Been looking at a lot of porn lately.

[John Travolta]

Yep. Any questions? Masturbation habits? Ideas? Share stories if you'd like.

[John Travolta]

I have a few items of clothing under my bed that I ejaculate in.

[Putzmeister]

Just thinking about it, I haven't actually watched porn in quite a while, I know what I'm doing tonight. And define what a 'masturbation habit' is. Masturbation is.. Masturbation unless of course you use peanut butter or something? Although I do find it hard to do it with my eyes open.

[Tweek]

Do you ever taste your jizz?

[Putzmeister]

I have a few items of clothing under my bed that I ejaculate in.

I have a box of tissues next to my bed, I always feel bad whenever I ask for a new box. It's like my mum looks into my soul.

[Laurence]

May I have said items of clothing?

[John Travolta]

I don't taste my jizz, but I assume it's salty.

I don't do the tissue thing either. There's always little pieces of the tissue that stick to the head of my penis after I ejaculate. Not for me.

[Laurence]

Sounds like you have pretty poor quality tissues, bro. It's all about the 3-ply.

[Tweek]

Do you milk your prostate?

[Tyler_Legrand]

I find this thread deplorable, sir.

[Niki]

I watch porn sometimes its pretty cool

[opn4bzns]

Sounds like you have pretty poor quality tissues, bro. It's all about the 3-ply.

Nothing less than 4-ply aloe vera is good enough.

[John Travolta]

Do you girls masturbate often.

[Niki]

Yeah. definitely yeah. most girls will be like no but yeah.

[CheesePlease]

Do you girls masturbate often.

Only 12 times a day. Not very often.

[Laurence]

Nothing less than 4-ply aloe vera is good enough.

That sounds like an inimitable luxury. Like wiping the head of your penis with the soft skin of a newborn child.

[DubiousCow]

I just get it all over my hand and then wash it off. I also pee right after that so I just get all of it out before it gets on my boxers.

[Iceshade]

I want to know David Carradine's opinion on the matter.

[Putzmeister]

I just get it all over my hand and then wash it off. I also pee right after that so I just get all of it out before it gets on my boxers.

I do the exact same thing, although mine is more of in the belly button. Oh I also find it difficult to do it not lying down.

[Smokeyy90]

Porn is part of my daily routine. Normally just before bed. I normally end on a good wank. And I use old socks! Works Great! :smug:

[Casalen]

I've read that sneezing and using the sneeze material as lubricant is good. Does anyone do that and can you offer your review of the process?

And, going off what Laurence said, what about the use of newborns during these activities?

[Smokeyy90]

I've read that sneezing and using the sneeze material as lubricant is good. Does anyone do that and can you offer your review of the process?

I for one dont for either one. But it does sound theoretically sound.

[Tyler_Legrand]

That's how AIDs started.

[Putzmeister]

That's how AIDs started.

What kind of person gets a monkey to sneeze on it before going for a fap?

[El Zilcho]

Oh, hey. Look! Another porn thread!

[Astronaut]

Quality thread :gj: Worth a response.

I cant imagine much worse than sharing your internet masturbatory habits... over the internet.

[El Zilcho]

Sometimes I like to stick my finger in my butt but if I'm really feeling squirrly then I'll put my finger in someone else's butt :3

[Jimmy Bob Ramsbottom IV]

I used to do it as regularly as I brush my teeth but I exhausted my resources too quickly so now I have to wait for the internet to make new material.

[OoooF4LiFe]

Sometimes I stick my dick in my mothers shoes, because she has smaller feet than me and it fits better.

[Astronaut]

Sometimes I type stupid shit in a thread that should never have seen the light of day, just to get my post count higher.

[Acciaccatura]

Do you girls masturbate often.

Not with porn, but yes. Any girl that tells you she doesn't is lying.

[Putzmeister]

Sometimes I type stupid shit in a thread that should never have seen the light of day, just to get my post count higher.

I think someone is just in the need of a good fap.

[Allen]

This won't last. I had a well structured thread on pornography and it got shit-canned, because somewhere along the lines we decided that this site is for 12 year olds.

