dominatrix.

If you had to, do three guys at the same time or one guy three times?

[gordanthefree]

As long as there's no permanent damage, the dominatrix.

If you had to, do three guys at the same time or one guy three times?

3 guys at the same time, that way It would be over quickly

Rather have the ultimate life (rich, fame, girls, (drugs if you want)) and be unhappy, or have the ultimate enlightenment (never get sad) but have a shit life and a fat wife?

[Jiggz]

How can life be shit in the face of absolute enlightenment? True enlightenment is realising that material wealth is purposeless, and that a fat chick might be the most patient, loyal and amazing person to be married to. So I'd go with the second one.


Be all knowing or blisfully ignorant? If you had the choice to know exactly what life is all about, to be told exactly what happens after death - even though this information might be entirely morbid, that our existence is a chance occurance, and that death is trully just the end? Or to live in ignorance, unsure of all these things but comforted by a hope that it might not be as nihilistic as it seems?

[Mantaur]

Blissful ignorance all the way. I mean if you don't know what could happen to you if you go base jumping or know that you might catch a fungus that eats your flesh when you eat a sandwich, then you'd have a lot more fun. Though being all knowing would be handy in dodging girls with STD's.


Ok what about having and extra leg or an extra foot? Is it run faster, or walk on your arms tripod like?

[chessie]

Extra leg, although that could get in the way in the most crucial moments.

Win millions (tax free) or have sex with the girl/guy of your dreams?

[kissthisrump]

Millions-Having sex one time would be nothing compared to how much I could buy with millions of dollars. And who knows? Maybe I could just pay a guy to get plastic surgery and turn out looking like the guy of my dreams. The possibilities are endless.

You have the choice to find the cure for cancer or AIDS. You have to only choose one, which do you choose?

[Richard_Simmons]

Cancer, more people have it.

Electrocution or being ripped apart by wolverines?

[Dauntasa]

Electrocution. Its supposed to be relatively painless.


Eat a bucket of mayonaise that has been sitting in the sun since 1873, or get hit in the testicles 5 times by a 300-pound boxing champion wearing steel gauntlets?

[hollywood_haloguy]

rob shneider...


eat every single day cow poop or elerctecuting yourself every day...

[Shadowpriest]

Electrocution. Little shock > tasting shit every day of your life.

Do goatse 10 times or watch it for 10 years straight?

[paigeislame]

Electrocution. Little shock > tasting shit every day of your life.

Do goatse 10 times or watch it for 10 years straight?


watch it for 10 years straight. the shock would wear off eventually. i actually think it already has..

listen to nails scratch down a board for hours at a time every day or be surrounded by what you hate most every day.

[Jiggz]

I'm sorry, my answer is DUUUHHH. Nails on board, becuse it's not the thing I hate most.

Who would you rather be, Quadros; insecure, small penis, small man syndrome, angry at your parents for not giving you enough attention. Or CharlieH, probably the dumbest person alive, butt of most Spame jokes, did I mention stupid?

[Johnny]

.......Quadros. Being CharlieH would just suck.

Have a 100 mph baseball hitting your genitals or forcing a dildo up your ass for 10 minutes?

[Pieman]

.......Quadros. Being CharlieH would just suck.

Have a 100 mph baseball hitting your genitals or forcing a dildo up your ass for 10 minutes?

You never said how big the dildo was, so I'll go for that. I'd probably pick that too anyway but this seems less gay.

Imma try 2 good things now. One million dollars, or the ability to shoot lasers from your penis.

[Irve]

the million dollars. laser from my penis might cause awkward accidents...

ultimate question: be succesfull at whatever, have every girl you want, but be very unhappy or have a quiet life and become a little happy with one woman for the rest of your life?

[Dresden]

Become a little happy with one woman. Duh.

Be able to teleport only when you're really angry, or be able to shoot spikes out of your hands only when you're really sad? (yes, I know this question is incredibly weird)

[Richard_Simmons]

Teleport, at least I can mess with people.

Have sex with a ridiculously hot chick with AIDS or a ridiculously fat (like 1000 pounds) chick who is healthy?

[KatieO]

Teleport, at least I can mess with people.

Have sex with a ridiculously hot chick with AIDS or a ridiculously fat (like 1000 pounds) chick who is healthy?

Fat chick. Gross is temporary, AIDS is forever.

Edit!: Eat nothing but unflavored ramen for the rest of your life or listen to 3 hours of religious propaganda every day for the rest of your life?

