Hats of!
02-26-2008, 5:30 PM
This short story is written by me, it's called God Amongst Men and follows a woman in China during the Cold Wars. It's a critique against dictatorship, not communism. I don't go on a rant for any ideas, only dictators.
Please comment on the story rather then spelling, I'm really tierd and I might have made some typos or something I failed to notice.
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God Amongst Men
I can remember the sea forming itself around my feets while I stood by the shore. I can remember seeing the shore reaching across an amazing length with white clean sand. I can remember the trees, tall as the sky it reached. When I was young I always ran in the woods, enjoying the smell of leaves and fruit.
My father were a fisherman. Proud of his job and a strong man, I never questioned him. My mother stayed at home an took care of the fish my father had caught. She was a gorgeous lady, and she had no problem promising me that I would grow up to be equal to her, something I often doubted. I can understand by now that these words are merely truthfull, that it’s my current situation that paints up a glorious past, atleast that’s what they had always told me.
It wasn’t untill I were twelve that they came. They gave us all a red book, surprisingly small for it’s promise, it was to be the guide for a better tommorow. I never understood, wasn’t life good as it was? I couldn’t think of it being any better. My father and mother didn’t seem to agree, they loved the book. For a time I thought they were mad. Really mad, the way you can turn if you fought in a war. The bringer of the book were dressed in red and liked to use the word comrade. They had taken care of the higher power, they were heroes! Infact, they were gods amongst men. But, as a child I never stuck my mind on a thing like this, instead I wanted to grow up, meet a boy and marry. I wanted to be like mother.
When I got older my father died. I never got over it. My mother and I didn’t had a clue on what to do. We had no-one to go to, no relatives, not even the red book gave us any answers. We didn’t have any money, my mother wasn’t trained in anything other then housework, much like me. The only thing she could do was to find a new husband.
The red men took my dad corpse, they said that they wanted to know what killed him. My mother didn’t want them, but they demanded it saying that the army of the west mabye killed him. That was a lie, it was the limitation of food.
Just a few years prior we had gotten plenty of food, bread, rice, noodles, tea, yes, everything you want. Even I was beginning to like the red men, seeing their promise coming alive. Well, as you might suspect, this wasn’t going to last. We didn’t know why but we didn’t get as much food any longer. Father told me and mother to not be at fear, because they still took as much fish as before, so they must give some back sooner or later. This was the first time I doubted father. I feelt guilty once he was dead, but I know that he was wrong. My father died out of hunger. The delays from the red men were longer, and my father who were the only one with a job were the first one to go. It was at this point I met a boy.
The boy were so unlike me in many ways, but I must tell you, he was a handsome one. He was rebellious and told me about USA and their Rock ‘n’ Roll. I always told him that he was crazy, that they couldn’t be such powerful rebels. He was a criminal according to many, my mother too. She didn’t know that I was in love with him, she know of him through the ladies by the village. He was a bad infulence on kids she said, not sure if she was the former of those words or one of the ladies. One of the ladies were married to one of the red men. The had told my mother of a red men who had moved in near the tailor. He was handsome she said, my mother agreed. It had now passed a year since my father died and we have lived thanks to one of mother’s friends, she were the only one who knew of my boyfriend. She never told mother, she never told one of the ladies, she never even told her husband.
At this point I was 19 year old and I was told to get married. My mother had married the red man, and he was my new father. I never called him father, only when he hit me. Mother ignored it and said that I should respect him and he’ll show his kindness. I only thought that if he truly were my new father, he would love me without forcing me to respect him. But I didn’t about this, my relationship with the rebellious boy had grown, he was the first man I ever had sex with. I weren’t allowed to, I know but I did it anyway, he had something he called a condom. One day I were off to meet him, he were gone. I had no idea why he weren’t there. He always cared for me and never ran off. I went back to my house and heard my new father brag about something. Then I started to hear words like boy, criminal and death camp in his brag. I knew this weren’t good. As I entered the door my mother looked at me with joy and then look at my new father. She said that he had send that nasty theif to the death camp in Russia. My mind stopped for a moment as I sat down, crying my hearts out. New father didn’t understand why I cried, but my mother soothed me and said that I didn’t need to worry about anything, no man were ever to treat me bad. My new father stood up for me at this point, shocking, yes. He said that he would care for me and find me a husband. I didn’t like the last word.
