Steven Wright: Favorite quotes

[Cobalt65]

If you don't know he is, go do something not gay.

"The guy who lives next to me has a circular drive-way...he can't get out."

"When I was a kid I wished the first word I said was quote so right before I died I could say unquote."

[Shagg]

Well.. I guess I gotta go do something gay. :ahe:

Theres a few people named Steven Wright.. be more specific.

[Rebecca.]

This has been up for two hours & hasn't been dumped yet? Are the mods slacking?

[ace76543]

going on 8 now

[CharlieH]

OK, i think what he was trying to do was to get us to put all out favourite quotes on here. Whether they are by the Stephen Wright character or not.

I'll start.

"Make Love, Not War. Or get married and make both" ~ Anon

"When I was young, I prayed for a bike for christmas. Then I realised God didn't work like that, so I stole a bike, and prayed for forgiveness" ~ Peter Kay, English Comedian.

[junglebunny]

if you dont know who stephen wright is youre a fucking faggot

[Cristo]

Oh, right so as a non-US national I'm a faggot for not knowing someone semi-famous within the States. Right I see. Ok, then you're a faggot for not knowing who Jimmy Carr, Bill Bailey and Russel Howard from the UK are.

[junglebunny]

oh cristo :rolleyes:

[CharlieH]

Oh, right so as a non-US national I'm a faggot for not knowing someone semi-famous within the States. Right I see. Ok, then you're a faggot for not knowing who Jimmy Carr, Bill Bailey and Russel Howard from the UK are.

Hear Hear Cristo

Not Forgetting Lee Evans, Al Murray and a whole host of others.

[Cristo]

Hear Hear Cristo

Not Forgetting Lee Evans, Al Murray and a whole host of others.

Of course, thank you.

[ArKaiN]

Anyway, in before dump

[TriSlash]

Not Forgetting Lee Evans, Al Murray and a whole host of others.

Yeah, but Al Murray is shite.

[Shagg]

Oh, right so as a non-US national I'm a faggot for not knowing someone semi-famous within the States. Right I see. Ok, then you're a faggot for not knowing who Jimmy Carr, Bill Bailey and Russel Howard from the UK are.

He's not even semi-famous, to tell you the truth. He's probably... nano-famous. :mmyes:

[Cristo]

He's not even semi-famous, to tell you the truth. He's probably... nano-famous. :mmyes:

Ouch, owned!

[junglebunny]

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an Academy Award-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer from Burlington, Massachusetts. He is known for his slow, deadpan, monotone delivery of ironic, witty, deeply philosophical and sometimes confusing jokes and one-liners with overly contrived situations.

Wright released a comedy album in 1985 titled I Have a Pony, released on Warner Bros. Records, which received critical acclaim and was nominated for a Grammy Award. In 1992, Wright had a recurring role on the television sitcom Mad About You. He later won an Academy Award for his short film, The Appointments of Dennis Jennings. He also supplied the voice of the radio DJ in the film Reservoir Dogs.

There are numerous lists of jokes attributed to Wright circulating on the Internet, sometimes of dubious origin. Wright has stated that "someone showed me a site, and half of it that said I wrote it, I didn't write. Recently, I saw one, and I didn't write any of it. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, I'm embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad." [1]

After his 1990 comedy special Wicker Chairs and Gravity, Wright continued to do live stand-up performances, but was largely absent from television, only doing occasional guest spots on late night talk shows. In 2006, noticing that much of his audience in recent years was getting older, and wanting to reach out to a generation that may only know him from films like Half Baked, he produced his first stand-up special in 16 years, Steven Wright: When the Leaves Blow Away. Comedy Central aired Steven Wright: When The Leaves Blow Away a day after its DVD release date, Wednesday, April 24, 2007 at 12AM Eastern. It originally aired on Comedy Central on October 21st, 2006.