[Niki]

Not with porn

Bullshit

[Astronaut]

this site is for 12 year olds.
Obviously.

And a public thread about porn is even more so redundant and obvious to spiral down the shitter. Were you expecting a meeting of minds?

[Putzmeister]

Obviously.

And a public thread about porn is even more so redundant and obvious to spiral down the shitter. Were you expecting a meeting of minds?

Really? I mean really? This thread was intended in all good faith, and it's absolute asshats like you, that seem to have a pole inserted in their sphincter, for no good reason attempt to derail the thread because of some childish egotistical view.

In closing, if you don't like it, don't post.

[Acciaccatura]

Bullshit

Haha, I meant I don't use porn. I'm sure nearly everyone else does. I just never find much porn I like.

[Cakelord]

There's way to much women getting hit with cocks in porn nowadays. First, the guy shoots jizz all over her face to enforce his dominance, and then he goes clubbing her with his dong. In fact, it seems it's getting more and more violent and primitive as time goes on.

[Astronaut]

Really? I mean really? This thread was intended in all good faith, and it's absolute asshats like you, that seem to have a pole inserted in their sphincter, for no good reason attempt to derail the thread because of some childish egotistical view.

In closing, if you don't like it, don't post.

Actually if you read his post a lil closer, as I stated its obvious why a thread about porn on the internet would degenerate and eventually would get flushed. I find it ironic that a cupcake like you would say I have a stick up my ass while attempting to get on someones case about a post, "Hypocrisy thy name is.... (you're probably to slow to finish it so I will for you.) you"

And again you're probably a lil to slow to notice, but my post was full or sarcasm and could give a shit less.

[Putzmeister]

And again you're probably a lil to slow to notice, but my post was full or sarcasm and could give a shit less.

Then why even bother posting in the first place? sorry, post twice complaining about the quality of the thread.

[Pencil]

Actually if you read his post a lil closer, as I stated its obvious why a thread about porn on the internet would degenerate and eventually would get flushed. I find it ironic that a cupcake like you would say I have a stick up my ass while attempting to get on someones case about a post, "Hypocrisy thy name is.... (you're probably to slow to finish it so I will for you.) you"

And again you're probably a lil to slow to notice, but my post was full or sarcasm and could give a shit less.

Could you just shut the fuck up?
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but you're the only one shitting up the thread.

[Astronaut]

Then why even bother posting in the first place? sorry, post twice complaining about the quality of the thread.

Because unlike most people with no gall I express myself when I don't like something. Sorry, post twice about how you don't like my post.

And continually anybody who makes a post to bitch about my not liking this thread and posting so, arent you doing the same god damn thing by telling me not to do it or not to post? Fuck you are retarded.

[Cakelord]

Didn't everyone link to websites in the old porn thread? Naturally, a thread with links to adult material would be unsuitable for kiddies.

[P0K3M0N_MA5T3R]

Ever try to suck your own bell? It hurts and malforms your spine trying but when you do it, it's so worth it.

[Cakelord]

Practice makes perfect.

[Assassin]

How big is your penis, JT?

[Astronaut]

He puts Ron Jeremy to shame.

[Cakelord]

I'm not going to describe my dick over the internet to someone I don't know. Unless it's in spame.

[Casalen]

But would you post pictures? It's not nearly as personal as describing it.

Also, was there ever a poll with enough respondents to figure out the age ranges of forum users?

[Cakelord]

I don't think we'd even get honest answers from everyone if we did that, anyway. Even so, this site has comics about menstruation and rape, so that's not exactly fine for children either.

And I wouldn't post pictures of the little fellow on here, beacuse someone might track down my friends and family, and assault them with a torrent of my dicks.

[Astronaut]

Dicks plural? :pop:

[Ureshii]

I use an old Canteen bandana as a cum-rag. It sits in my computer desk drawer.

[Cyan]

I usually just do it in the shower.

[Cakelord]

Wouldn't it get chocked up with splooge after a while and become unusable, or go petrified or whatever?

The bandana, I mean, not the shower.

