what the fuck a cockroach just fell into my keyboard

[exetra]

like seriously what the fuck this cockroach just fell from the roof onto my keyboard and now he's hiding inside it WHAT DO I DO?!

[RainbowKermit]

PUT SHOE ON HEAD

[Benjaman]

press down the keys that hes under!

[Tweek]

your keyboard is expendable; your safety is not

[Derelict]

don't use radio activity i heard that doesn't effect them

[InTransit]

eat it for dinner. they're protein and protein is good for you.

[exetra]

okay guys he walked away from the keys but the crisis is not averted because he's standing there staring at me.

i'm considering flicking him but i'm scared of the germs :wail:

also:
PUT SHOE ON HEAD

has anyone ever told you that you're a complete piece of shit who isn't worthy to shine snarf's shoes?

[Quadros]

MASH THE KEYBOARD IN A MAD PANIC INDUCED SIEZURE

[exetra]

or his knob for that matter. EDIT: DAMMIT QUADDY

COCKROACH WON'T MOVE HELP HELP HELP!

[Derelict]

do not pour imulsion on them it will go lambant

[Quadros]

play cockroach golf. any sleeping person's mouth is a hole.

[Tweek]

fuck dont start freaking out just run away

[Tweek]

its not worth the risk

[exetra]

fuck fuck fuck, he's just starting me straight in the eye and wiggling his antennae tentatively

[InTransit]

call the cops!

[exetra]

i have the insecticide spray aimed at him but i'm waiting for him to make the first move

[exetra]

FUCK MAN THIS IS SO TENSE :wail:

[Quadros]

make him your new pet VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER

[Derelict]

have you tried reasoning with him?

[Derelict]

or her, sorry.

[exetra]

FUCK HE CALLED IN BACKUP THERE'S TWO ON THE WALLS EITHER SIDE OF ME

[exetra]

DAMMIT DERELICT IT'S TOO LATE FOR DIPLOMACY

[exetra]

this shit just got REAL

[Quadros]

Hey have you seen that episode of the X-Files where cockroaches start swarming over people and like burrowing into their flesh and then eating them from the inside?

IT COULD BE YOU

[Derelict]

execute plan omnitrack seven

[Derelict]

detonate... the explosive.

[Derelict]

in this scenario, the explosive is actually your foot

[Derelict]

BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO IF SHOE ON HEAD

[exetra]

okay guys here's the situation.

there are five cockroaches, one in front of me on the desk, two on the walls to my left, one on the table behind me and god knows how many in the kitchen to the right. i'm going to have to take them.

if i don't make it... fuck i've never been good at this thing... guys if i don't make it i want you all to know that i love you and the time i've known you guys has been the best of my life.

[exetra]

THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES... BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE... OUR FREEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

[Quadros]

wait what weapon are you using?

[exetra]

CAN'T TALK FENDING OFF COCKROACHES WITH INSECTICIDE

[Ercoledi]

no use; surrender

[Quadros]

that's a pussy weapon grab sharp knives from the kitchen

[exetra]

THE KITCHEN IS TOO FORTIFIED, FRAG OUT!

[Niki]

haha, COCKroach

[Niki]

obviously the solution is to smash it with your penis

[exetra]

i haven't got enough pp to use my penis

[Tweek]

or swallow it with your vagina

[Quadros]

USE A LAMP THEN! SWING THAT MOTHERFUCKER

[Tweek]

dude quick you need to recharge your mana

[Niki]

or maybe you should just clean your house i mean come on ew

[exetra]

MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! MEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!

[exetra]

SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING STIMPAK

[InTransit]

TEABAG HIM!!!!

[Quadros]

I don't know what that is but if you want I can log my lvl 70 resto shaman?

[exetra]

MAXIMUM ARMOUR

[InTransit]

it's when you shove your balls on his face. try it it's fun.

[Dodger]

MELEE WHILE YOU RELOAD!!!

[Dodger]

CROUCH SO THE PPL BEHIND YOU CAN SHOOT!!!

[Dodger]

PUT IT TO SLEEP OR POISON IT FIRST!!!

[exetra]

hahaha i just put a knife in one of them and it was sticking to the wall cause of the knife so i said "stick around" hahaha

[Quadros]

I know what getting teabagged when you're helpless is you act like I've never dated. I meant the whole stimpak thing.

[Quadros]

hahaha i just put a knife in one of them and it was sticking to the wall cause of the knife so i said "stick around" hahaha

actually laughed a little.

then threw up from shame

[Ercoledi]

stimulating package

[Ercoledi]

it's what i call my dick

[exetra]

quaddy take these caps and fast travel to megaton and buy some stimpaks

[exetra]

i'm bleeding... but i don't have time to bleed.

[RainbowKermit]

has anyone ever told you that you're a complete piece of shit who isn't worthy to shine snarf's shoes?

angry in spame itt

[r4tur3]

Here's a solution exetra, man up you faggot.

[exetra]

DUDE I'M GETTING BASE RAPED BY COCKROACHES OF COURSE I'M ANGRY

[Snarfnbarf]

Yeah wtf why my shoes?

[Quadros]

i'm bleeding... but i don't have time to bleed.

...So stimpaks are a type of tampon?

[Snarfnbarf]

Go lick Uresaghsads 's dick

[r4tur3]

And hit them with a pipe

[Snarfnbarf]

THROW A FRAG MAN! IT'S YOUR ONLY CHANCE

[Quadros]

angry in spame itt

erm this is a grown up thread for grown-ups go back to bed thank you

[exetra]

COUNTER-ROACHES WIN

[exetra]

oh my god what have i done

[exetra]

i killed them all... what sort of a monster have i become?

[r4tur3]

Fuck, why are so many people replying in such a sort space of time.

Exetra, man up and hit those cunts with a pipe. Who cares about the computer, there are fucking cockroaches.

[Ercoledi]

if you read the thread, R4TUR3, you would have known that they are NOWHERE NEAR HIS COMPUTER jesus...

[exetra]

STOP IT! STOP IT! THEY'RE ALREADY DEEAAAADDD :wail:

[Quadros]

i killed them all... what sort of a monster have i become?

War changes a man

[Ercoledi]

their blood will haunt you in your dreams

[exetra]

is this the glory of the battle? the triumph of a victorious siege? i have slain millions of roach fathers, sons and husbands... and for what? for nothing.

[exetra]

War changes a man

LOOK AT ME! I AM MORE DEMON THAN MAN, QUADDY :wail:

[Quadros]

their blood will haunt you in your dreams

Never another restful sleep
I'll forever be by your side.
In life you're victim, death your bride.
My memory will haunt you
when you're awake or asleep
because...

I'm dead, I'm dead
my life is life no more
I'm dead, I'm dead
your bullets cut into my flesh
Woah oh, woah oh, woah oh
Your cluster bombs ripped me to shreds
Woah oh, woah oh, woah oh

[RainbowKermit]

post pics of the slain to honour them

[Ercoledi]

fuck everyone, quaddy's gone emo on us

[Quadros]

LOOK AT ME! I AM MORE DEMON THAN MAN, QUADDY :wail:

Brb getting an exorcist

[exetra]

no kermit i can't let their families see them like this. they need to be remembered as roaches of valour and courage, not a mass of wretched corpses cluttering the landscape of my living room.

[Quadros]

fuck everyone, quaddy's gone emo on us

Dude that's anti flag

Plus you know the rule if someone posts a lyric I recognise I'm duty bound to finish the song

[exetra]

THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN AGAIN

[Ercoledi]

i'm blue ba ba de ba

[Quadros]

no kermit i can't let their families see them like this. they need to be remembered as roaches of valour and courage, not a mass of wretched corpses cluttering the landscape of my living room.

build a memorial out of empty cans and take away boxes

[Ercoledi]

once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark

[RainbowKermit]

they fought hard and well, give them a proper funeral :salute:

[exetra]

okay now that we have that crisis averted, who wants ice cream?

[Niki]

Dude that's anti flag

Plus you know the rule if someone posts a lyric I recognise I'm duty bound to finish the song

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEE

[Quadros]

I don't go to gay bars dude this won't work.

[exetra]

RELAX, DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANNA COME TO IT

[Quadros]

I'm only aware of some 80s rap and punk/ska (some combination thereof)

[Quadros]

Oh and motherfucking Journey

[Ercoledi]

Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!

[Niki]

TAAAAAAAAKE

[Niki]

ONNNNNNNNNNNN

[Niki]

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Quadros]

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEE

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OOOOOOOOOOONNNN

(TAKE. ON. ME.)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'LL

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUURS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Niki]

.. that was beautiful

[Ercoledi]

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEE

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OOOOOOOOOOONNNN

(TAKE. ON. ME.)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'LL

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUURS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
/
http://forums.explosm.net/image2.php?u=5981&dateline=1232280465

[Tweek]

dont anti flag suck?