In a 2005 poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, he was voted amongst the top 50 comedy acts ever by fellow comedians and comedy insiders. He was named #23 on Comedy Central's list of the 100 greatest standups of all time.
Contents
[hide]

* 1 Selected filmography
* 2 Discography
* 3 References
* 4 External links

[edit] Selected filmography

* The Aristocrats, (2005) as himself
* Coffee and Cigarettes, (2003) as "Steven"
* Loser, (2000) Man in Bar
* The Muse, (1999)
* One Soldier, (1999) (short film)
* Babe: Pig in the City, (1998) as Bob (voice)
* Half Baked, (1998) as "The Guy on the Couch" (uncredited)
* Canadian Bacon, (1995) as Canadian Mounted Police Officer
* Mixed Nuts, (1994) as "Suicidal man at pay phone"
* The Swan Princess, (1994) as Speed (voice)
* Natural Born Killers, (1994) as "Dr. Emil Reingold"
* So I Married an Axe Murderer, (1993) as "Pilot"
* Reservoir Dogs, (1992) (voice only) as "K-Billy DJ"
* The Appointments of Dennis Jennings, (1988) (short film)
* Desperately Seeking Susan, (1985) Larry Stillman D.D.S.

[edit] Discography

* I Have a Pony, Warner Bros. Records CD ( 1985)
* A Steven Wright Special, HBO DVD (1985)
* The Appointments of Dennis Jennings, DVD (1989)
* One Soldier, DVD (1999)
* When the Leaves Blow Away, DVD (2006)

[xkittenxsocksx]

Quotes are for people who cannot express themselves in a coherent manner.

[Shagg]

Wikipedia Crap..

Holy shit.. how dare I forget "The Guy On Couch" in Half-Baked? Such a memorable role! :ahe:

[ArKaiN]

Quotes are for people who cannot express themselves in a coherent manner.

QFT+irony

[azunder]

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an Academy Award-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer from Burlington, Massachusetts. He is known for his slow, deadpan, monotone delivery of ironic, witty, deeply philosophical and sometimes confusing jokes and one-liners with overly contrived situations.


Wait...
...He was an american who understood irony?

Heh, i'm only messing with you, but seriously a large majority of yanks don't understand irony (the same could be said elsewhere tbh). Explains why he's Nano-Famous.

After googling his quotes i came across one i liked (i liked them all): "Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night."

[ArKaiN]

More like "Ass-under" amirite folks

[junglebunny]

no, what the hell are you talking about?

[Shagg]

Wait...
...He was an american who understood irony?


Last time I checked.. we invented irony. Ever hear of the Iraq War? Yeah, I thought so.

[Benjaman]

More like "Ass-under" amirite folks

:ahe:

Steven Wright is awesome.

[Audioslave]

"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
-Robert Benchley

[junglebunny]

Last time I checked.. we invented irony. Ever hear of the Iraq War? Yeah, I thought so.
yeah because irony was invented in 2003 :indiff:

[ArKaiN]

no, what the hell are you talking about?

God dammit, I was picking on Azunder for his epic fail post.
Epic fail on my parody as well apparently.

[CharlieH]

Yeah, but Al Murray is shite.

Mate, your out of your tree.

Al Murray is the funniest pub landlord around.

[Chardon07]

"We live our life's thinking we will never die, We die thinking we never lived" Me~~

[Quadros]

Quotes are for people who cannot express themselves in a coherent manner.

[Cristo]

"We live our life's thinking we will never die, We die thinking we never lived" Me~~

I'm going to steal it, you didn't have copyright muahahahaha.

:indiff:

Favourite quote for me is:

"Life must be lived forwards but understood backwards" -Søren Kirkegaard. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Søren_Kierkegaard)

[danthelegend]

Yeah, but Al Murray is shite.

Thats a lie if I ever heard one. His podcast was really funny. His stand up stuff is a bit odd, admittedly.

[Riddlebox]

Oh, right so as a non-US national I'm a faggot for not knowing someone semi-famous within the States. Right I see. Ok, then you're a faggot for not knowing who Jimmy Carr, Bill Bailey and Russel Howard from the UK are.

What's really funny about that is that I know who they all are. Jimmy Carr is too mellow really. His delivery is good though.

Steven wright isn't really that funny. Stephen Lynch is though. Mitch Hedberg, and Demetri Martin as well.

[Chardon07]

This thread sucks. i have no clue whats going on.

[Casalen]

Quotes are for people who cannot express themselves in a coherent manner.

That's signature material if I ever saw it.

[KoЯn fЯeaK]

hes an ok comedian i guess my fav quote is:

"i fell asleep in somebodys satellite dish... and my dreams were broadcast all over the world"

but my favorite comedian is Richard Jeni, but unfortunatly he died in march 2007, may he rest in peace.

[Wyatt]

Why the fuck isn't this dumped?