Haikus

[jontheninja]

Share your haikus, guys.
I will rate them on a scale,
It's from one to ten.

[Ercoledi]

This is a new thread,
It is all about haikus,
I think i will post.

[jontheninja]

It's relevant, but otherwise meaningless.

3/10

[JW]

The snow slowly falls,
It's early morning, winter.
The perfect landscape.

Just a quick try.

[Ercoledi]

I got a bad score,
Because mine was meaningless,
Screw you you asshole.

---

"I do my job well",
But my companion just stares,
For I'm his killer.

[MusicalIdiot]

I only know one,
but it does not make much sense.
Hippopotomus.

[Ercoledi]

I feel very sad,
Wiping the blood off my cock,
"I'm sorry mummy".

[jontheninja]

I got a bad score,
Because mine was meaningless,
Screw you you asshole.

---

"I do my job well",
But my companion just stares,
For I'm his killer.
Calm down, bitchass girl.
It is not my fault it sucked.
The other was good.

[Hyperbole]

This is a gay thread.
I would rather shoot myself,
Than write a poem.
(shit)

[Dodger]

Oh how love taunts me!
Constantly fleeting, it mocks.
Eh, hand is still good.


Procrastination,
Murderer of most great minds.
Newgrounds is the shit.


O, Research Papers.
Creativity killers.
Shakespeare would've failed.

[jontheninja]

I give up grad yourselfs

[Dodger]

Grade me asshole.

[Ercoledi]

We will not grade you,
Poetry is subjective,
Where poop becomes art.

[Dodger]

I seek approval.
Poetry is my last hope.
Yours sucked, by the way.

[LaPhBu]

If you don't grade this,
I will e-bully you and,
you will not like it.

[JW]

Haikus aren't just talking like you're doing. They should be good.

Now grade me, Jon. I put some effort into that.

[jontheninja]

JW it seems derivative, like I've seen it a hundred times before. I mean, it's good, but it's nothing spectacular. I could do the same thing.

Raindrops kiss my lips,
Open hands, umbrella falls,
Sky and I embrace.

[jontheninja]

Oh how love taunts me!
Constantly fleeting, it mocks.
Eh, hand is still good.


Procrastination,
Murderer of most great minds.
Newgrounds is the shit.


O, Research Papers.
Creativity killers.
Shakespeare would've failed.
I like the first one but the last line seems cramped. Like the rest of the haiku is all eloquent but then it transforms into neanderthal wording in the last part.

The second one kind of blows. Procrastination is a good subject, but the execution of it just is bleeeeeeeeh. What I would have done is like
"Procrastination,
I'll just write the rest later,
..."

The last one is great, I like how it's an ode and how it shows just how hard the research papers are. The last line makes it, portraying the theme of the whole poem. I think you could change up the second line a little bit to make it all fit together as one cohesive whole. I think the reason the second part stands out is because it uses such hard sounds, it's like CCCCREATIVITY KKKKKILLERS. The rest of the poem has a softer sound and that one line just needs to be a bit softer as well.

[Mobius]

I'm strumming along,
playing passionately now.
No one will listen.

My heart is racing.
Leaping, rooftop to rooftop.
The thrill of the hunt.

[Haggis McSpud]

The sea calmly sways,
Swirling and soaking me as,
I stand by the shore.

[BeneBreadstick]

stop daddy I'm sore,
"i just need to cum once more"
I faint from blood loss

This is very true
I have a huge vagina.
What am I to do?

[Alcoholic]

Flaccid for three days
How it sits and congeals there
I speak of Jell-O

[Bayview05]

Fuck this stupid thread
Anyone can make haikus
Haikus are easy

[Assaulted_Peanut]

I stared blankly at
The red blood where it once stood
The bitch bit it off
:wail:

[tunacake]

Once upon a time,
There was an awesome ninja.
His name was not Jon.

[Godly]

Run bitch, run fast bitch
I'm gonna catch up to you, see
You're in my world now

[Shmuh]

Mac and Cheese, I came.
Can't tell the sauce from my jizz.
I eat anyway.