[Quadros]

not as much as YOUR MOTHER

[Tweek]

i thought the lyrics were like, 'i'll be gone in a day or two'
and then sometimes they say 'in a week' instead

[Quadros]

well you would because you're gay

we straight people hear differently

[Ercoledi]

wait did I quote a song originally?

[Quadros]

you said something which roughly fitted a line from 'Id tell you but...' by Anti Flag

[Ercoledi]

pretty sure they stole it from me

[Niki]

quadros you know you should have known the first one i posted seeing as it was simple plan and all

[Quadros]

I WILL NOT DIS RESPECT SIMPLE PLAN BY RE-SINGING THEIR BEAUTIFUL, DEEP LYRICS IN MY UNPERFECT VOICE SO JUST STOP!!!

[Niki]

BUT YOU HAVE TO THEY REALLY GET ME YOU KNOW THEY MAKE ME FEEL THINGS AND STUFF

[Quadros]

I NO RITE? THEY'FRE ALL LIKE 'I'M JUST A KID' AND I'M LIKE 'WOW ME TOO WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON MARRY ME' and then they're like 'no' and i hang myself

[Niki]

YEAH I KNOW AND THEY DONT EVEN MAKE ME FEEL THINGS AND STUFF, SOMETIMES ITS EVEN STUFF AND THINGS THEY MAKE ME WANT TO LIIIIIVE

[Quadros]

but my shitty belt broke and i just fell and knocked myself unconscious and then my mum finds me with my trousers down (because i used my belt to hang myself) and my belt round my neck and she assumes I was doing that asphyxiation masturbation thing and now i'm in counselling 3 times a week

[Niki]

http://forums.explosm.net/image2.php?u=5981&dateline=1232280465

[Ercoledi]

also it's called erotic asphyxiation

:rolleyes:

[Quadros]

is that why Tranny's closet hanger rail is all bent and shit?

[Niki]

also it's called erotic asphyxiation

:rolleyes:

*autoerotic asphyxiation

[r4tur3]

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world...

[Niki]

thats what i heard on tv but i dont see what it has to do with cars

[Quadros]

btw this thread was the most fun I've had in spame in like a year. I remember when every thread was this fun :(

[Ercoledi]

no i just put things into my anus for jollies

[Quadros]

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world...

SHE TOOK THE MIGNIGHT TRAIN GOIN' AN-EE-WHEEEEEERRRE

Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

(chorus)

Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people

[Niki]

no i just put things into my anus for jollies

you and me both, brother

[Niki]

meaning i also put things in your anus

[Niki]

ALSO THERE IS NO SOUTH DETROIT UGH THERES EAST AND WEST UUUGHHH

[Ercoledi]

don't call me 'brother' or this putting things in my anus thing might start sounding wrong.

[Niki]

just makes it feel more right to me :heya:

[exetra]

i lied about the cockroaches guys i faked the whole thing

[exetra]

i'm so ashamed how can i look you guys in the eye again. i'm never gonna live this down.

[exetra]

btw this thread was the most fun I've had in spame in like a year. I remember when every thread was this fun :(

OH MY GOD MAN WAY TO MAKE THIS DECEPTION LOOK EVEN WORSE :wail:

[Ercoledi]

exetra can't take all the heat for this; i was in on it too :wail:

[exetra]

no man i can't let you go down with me. think of the kids

[exetra]

you can go down on me though. anytime.

[Ercoledi]

i sent the kids to aunt mabe in darwin. we're gonna get through this together, baby

[exetra]

I GOTTA GET THRU THIS (http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-rfgWeomd0A)

[Ercoledi]

i like him better than his sister tbh

[Laurence]

omg dudez fa;shbomb those roaches lolzzzz

oh wait did i miss all that shit?

[Laurence]

you guys are funny

[Laurence]

oh exetra i feel for you would you like me to make you a casserole and send it to you to help you through this difficult time? that is the solution to everything after all

[Snarfnbarf]

What kind of fag cooks for another guy?

[FoeoftheUniverse]

the fag that's in a cannibalistic relationship with another fag

[Lag]

whoa man, the shit train hit this thread hard in the last few posts

[BKS]

We can forgive you if you do it again, only better.

[exetra]

i don't think it gets much better than pages 1 to 3