[CrappleJuice]

Fat chick. Gross is temporary, AIDS is forever.

Edit!: Eat nothing but unflavored ramen for the rest of your life or listen to 3 hours of religious propaganda every day for the rest of your life?

Easy Religious propaganda then I would know for sure what was an was not the propaganda and then I could tell the masses! as for Eating nothing but ramen? You would die of malnutrition!

Giving CPR to president Bush or getting Fucked in the Ass by the person you despise most in the world. Which could be president Bush.

[Johnny]

CPR.

Would you rather ejaculate spontaneously or never ejaculate ever?

[sr_becko]

Well if I was a guy, I would probably just take the spontaneous ejaculation because I might be able to hide it.

Watch the same channel on television for the rest of your life or watch no television at all?

[Richard_Simmons]

What channel? If it is ESPN, I'm down with that.

Balls crushed by a wrestler or be legs chopped of by a chainsaw?

[Seraphim]

Can i answer this if i'm not a guy? it sounds kinda fun...almost like a guy's version of truth or dare...

@ richard I'd take em both so people would know not to fuck with me.


Would you rather have sex with your (hypothetical) senile grandparent, and have to explain to them what was going on while you were doing it, or would you rather just wait till they were dead?

[JW]

Wait 'til they're dead. 'Cause I'm cool like that. :fmita:

Listen to EXTREMELY loud music until you went deaf, or have to sit in a tub on wheels which is full of shit, smelling it, without anything to cover your nose with for the rest of your life?

[Fugga]

go deaf. that way people will be nicer to me for being disabled.

Get spent into space without a spacesuit or stick your entire body into a wood chipper?

[gordanthefree]

go deaf. that way people will be nicer to me for being disabled.

Get spent into space without a spacesuit or stick your entire body into a wood chipper?

No space suit, it would be quicker that way

Be in the guiness world book of records for the smallest penis in the world, or for having the least amount of sex in the world?

[DaEdge304]

i s'pose since im a chick and do not have a penis i'd go with the least amount of sex.

Who would you rather do it with, Rob or Dave?

[gordanthefree]

i s'pose since im a chick and do not have a penis i'd go with the least amount of sex.

Who would you rather do it with, Rob or Dave?

since I'm a guy, I'd rather do it with you >.<

but otherwise rob (don't know who either are O_o)

Jump off a 3 story building or get surgery to become the other sex group (you have to pay for the surgery yourself and all your parents will hate you for the rest of your life)

[Mantaur]

since I'm a guy, I'd rather do it with you >.<

but otherwise rob (don't know who either are O_o)



How the hell do you visit this site and not know who they are?
Anyways the choice of jumping off the building anyday.

Ok what about the choice between having a pencil that could draw anything in real life, or an eraser/rubber that could rub anything out in the world?

[Pieman]

Pencil, because I could draw the eraser. And take over the world.

Live in your favourite movie, or your favourite game.

[kissthisrump]

Easy, definitely my favorite movie - Garden State - I love the rain and it's a versatile movie, in terms of situations and places, so I think it would be pretty interesting.

Have someone slowly slice off your head (the one attached to your neck) or hang yourself?

[DaEdge304]

hang myself for sure. ever heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation?

get caught by your parents doin' the dirty? or catch your parents in the act?

[Spastic]

Definitely get caught by my parents, there are some things in this world one should never see, among that is seeing their parents doing the dirty tango.

If you could have the choice would you live forever? Even knowing that everyone you met would eventually die, and you would have to move on.

[Trevorp1594]

hang myself for sure. ever heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation?

get caught by your parents doin' the dirty? or catch your parents in the act?

If by doing the dirty you mean masturbation, then catching my parents, because I can just act like I didn't see it, and we wouldn't talk about it, and if you are reffering to sex, it's the same reason.

[Trevorp1594]

Definitely get caught by my parents, there are some things in this world one should never see, among that is seeing their parents doing the dirty tango.

If you could have the choice would you live forever? Even knowing that everyone you met would eventually die, and you would have to move on.

Yes I would live forever, even though I knew everyone I met would eventually die, I would still see all of the great happenings of the world.

Who would you rather do, Jessica Alba for one whole night, but for the rest of your life you'll be tortured by satan, Jefferey Dharma and the worst serial killers out there for atleast 30 years, or do your mom non-stop for the rest of your life...

