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Relaps
08-24-2007, 4:30 PM
WAR
(Jet Li - Jason Statham)

All right. If you're an Action aficionado, then those two names should be familiar. Jet Li kicks ass, Jason Statham kicks ass. Generally, after seeing Crank, if the action kicks ass and the story is just good enough, you can pull off an enjoyable film.

So what went wrong here?

You got the FBI agent Crawford, a hard-boiled Fed in the dangerous streets of San Francisco. After dealing with Yakuza and Triad problems, he finds the main assassin from the Yakuza is this guy named "Rogue," who likes to use Titanium shells and Depleted Uranium bullets as a trademark. After a run in with Rogue, and baffling at his escape, Crawford and his Partner Tom set up a little family get together to watch "the game." When Crawford arrives, he's not expecting to see what he saw.

Now, spoilers ahoy.

Crawford finds Tom's home on fire, and 3 charred bodies inside, along with a titainium shell. He goes on a tangent and is determined to find Rogue.

Skip ahead 3 years, Crawford is devorced, and still obsessing over Rogue. Meanwhile, we look into meaningless back and forth missions involving Rogue with both the Yakuza and the Triads. After a while, I felt like I was watching GTA missions. One middle man stirring up shit between two factions. Also a lot like "Fistfull of Dollars." The whole conflict between the two gangs is: Two golden horses. Apparently a priceless heirloom in China, where they cant be sold, but CAN be sold in San Fran, because there's always a price for shit in another country.

The focus often switches between Crawford and Rogue, and overall, you really don't connect (or care) about the characters. Eventually it's discovered that Rogue is Tom (what a twist!) who got surgery and assumed the role of Rogue to bring down the Yakuza boss who put the hit on Tom and his family. Then he shoots Crawford, because Crawford worked for Yakuza boss a lot, and tried to get out so many times that it's boring. Then Rogue shoots him and drives away in a fancy car.

The writing is terribly cliché, full of cheesy dialogue that doesn't fit with that kinda setting. If it was a funnier film, it would be okay. The cinematography seemed reminicant to the Borne series; lots of quick cuts, wobbly camera, and close ups so often you don't know what the fuck is going on.

This movie had potential. That potential didn't even get close.

**••• 2/5 stars

Don't waste your money. To make an action film with Jet Li and Jason Statham boring takes skill. The worst skill possible.

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/7747/okkodj5.jpg

Mobius
08-24-2007, 4:33 PM
I thought Jet Li stopped making movies.

Relaps
08-24-2007, 4:35 PM
Jet Li stopped making the Chinese Epics (think Hero, or Crouching Tiger. Those kinda films.)

He wants to do more action films. He should read the script better though.

Kwanza
08-24-2007, 11:55 PM
This is disappointing considering Statham is a fucking sex god, and Li is a god damn legend. How could they have done this? :wail:

junglebunny
08-24-2007, 11:58 PM
I'll probably still go see it

Allen
08-25-2007, 12:00 AM
Aww... Man. I've already made plans to go see this in the morning. Oh well. At least it's matinee price.

Raxo
08-25-2007, 12:05 AM
So much for expecting something good.

What a bad way to follow up Crank for Statham.

Relaps
08-25-2007, 9:11 AM
What a bad way to follow up Crank for Statham.

The only remedy for 'War' is to watch Crank. Then you're like "Never existed. Statham is redeemed."

SLjimbolian
08-25-2007, 4:30 PM
Bummer dude, I had pretty high expectations for this one. Now I'm avoiding it.

Oberlin
08-26-2007, 2:24 AM
I refuse to believe it.

I'm going to watch it anyway.

Android
08-26-2007, 2:55 AM
I actually fell asleep watching Crank. Don't get me wrong I like my action movies, but that one didn't do it for me.

peteaboda1
08-26-2007, 2:10 PM
Crap, I wanted to see this. All I needed to hear was Li and Statham. Screw it I'm still going to see it, I'll go in thinking it's worse than Crank and then it will be good right??

Relaps
08-26-2007, 3:45 PM
This movie will never be good. But fine! Don't heed my warnings.

I actually fell asleep watching Crank.

-5 love.

Allen
08-26-2007, 7:20 PM
I think had I gone in with the expectations I had originally I would have thought it was horrible. But after reading Relaps's review I was expecting much worse. The camera work got on my nerves, and a lot of the dialogu was lame, and there were too many pointless scenes, but it was an okay action movie. Until the end. The film spent most of its time kicking ass and building up coolness, and then tore that all apart in under five minutes. I could have even hacked the original twist, what with Tom being Rogue, had it not been for the final little spin they put on it, what with Statham working with Yakuza.

I don't really recommend this movie, but if you get dragged to it you won't feel completely suicidal. It had potential. It didn't deliver.

Relaps
08-26-2007, 7:41 PM
I think had I gone in with the expectations I had originally I would have thought it was horrible.

I went with high expectations, so yeah.

Oberlin
08-26-2007, 8:08 PM
I went with high expectations, so yeah.

I cried afterwards. My roommate has Crank and he's away for the week, so Transporter is all the redemption Statham gets for now.

Relaps
08-26-2007, 10:08 PM
I feel that Transporter is acceptable. The first is most satisfying I think.

Although fighting with a firehose in the second was pretty fuckin' inventive.

Allen
08-27-2007, 6:22 PM
My only reaction after seeing this movie, after the screen went black and the sound silenced before going to credits, I yelled. "What?!", as loud as I possibly could. This was an involuntary action.

Kwanza
08-28-2007, 3:19 AM
I really wish I didn't pay money to see that, and I shouldn't have after this review. I'm never doubting you again Relaps. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME STAHAM :wail:

Derelict
08-28-2007, 3:59 AM
I loved Transporter and haven't seen Crank yet, so if I don't like this movie I'll follow it up with Crank and hopefully Relaps' loving that movie will convince my mind to love it too.

ArKaiN
08-28-2007, 4:04 AM
I don't think this director's got a grasp on what mindfuck's about. Twists are supposed to make the story better, not much worse.

hardcoresk8r69
08-28-2007, 2:06 PM
After reading this reply, I will not see this movie.

Thanks for saving me some money.

Dacada
09-02-2007, 8:23 PM
I don't really recommend this movie, but if you get dragged to it you won't feel completely suicidal. It had potential. It didn't deliver.
Fuck yes, it had potential. Jet Li and Jason "Sex God" Statham pitted together gives a film about as much potential as a film can possibly have. :wail:

I had a little conversation during the opening credits that went a bit like this:
My friend: "Don't make fun of this movie, okay? STATHAM for christsake."
Me: "I'll only make fun of it if it's extremely called for."
My friend: "Well, YEAH."
Needless to say, I could probably write an entire stand-up routine about the first scene of that piece of crap movie. :mad: