Astronaut

[Astronaut]

Dreaming the life, he loses pieces of himself. The world revolves around how it perceives you. Knowing all he ever did wrong was care. Quietly in orbit, understanding his role as the pinnacle of human technology and equally understanding he is the absolute lack of human contact. It's easy to view the world for what it is from out there. Holding an open palm underneath the earth he wraps his fingers around nothing. Weightless is not burdenless... if only.

[Laurence]

I like it. I guess I can try and make some constructive points, one being that you misspelled 'burdenless', but that's hardly important. The other is that the sentence "Knowing all he ever did wrong was care." seems a little out of place and it doesn't seem to flow as well as the rest.

Also, was "It's easy to view the world for what it is from out there" meant to be "out here" instead? I couldn't quite work out if it was the astronaut referring to Earth, in which case "down there" might work better, or if it was supposed to be from the perspective of someone on Earth referring to the astronaut.

[Astronaut]

I haven't been able to work it out either so I just left it the way it was.

As for the care part, think of it as this revelation had never happend if it had never been thought, I guess is what i'm getting at.

[Cakelord]

I like the essence of confusion with the "here" and "there" conundrum. It makes me think about how the astronaut would have time to think about existential problems in isolation, with nothing to focus on but his own thoughts.