[Audioslave]

This thread sucks and I refuse to tell you in haiku. :mad:

[Dodger]

I like the first one but the last line seems cramped. Like the rest of the haiku is all eloquent but then it transforms into neanderthal wording in the last part.

The second one kind of blows. Procrastination is a good subject, but the execution of it just is bleeeeeeeeh. What I would have done is like
"Procrastination,
I'll just write the rest later,
..."

The last one is great, I like how it's an ode and how it shows just how hard the research papers are. The last line makes it, portraying the theme of the whole poem. I think you could change up the second line a little bit to make it all fit together as one cohesive whole. I think the reason the second part stands out is because it uses such hard sounds, it's like CCCCREATIVITY KKKKKILLERS. The rest of the poem has a softer sound and that one line just needs to be a bit softer as well.

I was just kind of kidding.
And that was the joke of the first one.

[Ureshii]

Zombie Haiku time?

Blood is really warm
It's like drinking hot chocolate
But with more screaming
........
Everything I thought
tasted alot like chicken
really tastes like man
........
The taste of liver
is hard to get of the tongue
but spleen does the trick.

[Metalhead636]

Explosm dot com.
A site for comics and fun.
Except for shitty threads.


By the way, my friend
Regarding that last haiku,
This thread is not lame.

[LaPhBu]

This thread sucks and I
refuse to do the haiku.
Author: Audioslave

I did it for you.

[Metalhead636]

I did it for you.

Beautiful!
:yes:

[tunacake]

Author: Audioslave is 6 syllables.

[Matterialize]

So is this:

Except for shitty threads.


You guys suck at counting.

[Haggis McSpud]

This line has five counts,
While this one here has six.
Whose really counting?

[jontheninja]

How did this even get here.

[Haggis McSpud]

Magic.

[tunacake]

This line has five counts,
While this one here has seven.
Whose really counting?

[tunacake]

How did this even get here.

Rob deemed it worthy.

[Haggis McSpud]

Here! You don't see me screwing with your Haikus! :mad:

[LaPhBu]

Here! You don't see me
screwing with your Haikus! :mad:
Author is Haggis

:mad: is a syllable :hmm:

[Cocktapus]

Haikus only need
to follow the syllable
rule when in Chinese.

[Haggis McSpud]

:mad: is a syllable :hmm:

I would retaliate, but I can't even pronounce LaPhBu :mad:

[LaPhBu]

Laugh, Boo?

[Dodger]

Haikus only need
to follow the syllable
rule when in Chinese.

You are a moron.
That is not the only rule.
One sentence per line.

[jontheninja]

Dear Artful Dodger,
Your picture is from Doctor
Mcninja, yes yes?

[WoeStorm]

I know a number.
1877
It has four digits.

[Metalhead636]

I dare someone here,
To speak in haikus all day.
Just try to do it.

[Ikin]

I know a number.
1877
It has four digits.

WoeTempest, you don't
Know how to write haikus very
Well. Please learn how to.

Actually, that wasn't very good either.

[Ercoledi]

No, you prononuce it:
"eighteen seventy seven"
WoeTempest is right.

[Metalhead636]

No, you prononuce it:
"eighteen seventy seven"
WoeTempest is right.

When I say this, sir.
I will be speaking for Woe.
Touché my good sir. :mmyes:

[Ikin]

No, you prononuce it:
"eighteen seventy seven"
WoeTempest is right.

Now I feel stupid.
Perhaps I should leave this thread.
Bye, poets of Explosm.


Crap, is Explosm two syllables or three?

[Ercoledi]

It's certainly not one.

[Metalhead636]

Now I feel stupid.
Perhaps I should leave this thread.
Bye, poets of Explosm.


Crap, is Explosm two syllables or three?

Either way your post is a fail.

[LaPhBu]

Ex-Plaw-Zm is how I pronounce it.

[Metalhead636]

We should ask a mod
How you pronounce the sites name
Then we all will know.

[LaPhBu]

Why a mod, I ask?
An admin would be better
you are a dumb shit.

