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CnGy
03-31-2009, 11:46 PM
I have to do this and I don't know how I'm going to remember it.

And it sucks.

Enjoy

Miss Adelle Adieu is an old lady. She speaks to death now, as she in general terms, goes batshit insane.

Oh now darling, let's have a seat. Right here's just fine, on this spot of earth. Well, how have you been convulsing the agendas of the sycophants and ending the progress of the infinite amounts of the popularly intellectual apartheid and vehement public tangents of reticent dissonance.

How do you do, you know me, my name is Miss Adelle Adieu. I suppose you would like to know a little bit about me.

As early as three I was plagued with the age-old disease of curiosity. Looking, searching, running, hiding, tagging, day dreaming, music screaming, house-hold cleaning, dog walking, gossip talking, philosophically musing, gradually becoming a person of whimsical proportions.

Finding the meaning in life through simple things. You know?

When I was six I absolutely adored walking my dog Jeffory, down the forest paths in my skip-de-doo step-father's voracious vacation home on the beaches of France, the country of my heart, I had many countries, I had many hearts. Indeed the lessons of my parents, like our travels, often transcended the trivial virtues of traditional free thinkers. We were a family of free spirits, forced to bind our fiery souls down our fated trajectory. My swim down the stream of life was rubbled with rocks and rapid brooks of fishy fates and bear enemies.

I was fast to grow, that much was certain, one of my main goals was always the grandest human pursuit of earthly knowledge, the most terrible scientific vice. I managed to rise through the social hierarchy of the schools and of the many cliques and friendless societies with the utmost ease. People were puppets, they are puppets. It might be granulated from the fact that I was indeed a looker, and I was in the most definite sense of the word. And as such, it never entered into my goal in life to be attractive, or popular, I just was. It was a mere variable that I could use to achieve much grander, devious goals.

So many goals, so little time. If I must through with death sir, in the most mortal of ways, an organization most keen to the mind, a grouping of three, three goals for me, three goals for this life of mine, three goals that sum up all of this wonderful. The first of these suckers is goal number one, and it is important.

To understand my world, my environment. If you don't know what's around you, you're going to miss out and find o yourself behind in no time.

A common first step in this is a correctly appropriated domicile. Good trimmings and a truly intelligent design. And what does every home need, why a good pet of course.

I remember for instance one with Jeffory I had come to a clearing in the woods. Something happened and Jeffory came loose from my grip and ran right out into the very field! I of course ran after him, long wet grass grabbed at my boots and fog clouded my glasses. And then I came to see Jeffory, placed between two brushings of grassy weeds on a soft spot of soil, quietly licking the dead head of a racoon. It was stark save for one eye. That eye looked at me and I could feel the cold clutches of your grasp. You were there.

You did your job well. How is Jeffory? He's been dead for so long..

I know. I'm sure he's fine. That's just the way the world is. JFK and Hitler, Roosevelt and Stalin, from depression to recession, funeral procession to wedding reception. I've traveled through the world and it isn't pretty sir. No matter if in Bangladesh or Los Angeles, Tokyo freeway or New York strip mall. Alaska wild or Amazonian tropical. I've seen it all, mostly.

My people? The human race? They've been forever in place, ancient mystical knowledge in awaits me, though I have no avarice, there are a few iotas of pride. Anyways, onto my second spire of aspiration, to understand myself.

My ethics, the core of my being, my code of values, stem from a vast investment in the contrived progression of knowing myself and maintaining my self image.

Even as a young child, when someone stormed my castle in the sandbox, I knew that the response must be to declare war! This was possibly of course a model behavior influenced by the strict tutelage of my army uncle Emanuel Adieu. Captain of the seas, he sailed the high waves until he died. He was strangled by the sailing ropes, his body swung in the wind for hours tangled in the lines before they could cut him down to throw him away to his watery grave. Death, a sacrifice, or the deepest of reliefs?

Ah, such is goal numero tres, Monsieur Macabre. To know that which is unknown. I cannot in good faith say that this is a realistic goal of any sort. A vain fantasy! But I can now indeed reconcile with this status. What I cannot know cannot harm me. To not necessarily know but accept all of life's many intricacies, that is the only real goal.

