View Full Version : CANNONCROTCH
I_Smell
03-07-2008, 7:48 PM
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/428930
The showcase is a bit shit right now. Stories? Haikus? Fuckin- Photography? Jeez. WHERE'S THE GAMES?? You're aking. Right, so here it is, the one I;ve bin working on for like- a few months or something. I'm sure I planned something to say here, bit now I hontestly can't think og anything. Whatever. Check it out. VOTE 6 N ALL THAT SHITE.
Also, I plan to make mega£££s off this through advertising.
MORE HITS= MORE MONEY
KEEP HITTIN THAT SHIT.
BEFORE PLAYING IT: Ha. Seems pretty fun. Is it about some guy with a cannon for a crotch?
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WHILE PLAYING IT: It's taking ages to load for some strange reason. Probably my computer.
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AFTER PLAYING IT: I waited like twenty minutes and nothing happened, So I gave up. Sounds fun, though.
Casalen
03-07-2008, 8:06 PM
Awesome.
Also, for the above; it loaded fine and started fine, as long as you pressed a to continue like it told you to.
I_Smell
03-07-2008, 8:13 PM
BEFORE PLAYING IT: Ha. Seems pretty fun. Is it about some guy with a cannon for a crotch?
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WHILE PLAYING IT: It's taking ages to load for some strange reason. Probably my computer.
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AFTER PLAYING IT: I waited like twenty minutes and nothing happened, So I gave up. Sounds fun, though.
BEFORE READING IT: Wow, what a shit avatar.
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WHILE READING IT: Why has he formatted it lilke that? Thats werid.
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AFTER READING IT: It loads perfectly fine. Jeez. It is lime 5 megabytes.
Hot damn, superb game. Aside from some minor glitches, my only complaint would be that the controls are a tad clunky and the game can get hard when you die in one hit.
Still, putted in favorites folder.
Desert
03-07-2008, 8:15 PM
Um, I'm at the part where it's Hitler (I guess), in the plane and the screen stops and I'm at the edge. I jumped off to see if something happened, but I just died. Help?
By the by, it's an awesome game.
WHILE PLAYING IT: It's taking ages to load for some strange reason. Probably my computer.
It loads perfectly, you idiot.
:indiff:
All I got was a white screen.
From what I played it was really fun though like Lag said the controls are a bit strange. Also I personally dislike that you die in one hit because then as soon as you respawn you get hit again and die. =/ Though like I said that might just be that I suck.
I_Smell
03-07-2008, 8:24 PM
There's a fuckin- There's a short period of invulnerability. Jeezus.
+There's not glitches, you fatass liars.
Matterialize
03-07-2008, 8:28 PM
What the hell made you choose S over the up arrow key for jumping?
Other than that, pretty fun game 'cept I hit a glitch or whatever at the giant nazi mecha-crab boss thing. I kept respawning exactly where I died, in mid-air, over no platforms, so I eventually just started respawning below the screen as it moved upwards. I quit then.
Oh and cool music, but no sound effects? Weird.
A health bar would kinda be good, instead of just have a buttload of lives. The running is kind of annoying/slow, but other than that it's hilariously awesome.
It's like the holocaust all over again.
Uhhh.. Yeah. I waited long enough, and it started to load.
I_Smell
03-07-2008, 8:39 PM
UP as jump? Nah mate. See, so many games like this use UP as the button that aims upwards. If I made UP jump, It'd make it more obcious that you can't aim up. Also, I noticed there were a couple other Flash games using A and S as the main action buttons. I could got into ergonomics, explaining why n all that shite. But I don't feel like it.
As for glitches: WHAT THE FUCK. I had like 50 beta testers and there are still glitches. What a fuckin shambles.
Also, Jerry Wilson, piss off. You've obviously got a crappo connection.
Desert
03-07-2008, 8:41 PM
Did you finish the game, cause all I can get to is Hitler in the airplane near the ledge. Maybe I'm missing something.
That is a pretty kick ass game.
I finally got into playing it. I don't find any glitches are anything like that, and the S button as shoot is real good, so you can move around with one hand, and shoot/jump with the other. It's perfect.
Plus, yes, I do have a pretty shite connection. But it was going real slow 'cause something was downloading that I didn't realize. :fmita:
I_Smell
03-07-2008, 8:52 PM
Yeah, I just played it through to th end. Are you talking asbout the bit where hilter's in a plane? Cos that works for me and the best levels' like - right after that.
Desert
03-07-2008, 8:53 PM
Do you shoot the plane, get in the sidecar thing? I don't know.
Nevermind, it was a glitch. :ahe: I can face him now.
Double Edit: Fuck this game. No offence; it's great, but I just can't get past the cloning place.
I only got up to the "giant nazi mecha-crab boss thing" (in the words of Matterialize).
I was too busy listening to the music to stay alive.
Great game. I only got just past the spider-nazi-bot though. I kept using all my grenades and ran out of lives. Ah well.
Voted 5 and Fav'd.
DieHard
03-07-2008, 9:16 PM
Did you finish the game, cause all I can get to is Hitler in the airplane near the ledge. Maybe I'm missing something.
You have to kill the guy with the minigun before it
Do you have to kill the crab thing?
Or just outrun it?
Desert
03-07-2008, 9:19 PM
You wait until grenade boxes show up and then jump on the side ledge and shoot the grenade at the body until it stops and dies.
Do you have to kill the crab thing?
Or just outrun it?
You have to shoot it. You can do it by jumping, holding down the 'down' arrow and then shooting.
Oh, I see. Thank you for the help.
Keep up the good work, Smelly Guy.
Benjaman
03-07-2008, 9:34 PM
I just Stumbled Upon it :fmita:
I thought it was great, I played for a few minutes before my internet went off.
Did you finish the game, cause all I can get to is Hitler in the airplane near the ledge. Maybe I'm missing something.
Same here. Otherwise, great.
And why not come to us for some beta testing? Bro, your last name is my first, would I lie to you?
P0K3M0N_MA5T3R
03-08-2008, 6:06 AM
Not bad at all. I got to the plane section and was getting shot at from somewhere by 2 lasers and died.
PyroOwned
03-08-2008, 6:08 AM
Awesome game, it was REALLY hard to start off with, I mean, "S" as jump?
You should put the controls as:
Left/Right/Down - Movement
Space - Jump
S - Shoot
A - Grenade
Apart from that, the game was AWESOME. I loved the German propaganda posters and stuff. I died and I couldn't be bothered to continue, anyone wanna tell me how it ends?
CharlieH
03-08-2008, 6:36 AM
Thats a great game.
Even though i've tested it for you, there really is nothing better then having a shot at the final piece.
Just out of interest, can you complete your own games?
Mr Anorexia
03-08-2008, 6:50 AM
Put me in the credits faggot.
Mr. Crow
03-08-2008, 7:14 AM
BEFORE READING IT: Wow, what a shit avatar.
I made that avatar. :mad:
The game itself and the the beginning are hilarious as fuck, but the game play is sort of boring. Maybe it gets better later in the game, but so far I've found it tedious and kind of hard.
Tyler_Legrand
03-08-2008, 7:44 AM
Too damn hard when you're trying to get across the falling bridge, especially when you respawn. I was stuck at the cloning factory because the machine disappeared.
Assassin
03-08-2008, 10:26 AM
Good and funny game, but there was some stuff I didn't like.
- The crappy image quality in the beginning scene
- The health system (it was kind of annoying having to respawn constantly)
- No sound effects
Also, I quit the game when I met the tank at the beginning. It kept shooting at me, and when I respawned, my movement wasn't fast enough to outrun the tank, so it kept following and killing me with its cannons.
Good game though
I_Smell
03-08-2008, 10:56 AM
Right, I don't know what that thing about not getting up to the plane level is. The code is just: If the guy hits this unavoidable box: Play.
So that's weird.
The first boss: When you shoot the turret, it flashes red. Keep doing that and keep moving.
I would've asked fr beta testing here, but after I asked at NG, I literally got about 50 people asking and the credits were getting way too long.
Also, the falling bridge is broke =O
It didn't used to fall like that. Stupid bridge.
+Yea course I can complete my own games. I feel like I'm the only one that did though >_>
+The ending is Hitler explodes, dies and explodes again. Then you fight a giant mutant nazi thing. Colonel picks you up in a hecilopter. It's quite heartwarming.
Infact, someone tell me if they complete it.
DieHard
03-08-2008, 11:04 AM
Right, I don't know what that thing about not getting up to the plane level is. The code is just: If the guy hits this unavoidable box: Play.
So that's weird.
The first boss: When you shoot the turret, it flashes red. Keep doing that and keep moving.
I would've asked fr beta testing here, but after I asked at NG, I literally got about 50 people asking and the credits were getting way too long.
Also, the falling bridge is broke =O
It didn't used to fall like that. Stupid bridge.
+Yea course I can complete my own games. I feel like I'm the only one that did though >_>
+The ending is Hitler explodes, dies and explodes again. Then you fight a giant mutant nazi thing. Colonel picks you up in a hecilopter. It's quite heartwarming.
Infact, someone tell me if they complete it.
I got across the bridge easily by holding down the jump button
Great game. The starting music is hilarious.
By the way, I'm finding the flying part to be insanely difficult when those speedy planes fly by. I have no idea what's going on and how to actually dodge them.
I_Smell
03-08-2008, 11:14 AM
When you see the red line, that means a plane's about to fly across right there. So when you see a red line, get well out of the way.
Or just stay as far up the screen as possible.
Shagg
03-08-2008, 11:40 AM
The only thing i hate is "S" being the jump button, it just doesn't make any sense. :wail:
But, otherwise it's fun to play, and I wanna beat the nazi's.
monkeyboyjr
03-08-2008, 12:07 PM
Well, besides the blurry-ness of the graphics at sometimes and the lack of sound effects. It's really nice. Beat it on Easy in one sitting. Gonna go back through on Medium and activate the chest hair cheat. Loved the ending though.
"That things still alive."
"Yeah...I only brought one missile."
Very nice work I_Smell. I really don't see what people are complaining about. The UP Key worked as jump for me. And firing was easy as hell. Just press the button as fast as you can. Which leads me to another point, not trying to sound like a nagger, but if you want it to be more difficult..try adding a delay to the firing and grenades. I beat Hitler easily. Just threw my grenades all at once and rapid-fired my crotch cannon.
Also, needs more Rifle Power Up. BEST. UPGRADE. EVER.
EDIT: Chest Hair + Nakedness = Awesome.
That was actually a pretty good shoot 'em.
The game would've been better if there was a melee attack, since this felt like Metal Slug and Alien Hominid and that attack helped greatly in those games.
Also the beginning sequence was pretty funny and I like how you used a shot from your Explosm Collab thing flash.
You're on the front page now too.
monkeyboyjr
03-08-2008, 12:31 PM
So, I was going back through on Hard and found a bug. After you beat the flying plane level. The sign for the Nazi HQ shows up. If you pause at that point and unpause. It disappears and you're flying forever, which really isn't a bad thing. Except you can't finish the game.
The showcase is a bit shit right now. Stories? Haikus? Fuckin- Photography? Jeez. WHERE'S THE GAMES?
What the fuck's wrong with my Haikus, asshole?!
<3
FlamingPeanuts
03-08-2008, 1:02 PM
I got a glitch where one enemy just didn't die, at the door part where there are men coming from the left and you have to shoot the door to the right one man was just invincible. The only way I got past was by standing inside him and shooting the door down.
Marypovich
03-08-2008, 1:02 PM
Haha, this is the best game ever! :lol:
I_Smell
03-08-2008, 1:23 PM
The only thing i hate is "S" being the jump button, it just doesn't make any sense. :wail:
But, otherwise it's fun to play, and I wanna beat the nazi's.
I updated it just now. UP=Jump.
I didn't realise that was so important, but pretty much everyone keeps mentioning it.
What the fuck's wrong with my Haikus, asshole?!
<3
I was not in top form while writing that. Check out the Author Comments on the CannonCrotch page =/
Well, besides the blurry-ness of the graphics at sometimes and the lack of sound effects. It's really nice. Beat it on Easy in one sitting. Gonna go back through on Medium and activate the chest hair cheat. Loved the ending though.
"That things still alive."
"Yeah...I only brought one missile."
Very nice work I_Smell. I really don't see what people are complaining about. The UP Key worked as jump for me. And firing was easy as hell. Just press the button as fast as you can. Which leads me to another point, not trying to sound like a nagger, but if you want it to be more difficult..try adding a delay to the firing and grenades. I beat Hitler easily. Just threw my grenades all at once and rapid-fired my crotch cannon.
Also, needs more Rifle Power Up. BEST. UPGRADE. EVER.
EDIT: Chest Hair + Nakedness = Awesome.
I LOVE YOU. I didn't think it was too eay. Most people are saying it's too hard. My favourite cheat's the SEXXXY one. I didn't think it'd be so funny until I actually tried it.
And the rifle powerup is DEFINATELY the best one. I was gonna put a cheat in for it, can't remember why I didn't. It might be in the unused concepts thing.
not trying to sound like a nagger,
Banned for racism
EDIT- OH YES. IT'S ON THE FUCKIN GAMES PAGE. (http://www.newgrounds.com/game/) I AM IMMORTALISED.
I was not in top form while writing that. Check out the Author Comments on the CannonCrotch page =/
"Woah, he's naked! That's gayer than 300, faggot!"
I lost on the big mutant thingy at the end. :(
I lost on the big mutant thingy at the end. :(
Me too :frown:
I have this thing where I never start new games I play on easy though, so I've just been trying to beat it on medium first.
Matterialize
03-08-2008, 10:49 PM
I can't believe some of the idiot reviews you're getting. Everyone who gave it a 0 because "itw as overly dificult" just fucking sucks at video games.
Also,
It's another side-scrolling shooter, but it's got some cock jokes in it.
Yes.
Lance
03-08-2008, 11:20 PM
Great job on getting Front Page, Smelly.
Pretty fun game overall.
xkittenxsocksx
03-09-2008, 12:21 PM
That was pretty juicy, I also liked the movement of the ropes.
Not sure if anyone has pointed this out yet but I entered the room where you fight the nazi spider so I shot my last grenade and it looked like it exploded like this (http://img218.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cannoncrotchib4.png) except that I could still see it shooting its missiles and the game was still going on.
I_Smell
03-09-2008, 3:25 PM
Alot of people have started saying that. It's like the craziest glitch- I made the grenades first, and in the 3 or 4 months of development, neither me or the 50 thousand beta testers noticed it.
That's weird.
Shadow Fyre
03-09-2008, 3:30 PM
This game is AWESOME!!! Seriously, this is my favorite side scroller since Sonic the Hedgehog back on the Sega Genesis and probably will be my favorite until LittleBigPlanet comes out! Seriously, this is a good game.
CalculatePie314
03-09-2008, 9:20 PM
Amazing game, but I suck at it and I can't beat it... even with the 30 lives.
I found a weird glitch, though. The machine you have to destroy in the cloning factory disappeared. I don't know what happened, I died while trying to kill the tank and everyone, and it was just gone. There was only a wall there. I tried shooting the wall to see if it was actually there, but just invisible, but nothing happened.
EDIT: Like so... http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/8844/46333741kv6.jpg
Idioteque
03-11-2008, 8:57 PM
First thing I noticed was the "subliminal dongs" Colonel that you posted a while back! Fucking awesome!
Holy fuck I suck at this game though, dodging is something I have yet to figure out.
Manicmonkey
03-13-2008, 1:15 PM
This game is so funny Smelly, I love how you just threw random "German" words together and they're not correct at all. It gets kind of tedious, I pretty much just run through spamming the shoot key and destroying everything in my path, but I suppose that's the fun of it. The music is awesome as well, I love how you put a trippy version of the Song of Storms in the beginning. Overall great job, I played it so you've gotten $.02 from me :)
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