[kissthisrump]

Pretty sure "Jefferey Dharma" isn't a person...so I'd pick that one. BUT, if you're talking about Jeffrey Dahmer then I'd do my mom for the rest of my life.

Would you rather kill your mom or your dad? You have to choose one.

[Trevorp1594]

Pretty sure "Jefferey Dharma" isn't a person...so I'd pick that one. BUT, if you're talking about Jeffrey Dahmer then I'd do my mom for the rest of my life.

Would you rather kill your mom or your dad? You have to choose one.

My mom, last night I felt like stabbing her with a fucking knife, and my dad is cool as hell.

Would you rather have 1 trillion dollars go to the starving kids in africa, or yourself.

[gordanthefree]

My mom, last night I felt like stabbing her with a fucking knife, and my dad is cool as hell.

Would you rather have 1 trillion dollars go to the starving kids in africa, or yourself.

My self, then I would donate like 1 million dollars to the Africans because that is like 1 trillion to them anyways

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[gordanthefree]

Live for eternity without having sex ONCE! or live for the normal life span (60 years) and have sex every day even when you don't feel like it?

[Richard_Simmons]

Sex everyday, no explanation necessary.

Go to the doctors everyday or never?

[bizzle]

I've been nearly 6 months without sex and six days without weed. The latter is hurting more so I chose a year without sex.

Give up your dream job or give up your soulmate?


too slow.. sorry

[DaEdge304]

Simmons: doctors everyday. Then you'd be healthty for sure.

bizzle: I'd give up my dream job b/c i think my soulmate would make me happier

Would you rather have to sit in between a gorgeous woman (or man) and a naked, smelly morbidly obese man on a 9 hour car ride? or in the back of a truck, in a cage filled with chickens?

[Pieman]

Chickens, because they're sexier than women. Also, I probably wouldn't be able to see the gorgeous fully clothed (WTF?) woman past the guy.

Tumour in brain, or Heart attack. Which would you rather have?

[Jiggz]

Heart attack, and hopefully I'd die. Tumour takes too long.


Yur penis is chopped off in a freak ice hockey incident. You have the choice of either removing one of your fingers to replace the severed penis, or to forever have mangled stump where it used to be?

Which do you choose? and if you replace it with one of your fingers, which finger?

[Ercoledi]

I'd take the mangled stump. I have ridiculously short fingers.

You're at the deathbed of your best friend. He tells you to tell his parents that he hates them. Do you respect the wishes of said best friend or tell the already grieving parents?

[Quadros]

Hell I'd do it even if he didn't say anything to me.

Ok, so you're secretly in love with your cousin, who feels the same way and has been having a secret affair with you. Do you crash her/his wedding to stop her/him marrying her/his fiance and proclaim your love for her/him, suffering the stigma and embarressment from your entire family and the fiance's family, who I'm sure will have no problem with telling EVERYONE?

[CrappleJuice]

Groase, let her get married and then maybe the both of you won't go to hell. cause you are definatly are! Besides if she was so in love why's she marrying the other guy. Everybody knows you have to grow up and stopfuckingyourcousin someday.

Which would you prefer, to be fat and ugly and maybe even get a few confused girls to sleep w/you but they will in all likelyhood also be fat and/or ugly or to be a an in-shape attractive nazi who's gets all the hot aryan tail he could ever imagine?

[Awsumerthanyou]

Attractive Nazi.

Would you rather have a tree fall on your legs in the middle of the woods all alone and have to cut them off with a plastic spoon, or be trapped in a cave in the middle of the woods (also all alone) and know that you were being looked for and rescue was coming in exactly one month and have to survive by sucking the water out of your feces?

[Richard_Simmons]

Chop my legs off. Quicker and less nasty.

Burned by acid or fire?

[Awsumerthanyou]

Acid. Also, Quicker and less nasty? With a plastic spoon?

Fuck your mom or your Dad?

[kissthisrump]

My mom...my dad just grosses me out. At least my mom is good looking.

Get killed by Jack the Ripper or The Boston Strangler?

[Richard_Simmons]

Doesn't Jack Rape? I'd go with Boston.

Quicker as in not waiting for a month.

Your can only save one of your parents from death. Which one will you save?

[Awsumerthanyou]

Neither. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the other grieving and mourning for a month.

Keeping the theme of parents, would you rather suck your father's dick or fuck your father's ass?

[Trevorp1594]

Awsumer: Well, I'd probably say his ass because I wouldn't have to look at him... though it would still be an extremely traumatic experience...