[Metalhead636]

I am sorry friend
You are right about the mod
An admin will do

[LaPhBu]

I accept your sorry
But now, I must say goodbye
For Fallout awaits

[Bayview05]

Hey LaPhBu, stop playing.
Video games rot your mind.
Post on the forum.

[Grunka-Lunka]

I bought some pink pants.
Look like gay aquaman pants.
I got a swirly.

I also got an F in English/Language arts.

[LaPhBu]

I post in this thread
In a haiku styled format
So I can post boost

:hmm:

[miimii]

I just love child porn
Rudd don't take my internet
Vote no censorship!

[Bayview05]

I watched Sweeney Todd.
It had incredible gore.
I feel so emo. :wail:

[LaPhBu]

Censorship = 3 syllables. That Haiku failed.

[Grunka-Lunka]

Little cats in hats.
On my calendar pages.
I love all of them.

=)

[Bayview05]

Man this movie's great.
I don't know why I think so.
It has so much blood.

[Metalhead636]

I just watched Heroes
It was purely epic, man
I do love Heroes

[Bayview05]

Why is that any good?
It is dead boring to me.
Heroes sucks big balls.

[Metalhead636]

When did you watch it?
Only watch it if you saw
All the episodes.

[Battery Patient Xib]

Haikus are quite gay.
I did one in the fourth grade.
About a tiger.

[Bayview05]

That's nice BXP.
Do you happen to have it?
I love old haikus.

[Metalhead636]

I did a haiku.
It was in my sixth grade class.
It had a hippo.

[Battery Patient Xib]

No I dont have it.
Because Im not a loser.
That keeps fourth grade crap.

[Metalhead636]

I have my haiku.
The one from the sixth grade
The cool hippo one.

[Bayview05]

I don't see why not.
You should keep your memories.
They're entertaining. (usually)

[Metalhead636]

That's why I kept mine.
It's really fun to look at.
I loved the sixth grade

[tunacake]

Jon did not notice
That I called him not awesome.
I feel unfulfilled.

[Battery Patient Xib]

My haiku making
has not improved much at all
over these past years

[tunacake]

My fingers now hurt
From counting the syllables.
Cause I suck at count

[tunacake]

ing

[Metalhead636]

You forgot something
The suffix that is called -ing
Learn English as well

[Souldrinker]

My penis is short
Shorter than your tiny dick
But it still spurts jizz

[miimii]

fuck you cunty cunt
you just a bitch ass nigga
motha fuckin bitch

[miimii]

Most muslims agree
The Yusuf Ali Qur'an
Is reliable

[triibus]

the storm is over
all of the dreams are broken
yet there is still hope

[Mr. Wink]

mr_wink is my name
A jellyfish avatar
Does not make much sense

[jameswatt123]

One two three four five
Six seven eight nine ten is
How to count to ten

In case you didn't know

[Alphawolf29]

My Computer


My dark room haunted
By the fluorescent light of
This Ungodly Machine.

[Souldrinker]

My Underwear

My dick is haunted
By the flourescent light of
My Ungodly Smegma

[WoeStorm]

My name's WoeTempest.
People reply to my posts.
But I don't notice. :wail:

[FoeoftheUniverse]

Haiku's are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

[FoeoftheUniverse]

fuck you cunty cunt
you just a bitch ass nigga
motha fuckin bitch
i love u

[Bayview05]

fuck you cunty cunt
you just a bitch ass nigga
motha fuckin bitch

You must be gangsta
Stop playing Gran Theft Auto
Motherfucking Bitch

[Oofie]

Haiku's are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Haikus are easy
so why would you bother to
steal a real oldie?

[Bayview05]

She's (He's) not creative
Just make up your own haiku
Stop stealing others

[miimii]

You must be gangsta
Stop playing Gran Theft Auto
Motherfucking Bitch

Bitch you be trippin'
Talkin that shit on my set
Y'all gon' get clapped up

[WoeStorm]

Talking with haikus
Is increasingly easy.
I want a challenge.