Within a year, the day I turned 20 I met this man my new father had told me about. Stupid as a pig, handsome as a dragon. To be honest at first I didn’t see anything that were wrong about him. He were handsome as I said, even if he lacked in brain he were a son of a red man, granting me glory within the country. The only problem was that I didn’t love this man. A problem which my mother didn’t seem to care about, I had always thought that were strange, I mean, she loved dad, why shouldn’t I love the one I marry?
As the years passed I married him. He really did care for me, but I didn’t know if he cared for my soul or my uterus. He had planted his seed within me, yes and the doctors said that I would give birth to a baby girl. I always wanted a girl, someone to tend for and teach how to be pretty, but my husband disagreed, he wanted a boy. He even asked the doctors if they could change it’s sex. I told him that I would have as many childs as I can to give him a boy, he stared at me for a while, and then kissed me on my cheek. He told me that he loved me, a kind word amongst many, but it only made me aware of that I don’t.
Since then I had more childs, I have given birth to three, two girls and a boy. My husband loved the boy. He loved everything about him, his hair, his smile, his nose, yes everything. My daughters were much like me, and they took good care of my son. One day I was standing in our kitchen making dinner for the family as one of my daughter rushed in and draged me by my dress. She said a group of red men were walking around in the village looking for soilders. She was afraid that they would take her father away.
I walked towards the door with my husband when they knocked. My husband gave them a salute, I just bowed. The man weren’t that handsome, infact, he looked like a frog mixed with a bull. He told my husband that he had a gorgeous wife, making me blush. My husband asked want kind of war they’re facing. The man told about a war against the west who were trying to protect the remains of the higher power. Located in Korea. My husband said that he would serve the glorious nation and it’s leader to his death. He ignored my stare. The man laughed, glad over my husbands choice.
My husband left us with many hugs and for me, kisses. He told us that he would return, return with a promise of a better future. A future were our child wouldn’t have to live with war. To me he said that he never, ever would loose hope, and if he did, he would think about me. I never heard of him again. The red men told me that he had died in battle and that me and my children would be under protection for a while, enough time for me to get a new husband.
I have no idea who to marry this time. I don’t care about my dead husband, my new father or my old. I’ve lost hope, and as you read this, try to avoid my mistakes. I’ll hide this note inside the walls of this old house, hoping that none of the red men will find it, I wouldn’t like to go to a death camp.
Sincerely, Sun.
Please comment on the story rather then spelling, I'm really tierd and I might have made some typos or something I failed to notice.
---------------------------------------------------------------
God Amongst Men
I can remember the sea forming itself around my feets while I stood by the shore. I can remember seeing the shore reaching across an amazing length with white clean sand. I can remember the trees, tall as the sky it reached. When I was young I always ran in the woods, enjoying the smell of leaves and fruit.
My father were a fisherman. Proud of his job and a strong man, I never questioned him. My mother stayed at home an took care of the fish my father had caught. She was a gorgeous lady, and she had no problem promising me that I would grow up to be equal to her, something I often doubted. I can understand by now that these words are merely truthfull, that it’s my current situation that paints up a glorious past, atleast that’s what they had always told me.
It wasn’t untill I were twelve that they came. They gave us all a red book, surprisingly small for it’s promise, it was to be the guide for a better tommorow. I never understood, wasn’t life good as it was? I couldn’t think of it being any better. My father and mother didn’t seem to agree, they loved the book. For a time I thought they were mad. Really mad, the way you can turn if you fought in a war. The bringer of the book were dressed in red and liked to use the word comrade. They had taken care of the higher power, they were heroes! Infact, they were gods amongst men. But, as a child I never stuck my mind on a thing like this, instead I wanted to grow up, meet a boy and marry. I wanted to be like mother.
When I got older my father died. I never got over it. My mother and I didn’t had a clue on what to do. We had no-one to go to, no relatives, not even the red book gave us any answers. We didn’t have any money, my mother wasn’t trained in anything other then housework, much like me. The only thing she could do was to find a new husband.
The red men took my dad corpse, they said that they wanted to know what killed him. My mother didn’t want them, but they demanded it saying that the army of the west mabye killed him. That was a lie, it was the limitation of food.
Just a few years prior we had gotten plenty of food, bread, rice, noodles, tea, yes, everything you want. Even I was beginning to like the red men, seeing their promise coming alive. Well, as you might suspect, this wasn’t going to last. We didn’t know why but we didn’t get as much food any longer. Father told me and mother to not be at fear, because they still took as much fish as before, so they must give some back sooner or later. This was the first time I doubted father. I feelt guilty once he was dead, but I know that he was wrong. My father died out of hunger. The delays from the red men were longer, and my father who were the only one with a job were the first one to go. It was at this point I met a boy.