Would you rather do Pamela Anderson or Angelina Jolie, but they both have a yeast infection?

[Jiggz]

Well, considering a yeast infection isn't contagious, I'd go with Pam. Angelina doesn't do it for me.

You are told that you have a choice, either you die or your mom does. Who do you choose, and why?

[kissthisrump]

Me, my mom is pretty much my life and I couldn't live with her dead - let alone knowing I had anything to do with it.

You have come down with a rare disease...whenever you look at a naked girl you can only see either her ass or her tits - you get to choose which one. So, what will it be?

[Fugga]

Ass :fap: (<---not what i'd actually do)

Lose your sight & hearing, or the abilty to use your limbs?

[Patticus]

Hearing. Sign language is awesome!

Fight in a war you know that you are going to lose and die in, or die in a plane crash while experiencing the most horrifying 15 minutes of your life?

[Jade]

Probably plane crash because 15 minutes is most likely shorter than a war.

If you had to pick between having a very small penis or having one so big you couldn't have sex with anyone because it wouldn't fit which would you choose?

[Richard_Simmons]

Small, at least I could use it.

Would you have sex with a ridiculously fat and ugly transvestite for a million dollars?

[gordanthefree]

sure, I would then showoff to a hot lady then get laid with her.

Have a 1/2 inch dick for the rest of your life? or be 1/2 inch in height?

[Jiggz]

Hmmm... Either way my dicks going to shrink. At least there is surgery for a small penis, so I'll go with the 1/2 inch wang.


You're in heaven, you're about to be "born". God, being the kind , reasonable mythological creature he is, offers you a choice; be born with a 13 inch dick but the face and body of a mongoloid failed abortion, or be born handsome, intelligent, rich but hung like a prematurely born baby hamster?

Think carefully about this one.

[Richard_Simmons]

Handsome, like you said, just get a surgery.

Born without a penis or without a face?

[SupriseSexZell]

Well im a girl

so without a penis suits me

Being really short but really buff... or being really weak but really tall?

[Jiggz]

Handsome, like you said, just get a surgery.

Actually, wrong answer. Ever heard of Ron Jeremy?

Short and buff, nothing worse than a lanky waif.

You can choose exactly how to die, but not know when, OR choose exactly when you're going to die, but not know how?

[Richard_Simmons]

Choose how, and choose the coolest, least painful way. Then, live every day like you are going to die.

Cancer or AIDS?

[chick_off]

Damn, cancer hmmm....nvm aids.idk why though

To have to suck a bears balls or suck a hobos'

[Awsumerthanyou]

That's the easiest question yet. A hobo's, because:
A) A hobo would not attack me,
B) A hobo is human, and
C) Bestiality is illegal.

Rather fuck a running small-nozzle vacuum cleaner (smaller than your penis) or fuck your ass with a large-nozzle vacuum cleaner (larger than your penis)?

Also, for all you females out there, please only answer questions that are applicable to you. Do not say, "Well I'm a girl so I don't have a penis but if I did..."

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[gordanthefree]

Rather fuck a running small-nozzle vacuum cleaner (smaller than your penis) or fuck your ass with a large-nozzle vacuum cleaner (larger than your penis)?



Since the large nozzle isn't on, I'd rather fuck that

Lick a girl's pussy for any sort of sex for the rest of your life (means you don't have sex, only lick), or not have sex ever again?

[Ox]

I'd lick a pussy anyway, of course I'd do that for any sort of sex for the rest of my life. What the fuck?

Have your eyes gouged out, or your testicles?

[Richard_Simmons]

Testicles, I'd kill myself if I was blind.

Blind or Deaf?

[I_Smell]

Deaf. I think there's alot more general compensations for deaf people than for the blind these days. By wich I mean I might be able to live a relatively normal life.

You have enough money to fund the operation for one of two people:
Doris, a 70 year old victim of AIDS, contracted from working as a nurse in the 70s
or Frank, a 30 year old father of 3 with lung cancer, caused by excessive smoking.

[Quadros]

I think Frank, because in a way I'd be saving four lives. But I'd make him get his fucking act together.

You're driving along the road fairly fast when schools out, and your hypothetical daughter runs out right infrom of your car. You have time to swerve, but on both sides of the street there are crowds of kids walking home from school. Do you swerve into the crowds, undoubtadly killing a lot of them, or run down your daughter?