[Bayview05]

Bitch you be trippin'
Talkin that shit on my set
Y'all gon' get clapped up

Shut up ya busta
Grove Street 4 lyfe, hardcore, nigga!
You gonna get shot

[WoeStorm]

Shut up ya busta
Grove Street 4 lyfe, hardcore, nigga!
You gonna get shot

Count em. :ahe:

[Bayview05]

Grove- 1
Street- 1
4 - 1
life - 1
hardcore - 2
nigga - 1

= 7

:indiff:

[WoeStorm]

Grove- 1
Street- 1
4 - 1
life - 1
hardcore - 2
nigga - 1

= 7

:indiff:

nigg-a. I count two.

[Clerlic]

Green trees lost their life
There is warm goo on my nuts
Time has come. Winter.

[Bayview05]

What is this warm goo?
Is it organic, I hope?
Let me try some out.

[WoeStorm]

I once had a wife.
I felt like ending her life.
So I used a knife.

Sitting in a chair.
Watching posts in a forum.
Perhaps way too much.

[Clerlic]

The taste was not bad
But smell is pleasant barely
Store it for later.

[Bayview05]

Is it Vegemite?
I heard that it is salty
That would be tasty.

[Clerlic]

Sure of that I'm not.
Saltiness is certain, though.
I should patent it?

[FoeoftheUniverse]

All these are stupid
Make up your own damn haikus
nubcakes post this thread

[WoeStorm]

They may be stupid
But they are sure our own.
I'm not a nubcake! :wail:

[FoeoftheUniverse]

You are so wrong, Woe
in the last part of your post
for you are nubcake

[Haggis McSpud]

FoeOfTheUniverse,
Your avatars amuse me,
Naruto is the shizz.

[WoeStorm]

Nubcakes cause cancer.
So nubcake I must not be.
I instead give AIDS.

[Ercoledi]

Study is my woe,
Literature is my thorn.
I'm going to bed.

[Assaulted_Peanut]

I can't believe that
I just read every haiku
I shit on this thread

[Ikin]

Either way your post is a fail.

Oh, fuck me.

[jontheninja]

I don't follow rules.
Especially in this thread.
Wait, Goddammit, fuck.

[Clerlic]

People are insane
Life is nothing but torture
I'll go kill myself

You hear a loud bang
White walls suddenly turn red
I have shot my cat

[jontheninja]

Clerlic I just kept
Imagining Attila
as you killed kitty.

[WoeStorm]

I really don't like
All those depressing haikus.
They make people sad.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

Gross! Here is death’s stink
Nay. ‘Tis the odor of piss
Change its damn diaper

[FoeoftheUniverse]

I like the movie
for my avatar, for it
is hilarious.

[Battery Patient Xib]

Naruto is gay.
And so is your username.
Get the fuck out please.

[John Travolta]

You do suck cock, sir.
Your avatar is gay, sir.
Fuck you.

[John Travolta]

Dicksucker.

[tunacake]

Knock knocketh, I say.
To which you reply "Who's there?"
Little old lady.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

Alas, my picture
has changed, still naruto, though
Get over it...bitch

[CenturyHawk]

I just found this thread
Think I'll have a try at it
It looks pretty fun.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

It is, Mr Hawk
Quite fun indeed, simply five,
seven, then five, done

[CenturyHawk]

five syllables
seven syllables
five syllables

[Bayview05]

I heard a sparrow.
I hear it singing loudly.
I'ma make a pie.

I see a raven.
It is a big and black bird.
It says, "Nevermore."

[WeTPaiNT]

All your haiku's fail. They should be straight on a line. Like the Chinese did.

[Ikin]

All your haiku's fail. They should be straight on a line. Like the Chinese did.

Haikus are Japanese. :facts:

[Bayview05]

Show an example.
How should the haikus be placed?
Appreciated.

[CenturyHawk]

I'm watching a film
some guy just died horribly
it was funny, nigga bitch.

[Tweek]

What the fuck? This entire thread is an excuse to post boost and say nigga a lot.
Fucking idiots.

