The_Solipsist
05-06-2009, 1:10 PM
Just a short musing. This is part of a larger project, so elements are missing, but you should get the idea. Anyways, critique, if you would:
As we walked along the side of the river, her shrill baritone gave me a startle. O how lovely is this weather, so gray, so massive, so heavy. Feels like I've walked into concrete and straight on through.
Her voice was pensive and deliberate, as though she actually felt this. She would conjecture like this, and I would listen- to the best of my ability, which, most of the time, meant little, if at all. I asked if she had ever considered what seeing things in the sunlight might show. Looking up I saw that my remark had made not a single dent in her defiance.
The mud became thicker further down the river, so we walked up the bank and onto a hill. We lay on the grass, soft and sifting, and continued our lopsided dialogue.
As we walked along the side of the river, her shrill baritone gave me a startle. O how lovely is this weather, so gray, so massive, so heavy. Feels like I've walked into concrete and straight on through.
Her voice was pensive and deliberate, as though she actually felt this. She would conjecture like this, and I would listen- to the best of my ability, which, most of the time, meant little, if at all. I asked if she had ever considered what seeing things in the sunlight might show. Looking up I saw that my remark had made not a single dent in her defiance.
The mud became thicker further down the river, so we walked up the bank and onto a hill. We lay on the grass, soft and sifting, and continued our lopsided dialogue.