Acceptance of the infinite.

And n ow, to go with you sir angel of the fatal door.

Hello, sweet Death. Goodbye Life no more.

So how much did it suck?

flicky
04-01-2009, 6:58 PM
It wasn't worth reading, but the damage has been done. I have learnt never to read a french woman's story/monologue or whatever the fuck that was, unless its about a french whore. Then it might be interesting.

CnGy
04-05-2009, 11:11 AM
That bad huh.

Audioslave
04-05-2009, 3:54 PM
Shut the fuck up, flicky.

It wasn't bad. I mean it won't be on sale at Sotheby's for millions, but it's better than 75% of the crap that gets posted online.

The two largest problems are that it is really, really forced. It's like you sat down and said "I want to have one line where she lists off a bunch of big words and I want her to recollect a bunch of random stories." I know the temptation, I do it all the time. The problem is that it feels really unnatural. It also causes you to become very confined and it leads to the second problem, which is that your story had no sort of moral ending. Before one dies, they reflect on their lives and come to some sort of conclusion, at least in literature anyway. It feels like you want to tell a bunch of little stories in the context of a pre-death experience when you should be relating a central idea to snapshots of time in the person's life.

Your word choice also destroys the flow at times.

CnGy
04-05-2009, 11:24 PM
I hate it I'm going to write something completely different I think.

I didn't even show my friend because I hated it so much.

I should write it to write it then and not write it to get it over with. Which is what I didd.

Fucking school.

CnGy
04-08-2009, 3:18 PM
Unfinished new version.

There is an elderly woman perusing an art gallery just before close, she is the last person and is alone in a room full of portraits. She carries a purse and a glass of wine.

Why hello sky captain of the painted veil. Your hauteur ought not to interfere with your reputation, you don’t have to worry about what people think. Or the vain incumbency that comes from even knowing someone. You need only be concerned with your posture and your image. Quite a fine one I must say as well.

She takes something out of her purse, a container, pops open a pill bottle and drops one in the wine bottle. It fizzles.

I simply love things that fizzle.

Takes a sip of wine voraciously.

I once took a nice trip out to Bermuda on a darling of a dory. Ah, like a statue of the seas. I love those things.

I love most things. I love all things, oh my. Waves and clouds. Bees and birds and bears and baseball and billy goats and beef stew.

Oh what foods you miss out on. Oh sir, I do not mean to brag on what vivaciously delicious vittles I’ve been vital to peck at, and nor do I mean to twitter upon your audile senses. Nor can I you have none! No disrespect that is.

She takes a step back from the painting and with swift movement opens and eats some crackers and cheese she had stuffed in her pockets from earlier. Even though no one is around she looks around to make sure no one noticed that she had stolen them.

Mhmm mmm mmm. How tasty a tummy I have stuffed with yummy crunchy crackers. Only go for the multigrain my friends or your bowels will regret it!

Another melodramatic sip, it is as if she is giving a performance for the portraits.

Don’t look at me you scoundrels! You don’t know me! You don’t know who I am or where I’ve been.

You don’t know what I’ve done.

Another sip.

You look like more of a gentlemen, I’d like to talk to you. Why don’t you come and sit down.

She blows a kiss towards the painting and leans up against the wall next to it.

It is a lovely gallery don’t you agree? I bet you don’t get to see it like this.

[/i]Another sip.[/i]

You stiff ass!

She steps back.

What’s that? How dare you judge me, I never did anything to you. I always appreciated coming to see you every weekend. I even still came when they started charging and attendance dropped dramatically.

That was our time together. Our romantic moments, that kiss we had?

Don’t forget about the staring contests. You always won.

....

Godly
04-10-2009, 2:00 PM
Much better, this one actually has more of a story line. Since you give the audience some real story to follow then they can actually get into what she's saying as opposed to just listening to what the words are.
Some parts are still a bit odd, more because they don't add anything pertinent to the monologue then anything else. When writing a monologue you have to make sure that everything you put into it is relevant, that's how you should write for theatre. But all in all, this is tons better then the first one.

flicky
04-15-2009, 5:55 AM
Yeah that one was a lot better. Still pointlessly long words and descriptions words here and there, but that probably what you were going for