[CenturyHawk]

Has anyone else
ever shoved dog crap through a
friend's letterbox. penis.

[Metalhead636]

What the fuck? This entire thread is an excuse to post boost and say nigga a lot.
Fucking idiots.

Thats your opinion.
But you should say it like this.
You got that, Mr. Tweek?

[Bayview05]

Thats your opinion.
But you should say it like this.
You got that, Mr. Tweek?

Line 1 - 5
Line 2 - 7
Line 3 - You got that mist-er Tweek? - 6

:ahe:

[TheHighwaySong]

A circlejerk thread.
Isn't that just what this is?
And fuck the police.

[Bayview05]

Unconventional.
This is what the thread is for.
And big post boosts.

[Metalhead636]

All of us have hats.
Most of them are Santa hats.
I will get one too.

[Bayview05]

Get a avatar.
A different one than that.
Not the stock avy.

[1zabest]

My avatar has
no santa hat on its head
I feel left out :'(

Shut the hell up, ":'(" counts as 1 syllable !

[Derelict]

I'm so fucking cool,
You are all inferior,
Fuck your dumb assholes.

[1zabest]

work is so boring
get me out of this place, please
stab me with scissors

[Battery Patient Xib]

I'm baking cookies.
But I am kind of worried about them.
Because they wont brown.

:frown:

[yumyum]

Haiku's make no sence.
The theme is irrelavent.
Refrigerator.

that seems right

[Souldrinker]

I just trimmed my nails
Now I pick my teeth with them
Tasty, tasty nails.

[jameswatt123]

It's early morning
I have school again today
Same shit as usual

[Bayview05]

Now see here, Yum Yum.
That joke has been told before.
You are not funny.

[miimii]

Oh no! What is this?
Damn! Pearly Penile Papules
I do not want them


: (

[Clerlic]

lol lol lol lol lol
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
lol lol lol lol lol

This is art so mods,
Cannot timeout me for lols,
They probably will :(

[Mr. Wink]

that's quite right clerlic,
by the way, nice santa hat
lol lol lol lol lol

the mods should timeout
by making their own haiku,
don't do it to me

please. :hmm:

[WeTPaiNT]

Haikus are Japanese. :facts:
Same angle to the slant of there eyes. :science:

[Ercoledi]

I am offended,
You have dishonoured your name,
Commit seppuku,

[Quadros]

Oh fuck you
You cocks all suck fucking ass
Something natural.

[Souldrinker]

I suck down my smoke
Feel it as it fills my lungs
I feel so handsome.

[Bayview05]

Stop your messing 'round
Time to think of your future
You'll wind up in jail

[1zabest]

I am drinking Coke
Yum yum, sweet and sugary
I'm going to die

[SuEsq]

I like to go fast.
Faster than you'll ever go.
Unless you fly planes.

[whitie_wolf]

Invisible joy
Weaves itself into my soul
I love you caffeine.

[Bayview05]

Circlejerking threads
Like this fucking haiku thread
Really help post boosts.

[Battery Patient Xib]

The lights swarm around
I catch them in a glass jar
Hello lightning bug

[jontheninja]

How about you all
Just go and fuck yourselves in
the asshole, thank you.

[1zabest]

I'm so over this
circlejerk circlejerk splooge
I'm sick of this thread

[LoliHunter]

I made a haiku
I really hope you like it
Too bad it sucks bad.

[Souldrinker]

It sucks bad like you
You're a hopeless troutarse poof
Get cancer and die.

[LoliHunter]

You're a hopeless troutarse poof That totally made sense.

Also try saying that 5 times fast.

[BreakTheWalls]

Breaketh the walls down!
Jericho's new champion
I am very pleased.

[Haggis McSpud]

Dammit Lolihunter!
Your avatar annoys me,
Pedobear fucking sucks.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

This is five right here
Now it is seven I post,
Don't count it Shitfaces

[Haggis McSpud]

This is five right here
Now it is seven I post,
Don't count it Shitfaces

This line has five counts,
While this one here has six.
Whose really counting?