[ibiko]

run down my daughter!!! cuz she's stupid to run infront of the car ! she shouldn't be living !
*runs over daughter*

*sees that daughter is still alive*

*runs over her again to make sure she's dead*
===============

Burp while giving a speech? or fart out loud in an elevator?

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[Richard_Simmons]

Fart in a elevator, bring everyone else down.

You are locked in a room with your family and you aren't allowed to leave unless some one is shot. Who would you shoot?

[sr_becko]

Myself. There's no point in sitting there deciding whats gonna happen or who should die. I'd just do it and get it over with.

Win the lottery with the jackpot being 30 million dollars or inherit an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean?

[Ox]

30 million dollars. Easy. Who wants to be poor, living on a lonely island?

Stomp one kitten to death, or watch fifty kittens being stomped by someone else?

[Quadros]

Either. They're fucking kittens, what do I care? I'd probably just stomp the one myself since it would waste less of my time.

Ok, so you're a competent marksman and you have a rifle. You've found Osama Bin Laden, who is getting into a jeep and about to escape untracably. You have a clear shot on him. However, his bodyguard/devotee knows this and has your sister hostage and is about to cap her ass. Your rifle is a bolt action piece of shit and there's no way you can get Bin Laden and the Bodyguard before Bin laden escapes or your sister dies. Do you take out Bin Laden and win yourself the cool $25 million reward, or save your sister by taking out the bodyguard and lose Bin Laden?

[Liteboy]

my sister is probalby goign to die either way. so shoot Osama, end the war

[gordanthefree]

you forgot a fucking question, so I'll make one :D

Would you jump off a building to save your soul mate, or push him/her off to live your self. (This means they WILL die)

[Johnny]

Push, thus saving myself.

Witness your parents having sex for half an hour or your parents watching you have sex for half an hour?

[Jade]

Oh man that's a tough one. I don't know if I could ever have sex in front of my parents so I would probably just watch them. I have already accidently walked in on them so I'm already scarred for life.

Make out with someone with rotten teeth or get pooped on?

[gordanthefree]

make out, that way I'll be cool :D:D:D:D. (SARCASM!)

Die in your sleep, but have cum all over your bedsheets, and your penis mutialted and kept in a jar above your loved ones bed when found dead? or die from torture saving your country and be a hero? (you die painfully in the last one, peacefully in the first one)

[green rubber bands]

Die in my sleep. Fuck patriotism.

Imagine you have cancer, and it just so happens that you have one weekend to live before the cancer spreads to the rest of your body. Do you take the two days to get comprehensive chemotherapy, embarking on a long and arduous road to recovery which may or may not be successful, or do you sell your house and fly to Las Vegas to have the best two days of your life before you kick the bucket?

[Xambesi]

Comprehensive chemo and so forth.


Would you rather dismember and eat your own child or your own genitals?

[Johnny]

I'd eat my own child only if it was a miscarriaged fetus in its earliest forms. I'd much rather eat a baby than my own balls and dick.

Would you rather have the opportunity to have sex whoever you want without getting an STD or have the opportunity to cure cancer?

[I eat shit for a living]

I'd cure cancer. Then I'd be so rich and famous for curing cancer I could have sex with anyone I wanted. Also fuck STDs, you don't get them every time you fuck someone.

Would you rather have fifteen grape-sized testicals or one orange-sized testical?

[Jiggz]

Ouch. Fifteen grape sized. At least I could have 13 of them removed, and live a normal life.


You are in a relationship with a girl. You find out she used to be a man, but has had the surgery. Do you sleep with her or not?

[Beatzebs]

I wouldn't sleep with her.

What would you choose if you have to eat one of those following things: A bucket full of rusty nails, or a living octopus?

[Jade]

I'm thinking the octopus because you could die from eating rusty nails if they puncture something inside you.

Would you rather have sex with a hot girl and definately get herpes or have sex with your mom with no chance of catching anything?

[Richard_Simmons]

Hot girl. It would be totally worth it and not gross.

Would you sleep with a ridiculousl hot girl if you knew her vagina would bite your penis off? (Aka, that movie Matt described.)

[Awsumerthanyou]

Fuck no.

Would you fuck Jessica Alba (or whoever you consider the hottest person alive) in her prime (of hotness) ten times, if it meant that afterwards you would have to re-enact every scene in the "One of the scariest videos out there, Mature" video (with regenerating body parts so you would do all of the scenes) ?