[opn4bzns]

I usually just do it in the shower.

Are you a long showerer or a quick wanker?

[Cyan]

Long showerer, though I can be both if I want to.

[shawnshank]

I never masturbate in the shower because I know it runs up the water bill, it's much more environmentally friendly to do it at my desk. It only takes me about 5 minutes to shower.

Plus jizz can clog up the drain.

[hmn47]

Sometimes I stick my dick in my mothers shoes, because she has smaller feet than me and it fits better.

I didn't know you're mom had size 2 feet.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Masturbate BEFORE turning the water on you idiot.

[BlackHood]

Masturbate BEFORE turning the water on you idiot.

Or just aim upwards and negate the use of water completely!

[opn4bzns]

Masturbate BEFORE turning the water on you idiot.

What's the point in doing it in the shower, then?

[Cakelord]

Easy clean-up? If I was going to do it I'd probably choose somewhere more comfortable, though.

[Astronaut]

Like a girls vagina?

[Tyler_Legrand]

What's the point in doing it in the shower, then?

It's part of the morning ritual, like brushing your teeth

[Tweek]

I used to tell myself I wouldn't wank in the shower ever again but now I've stopped trying to fight it.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Good for you Tweek.

[opn4bzns]

It's part of the morning ritual, like brushing your teeth

Only if you're a dirty morning shower-haver.

[Prawnatron]

Do girls find gay porn as hot as guys find lesbian porn?

[Tyler_Legrand]

Only if you're a dirty morning shower-haver.

I don't know about you but I'd prefer my workmates to have showered after they woke up.

[Annimo]

Why is it so shocking that girls masturbat?

And that with the gay porns, I don't think that every guy likes lesbian porns so it's a matter of taste.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Because girls are saints.

[opn4bzns]

I don't know about you but I'd prefer my workmates to have showered after they woke up.

I wouldn't. Unless you're doing some weird shit in your sleep you don't get sweaty or dirty. In the day time you do.

[Tweek]

At night you sweat and roll around in your dead skin.
Unless you put on deodorant before sleeping and change your sheets every day, I'd prefer morning showers.

[Annimo]

Tyler_Legrand this is a good opinion. ^^

However, girls masturbat. It's a fact, but to make it more pleasant for you.
In the background sings a choir, and flowers are falling from the ceiling and nobody knows where the flowers come from...

However another question.
When someone thinks it's strange, that girls masturbate, musn't it be strange to, that they have sex?

And to the showers.
I take a shower every morning, makes me feel more comfortable and wake me up.

[opn4bzns]

You're only rolling around in your sweat and dead skin because you didn't shower beforehand.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Annimo, sarcasm, if you didn't catch it.

Okay. And showering after waking up is still the maximum cleanliness you can get before going to work. Unless you work in a place where you can shower while you work.

Why would you prefer the workmates to have showered longer ago?

[exetra]

I use an old Canteen bandana as a cum-rag.

Now you're going to get dick cancer.

Oh yeah today my girlfriend and I were arguing about whether or not she masturbates much and she was like "NO WAY" and I asked "so you didn't masturbate last night?" and then she looked at the floor sheepishly and started blushing and then I laughed at her for a bit but then told her it was okay :shobon:

[hmn47]

Wait, so do girls enjoy gay porn as much as Astronuat?

[Annimo]

I catch it. This is why I said this stuff with the flowers.

However the question is serious.

[opn4bzns]

Annimo, sarcasm, if you didn't catch it.

Okay. And showering after waking up is still the maximum cleanliness you can get before going to work. Unless you work in a place where you can shower while you work.

Why would you prefer the workmates to have showered longer ago?

I don't actually care when they showered, but I prefer to go to bed clean and warm and wake up clean and warm. Showers make me sleepy anyway, so it works out.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Question: Do you brush your teeth in the morning or just before you sleep?

[Cyan]

Both.

[opn4bzns]

Both.

[Tyler_Legrand]

Both.

[Astronaut]

Before I sleep, because the thought of bacteria in my mouth while I am unconscious drives me up the wall, and I wont sleep until brushing is complete.