How not to sell a game. Or a console, for that.

[Tempest]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx_Cdc4WkG0

Okay, this is absolutely bad. This is apparently Nintendo's version of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and it makes me want to die inside. Basically, you act like you're blowing your wii-remote (or having an aneurysm attack), and you press all the buttons as fast as you can, and a cacophony of ass-juice cocktail is what your ears are treated to. The good news is, at least you can look like a complete retard while you do it. It's a good idea in theory, executed horribly by completely random button-mashing and wii-mote manipulating. And yes, you don't get a 'free play' mode, you have to play their own songs, but variations on how shitty you are at pressing buttons is how you really make the Donkey Kong theme your own.

[NVM]

Yeah Myamoto basically said this was a toy rather than a game.
God damn Nintendo, this will probably sell millions while my wii collects the dust.

[Hickabod]

Haven't you guys seen Ultimate Band yet? Thats what would happen if Disney and Nintendo made Rock Band. I kid you not.

[opn4bzns]

If Nintendo think a game in which you can only play Nintendo songs is going to be anywhere near as popular as Guitar Hero they are deluded. A lot of fanboys on the internet will jerk off over it but it's really not going to have mass market appeal.

Edit: I take my deeply offensive statement back, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is in the game! Fuck Rock Band 2's 84 songs, Wii Music is now far superior.

[Alcoholic]

If Nintendo think a game in which you can only play Nintendo songs is going to be anywhere near as popular as Guitar Hero they are deluded. A lot of fanboys on the internet will jerk off over it but it's really not going to have mass market appeal.

Edit: I take my deeply offensive statement back, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is in the game! Fuck Rock Band 2's 84 songs, Wii Music is now far superior.

They have Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? Oh, the shit just hit the fan for Rock Band! Is the button pressing seriously random? There's no structure at all to the game? If I'm understanding this correctly, you get the same outcome in the game, regardless of what you do, as you felate a video game controller?

[MrDoctor]

It doesn't matter what Nintendo puts out for the Wii. If it has anything related to their main franchises even if its just songs from them it sell. They could package horse crap and market it as interactive Metroid goo and it would sell.

[I_Smell]

The Wiimote actually acts as over 60 instruments in the game, including a barking dog and a karate man that shouts different variants of HUH HYAH HOOOOO!! when you press the buttons.

I think it's great that there's no prompt onscreen to tell you when you're supposed to press anything or what you're supposed to press.
The part where they perform the Mario theme is hillarious.
I also love that the facial expressions of the Miis never change. Even when they are playing saxaphones.

When they're doing the Mario theme, that guy in the background is still playing drums with the Wii Fit board even though the Wii only supports 4 controllers at once. He does seem to be enjoying himself though.

[Clerlic]

So basically it's a game where you listen to shitty music and press random buttons? MAN I MUST GET A WII RIGHT NOW! not.

[spaj]

You can't compare this game to Rock Band or Guitar Hero...

[Tweek]

You aren't the boss of me.

[Mirrorman]

So basically it's a game where you listen to shitty music and press random buttons? MAN I MUST GET A WII RIGHT NOW! not.

It's guitar hero for the mentally handicapped.

[hoopymo]

Every nintendo has a game like this for the kids for example pokemon snap.

Maybe they need some time to think for a great game by next year... (I hope for a new Pikmin, Kirby, and StarFox game the most.)

[MaxAlcolo]

What the fuck were they thinking ? I really hope they're not trying to compete Guitar Hero and/or Rock Band, because I already see that being a total failure. I've watched some parts of the video, and god damn doesn it look boring. I don't think I would even rent that shit.

[Chaplin]

I like when he bends over and looks stupid playing it. And the people at the end could not play the Mario song for their lives.

It's gonna be Wii's next million dollar game.

[spaj]

Keep in mind the Wii constantly aims to be family friendly. Guitar Hero and Rock Band isn't ("oh no, my kids are listening to hardcore rockers like Aerosmith!!!!" - etc). Of course WiiMusic is going to look like GH-turned-flaming homosexual.

[Alcoholic]

If they market this as a "toy" like NVM says, at least that would be a little more acceptable, but that would beg the question: why not jsut get toy instruments that actually produce some sort of sound, to help children (or retarded adult Wii-players) realize that an instruments sound relies on your particular performance. Fuck.

Next Wii game: Felatio Sim 2010

[Hawke]

Yeah, this game looks like Shit. Wii Sports: good, it was an easy way to pick and up and play a simple game. Wii Fit: Good, easy way to exercise (and somewhat unique with that balance board) Wii Play: I never did play it, but I assume it was atleast half way decent, even if it did have kind of boring games on it.

Wii Music: What the fuck? People, this is a toy, no doubt about it. If this had some indication as to what button to press and when, yeah, it'd be a puzzle game. But this is just 'press A button to make a sound' "Press B button to make a sound". That sounds like a toy to me. It reminds me of an electric piano, when you pick one of those prerecorded songs they have; when the piano plays it it highlight the right keys to pick to play, but you can just hit any old key and get the right notes.

But then again, whose to say it will be bad? Sure, since it has no goal, no exact notes to play, no anything, it won't hold adults attention very long (except maybe that Wii drum thing where you can play a full drum set) But kids will probably love this game. All they would have to do is hold down a button to get music to play, and play their favorite tunes!

[junglebunny]

Yeah why is everyone shitting there pants about this? Don't buy it if you don't want it.

It's going to sell anyways.

[BKS]

Yeah why is everyone shitting there pants about this? Don't buy it if you don't want it.

It's going to sell anyways.


Thats what we are complaining about.

[Matterialize]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx_Cdc4WkG0


Miyamoto was doing okay on his own, but then they all started playing the Mario theme. That was without a doubt the gayest performance I've ever seen on television.

I'll still probably buy it, but I won't be playing it with anyone whose friendship I value.

[Akvod]

Did anyone else think that the room was awkwardly silent? Including the clap?

[Alcoholic]

Somebody in the room had the clap?
Look, if Japanese people find it incredibly exciting, chances are that all the people like me in the world will nod, maybe shrug out of courtesy, and walk off.

I even tried Dance Dance Revolution, got good at it, and all that, which makes you look outright retarded. Yep, I enjoyed it, but knew the entire time I looked like a dildo queen playing it. This Wii nonsense is beyond the stupid I am willing to incur.