Way to be original. :mad:

[Benjaman]

You are a homo.
I heard it on the street, bro
Want to hook up soon?

[Infinity]

Oh how love taunts me!
Constantly fleeting, it mocks.
Eh, hand is still good.


Procrastination,
Murderer of most great minds.
Newgrounds is the shit.


O, Research Papers.
Creativity killers.
Shakespeare would've failed.I fucking hate it!

[Infinity]

It sucks bad like you
You're a hopeless troutarse poof
Get cancer and die.
Hey...thats not bad. I like it.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

Sorry, Mr. Spud
I didn't know that was there
Please do not rape me

[Cocktapus]

You are a moron.
That is not the only rule.
One sentence per line.

Real Haikus don't
translate into English
with rules intact

[tunacake]

I still wait for Jon
To rate on a scale to ten
Each dreadful haiku.

[WoeStorm]

He will not rate them.
He gave up back on page one.
Lack of commitment.

[Infinity]

Humans in a toilet bowl
My backed up bowels move
All is flushed away forever

[tunacake]

That is the worst haiku I've ever heard. Worse than this one. Fuckyou.

[Benjaman]

Humans in a toilet bowl
My backed up bowels move
All is flushed away forever

Wow you are stupid.
I guess you really don't know
how to write Haiku.

[Haggis McSpud]

Sorry, Mr. Spud
I didn't know that was there
Please do not rape me

That's ok, I know my rugged masculinity can sometimes cause my sensitive side to be overlooked.

(No haiku here.)

[Tastychainsaws]

I am to lazy
to read every post here
so I will post

[miimii]

Aspergers is me
Why do I have all this pain
I just want to live

[SourChicken]

An itch in my ass
I think I will scratch it now
Uh oh I'm bleeding.

EDIT: I didn't know the Haiku Gods had sent an angel down from the heavens above to correct me in the error of my ways. OH THANK YOU DODGER! You have saved me from eternal damnation in the fiery pit of hell! I shall share your lessons with others less fortunate than you and I, and together, we shall rid the world of trivial mistakes in stupid poems that no one even cares about!
My friend!
WE RIDE TO VICTORY!

[Dodger]

Oh my god, guys.

Each line has to be one sentence. You can't break a sentence up into two different lines. You guys are so dumb.

That wasn't one by the way. I'm just posting.

[Bayview05]

This is not spame.
So shut the fuck up FuckYou.
Don't circlejerk here.

[BKS]

Remember the time
When you came on your mom? Wait,
I think that was me

[Clerlic]

Several guys here
Don't know how to count to five.
Or seven sometimes.

[BKS]

I agree, people need to make decent ones.

[Bayview05]

Booted from spame.
Boo Hoo I am really sad.
Make a new forum.

[miimii]

Booted from spame.
Boo Hoo I am really sad.
Make a new forum.

Actually matey.
Four is not the same as five.
Fix the first damn line.



Man I love this shit.
I can now express myself.
But I still feel trapped.

[ButlerBoy]

I can't think of stuff.
My mind is full of nothing.
What a waste of space.

[FoeoftheUniverse]

I don't like Haikus
They make my cranium pop
Please stop this thread, please?

[BreakTheWalls]

Holy Fucking Shit!
Nearing The Two Hundred Mark.
This Has Past Its Prime. :ahe:

[Mr. Wink]

Aspergers is me
Why do I have all this pain
I just want to live

Hey guess what you guys,
miimii has got aspergers
I bet no one knew

[jarmball]

Hey guess what you guys,
miimii has got aspergers
I bet no one knew

And now he is banned
Stupid little crybaby
Keep it to yourself

[Mr. Wink]

Yes he is indeed,
But I have to say jarmball,
Get an avatar

[jarmball]

Ok, done and done
A fetus wearing a hat
Check it out winky

[Mr. Wink]

Thats pretty awesome,
If a bit frigging creepy,
This is a nice chat

[FoeoftheUniverse]

This is still going?
My brain is still gonna pop
five seven five words

[cptlol]

I love semen,
Penis makes semen now,
fap fap fap fap spout.