[Xankou]

Ofcourse i would:) Because, if i do all the scenes, then that include sex scenes, i can ignore the pain after.(I don't know if my question has been done already, i am too lazy to read them all)

Would you, cut your own tongue, dick, and hands off, to save your entire family's lives?(Includes partner's family too)

[JW]

No.


Swallow your still-attached balls, or stick your penis up your ass?

[I eat shit for a living]

Penis up butt. This implies that my penis is long enough to do so. Unless I have to detatch it first, in which case I'd swallow my balls, which implies I am flexible enough to suck my own dick, which wouldn't be too bad either.

Would you rather have a 2-inch dick or a permanent 12-inch boner? NB for some reason you cannot have any surgery to fix your chosen penis.

[Jade]

Well I don't have a penis because I'm a girl but if I was a guy I would pick the 12 inch boner and I would be a porn star.

Would you rather have an orgasm every 5 minutes for the rest of your life or never have one again?

[Quadros]

The questions are supposed to be tough. Orgasm every five minutes, I really don't see a down side.

Ok so your pet dog who you've grown up and love with has a rare colon cancer which will lead to his being put to sleep. There is a cure, however that cure is for you to have anal sex with the dog. Would you ass rape your own dog to keep it alive?

[Phorpus]

Since it would only lead to awkwardness afterwards, and since the dog would probably just die a little bit after anyways, I'd rather just let it peacefully die.

You are sentenced to death by burning alive, but you are given the option to have all of your skin peeled off with a potato peeler and to be let go free. Do you choose to die in the fire or live skinless?

[Richard_Simmons]

Fire. It would suck having no skin.

A man is holding your family hostage and wants you to rob Fort Knox. He calls you every hour and every time you say you don't want to do it, he kills one of your family members. What do you do?

[Mr.Monday]

Say it once so he kills my sister and then rob it for the hell of it.

Have every transsexual in existence want to fuck you or have every drunk hobo in existence want to fuck you?

[Jade]

What? I don't care who wants to fuck me it doesn't mean I have to do it.


If you could only chose to have either oral sex or anal sex for the rest of your life, no vaginas, what would you choose?

[Mr.Monday]

Anal.

You're stuck in a room and with your bf/gf and the only way to get out is to gnaw off ther leg or cut off your left arm. What do you do?

[Jade]

I kinda like my left arm so I'm gonna have to go with my boyfriends leg. Plus if he cared enough about me he would sacrifice it for me anyway.

If you had to choose between having I leg freakishly longer than the other or regular length arms that don't bend what would you choose?

[Mr.Monday]

Probably the leg since I could jut cut the excess off anyway.


Would you rather have someone constantly spray you in the face with water for the rest of your life or every time you hear the word "is" you puke all over the place

[Fugga]

Get sprayed with water.

Never have to pay for anything when you go to a store or pay $.01 to get anything you want delivered to you?

USER WAS PUT IN TIMEOUT FOR THIS POST. (http://forums.explosm.net/bankamp/)
Reason: Your question is stupid, your stupid.

[Jade]

I believe it's supposed to be impossible questions not retarded questions. I'm skipping the last one.

Your stuck on the top of a snowy mountain after a plane crash with your best friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, mom, dad and sibling. You need to start eating people to survive and you are the only one with a gun so you have control. In what order do you kill and eat people? Or do you kill yourself in order to keep everyone else alive?

[Dauntasa]

I'd shoot all of them at the same time. The moutain's cold, so the meat wouldn't go bad and it would give me the best chance for survival.

You're just about to cross a bridge, when it starts to collapse. You see a baby on the bridge. If you go on to the bridge it might fall down when you are on it, but if you don't, it will collapse anyway and kill the baby. Do you try to save the baby, or just stay where you are?

[Phorpus]

I would stay where I was because if I go for the baby it would kill both the baby and myself, but if I don't it would only kill the baby. And with the situation the baby would die either way anyways.

You have been poisoned. There are two antidotes, one of which is in a vial in your arm and the other is two miles away. You do not have any transportation other than your legs, the vial in your arm is unbreakable, and the poison will kill you in fifteen minutes. Do you open your arm and hope you don't die from bleeding or try to run the two miles in under fifteen minutes?

[Mr.Monday]

I would run for it. Chances are I would bleed to death if I tried doing it the other way.


Would you rather have to always smell sweaty pits or always taste pennies?

[gordanthefree]

taste pennies (I don't quite know whats wrong with pennies)

Be the inventor of the Artificial intelligence? or the inventor of the cure to cancer?