The boy were so unlike me in many ways, but I must tell you, he was a handsome one. He was rebellious and told me about USA and their Rock ‘n’ Roll. I always told him that he was crazy, that they couldn’t be such powerful rebels. He was a criminal according to many, my mother too. She didn’t know that I was in love with him, she know of him through the ladies by the village. He was a bad infulence on kids she said, not sure if she was the former of those words or one of the ladies. One of the ladies were married to one of the red men. The had told my mother of a red men who had moved in near the tailor. He was handsome she said, my mother agreed. It had now passed a year since my father died and we have lived thanks to one of mother’s friends, she were the only one who knew of my boyfriend. She never told mother, she never told one of the ladies, she never even told her husband.
At this point I was 19 year old and I was told to get married. My mother had married the red man, and he was my new father. I never called him father, only when he hit me. Mother ignored it and said that I should respect him and he’ll show his kindness. I only thought that if he truly were my new father, he would love me without forcing me to respect him. But I didn’t about this, my relationship with the rebellious boy had grown, he was the first man I ever had sex with. I weren’t allowed to, I know but I did it anyway, he had something he called a condom. One day I were off to meet him, he were gone. I had no idea why he weren’t there. He always cared for me and never ran off. I went back to my house and heard my new father brag about something. Then I started to hear words like boy, criminal and death camp in his brag. I knew this weren’t good. As I entered the door my mother looked at me with joy and then look at my new father. She said that he had send that nasty theif to the death camp in Russia. My mind stopped for a moment as I sat down, crying my hearts out. New father didn’t understand why I cried, but my mother soothed me and said that I didn’t need to worry about anything, no man were ever to treat me bad. My new father stood up for me at this point, shocking, yes. He said that he would care for me and find me a husband. I didn’t like the last word.
Within a year, the day I turned 20 I met this man my new father had told me about. Stupid as a pig, handsome as a dragon. To be honest at first I didn’t see anything that were wrong about him. He were handsome as I said, even if he lacked in brain he were a son of a red man, granting me glory within the country. The only problem was that I didn’t love this man. A problem which my mother didn’t seem to care about, I had always thought that were strange, I mean, she loved dad, why shouldn’t I love the one I marry?
As the years passed I married him. He really did care for me, but I didn’t know if he cared for my soul or my uterus. He had planted his seed within me, yes and the doctors said that I would give birth to a baby girl. I always wanted a girl, someone to tend for and teach how to be pretty, but my husband disagreed, he wanted a boy. He even asked the doctors if they could change it’s sex. I told him that I would have as many childs as I can to give him a boy, he stared at me for a while, and then kissed me on my cheek. He told me that he loved me, a kind word amongst many, but it only made me aware of that I don’t.
Since then I had more childs, I have given birth to three, two girls and a boy. My husband loved the boy. He loved everything about him, his hair, his smile, his nose, yes everything. My daughters were much like me, and they took good care of my son. One day I was standing in our kitchen making dinner for the family as one of my daughter rushed in and draged me by my dress. She said a group of red men were walking around in the village looking for soilders. She was afraid that they would take her father away.
I walked towards the door with my husband when they knocked. My husband gave them a salute, I just bowed. The man weren’t that handsome, infact, he looked like a frog mixed with a bull. He told my husband that he had a gorgeous wife, making me blush. My husband asked want kind of war they’re facing. The man told about a war against the west who were trying to protect the remains of the higher power. Located in Korea. My husband said that he would serve the glorious nation and it’s leader to his death. He ignored my stare. The man laughed, glad over my husbands choice.
My husband left us with many hugs and for me, kisses. He told us that he would return, return with a promise of a better future. A future were our child wouldn’t have to live with war. To me he said that he never, ever would loose hope, and if he did, he would think about me. I never heard of him again. The red men told me that he had died in battle and that me and my children would be under protection for a while, enough time for me to get a new husband.
I have no idea who to marry this time. I don’t care about my dead husband, my new father or my old. I’ve lost hope, and as you read this, try to avoid my mistakes. I’ll hide this note inside the walls of this old house, hoping that none of the red men will find it, I wouldn’t like to go to a death camp.
Sincerely, Sun.