Weeding Out: PERMABAN edition

[Rob]

This is 100% genuine. I am being completely balls out honest here: if you post in this thread you will be permabanned. FOREVER.

Whether you need to kick a forum addiction, or if you suck at posting and are slowly starting to realize it, this is the Weeding Out you've been waiting for.

HAVE FUN!!

[Chrisso]

On a fine morning in late March, a young Alec Baldwin awoke from his slumber. He dreamt of the most beautiful things ones imagination could possibly muster up: Dandelions, Daffodils, Violets, Mistletoes, Mayflowers, Poppies, Sunflowers, Roses, Lilies, Lilacs, Carnations, Azaleas, Magnolias, Goldenrods, Bitterroots, Hawthorns, Sagebrush, Laurels, Rhododendrons, Jessamines, Crown Vetch's, Dogwoods, Yuccas, Tickseeds, Peonies, Hibiscus, Camellias, and Hydrangeas.

Upon his awakening, he noticed something was clearly amiss. It took him a moment to realize it, but suddenly it hit him, like a Blue Jay in the jungle, like a frozen sun. It hit him hard enough to grab him by the brain and throw him a hundred yards across a football field. Alec Baldwin had forgotten to brush his teeth! He quickly threw his blankets onto his dog, Stevie Ray Vaughan, awakening it from it's own beautiful slumber whose dreams consisted of the unrivaled beauty of Hydrogen, Arsenic, Boron, Potassium, Neon, Helium, Oxygen, Sulfur, Gold, Carbon, Silver, Aluminum, Nickel, Lead, Plutonium, Lithium, Titanium, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Iodine, Manganese, Argon, Sodium, Xenon, Zinc, Silicon, Mercury, Iridium, and Molybdenum.

As Alec dashed into the nearest bathroom and shut the door, Stevie Ray Vaughan became angered. As the sound of the toothbrush against teeth began, Stevie decided to formulate his devious coup of household control while his dominant humanoid companion continued brushing. There was a dirty cup on the bedside table. Stevie paced back and forth, pondering his next move, wrestling within the deepest and darkest caverns of his mind to figure out the key to the one-move checkmate of a lifetime... After all, this was his chance, and he was only a fucking dog. As he looked down toward his paw, he noticed something rather strange. He had never seen this on his paw before, but it was too small. He had to poke his head closer to see exactly what this thing might've been. As he squinted his eyes, he finally figured out what this previously unnoticed peculiarity was...

It was a flea.

"One minute's up," Stevie thought as he continued pacing, the sound of teeth being scrubbed continued to make it's way from the other side of the bathroom door. He knew that the official recommended amount of time to brush your teeth, as suggested by certified dentists, lies at approximately two minutes. He continued pacing back and forth when suddenly it hit him! He discovered how to trigger the catalyst that would shift all household control to him! He had just solved all of his problems. "No more dog food!" he thought excitedly, "No more telling him I have to poop! No more collar around my neck! No more leashes! No more drinking from the toilet full of sperm and shit! No more newspaper punishment! No more half-eaten sandwiches! No more onions and chocolate! No more dogsledding practice in the summer! No more watching him watch television! No more--"

Alec opened the door and noticed Stevie standing there, looking back up at him.

"Oh, sorry, buddy!" Alec said, "You must be thirsty, I'll go put the seat back up!" As he made his way back to the toilet and lifted the seat, Alec Baldwin promptly pulled his gun out from inside the bowl full of sperm and shit and shot Stevie Ray Vaughan in the face. He slowly walked back towards the corpse and placed his left foot on the head of the canine.

"Never fuck with Alec Baldwin."

USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST. (http://forums.explosm.net/eventlog.php)
Reason: Weeding out. So long buddy :(

[BassBreaker]

Heed my words 'Splosm! This thread will fall!
They may take out accounts, but they will never take...OUR FREEDOM!
http://www.channel4.com/film/media/film/2l/B/braveheart_xxl_01.jpg

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Reason: Weeding out!!

[LaPhBu]

:palm:

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Reason: Weeding out!!

[LaPhBu]

:face:

[LaPhBu]

:fp:

[LaPhBu]

fuck it :fap:

[Ralphhie]

with my last words i curse matt

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Reason: Get out of town!

[Ralphhie]

WAIT NO gimme a couple weeks to think of better last words

[SteveYoungblood1122]

hey this is my 1st time posting but u guys make funny comics and i like this site. my firends all like it 2. But I can't make my own thread to introduce myself? so i'm gonna just post here.

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Reason: Move it or lose it!

[Mr Anorexia]

On a fine morning in late March, a young Alec Baldwin awoke from his slumber. He dreamt of the most beautiful things ones imagination could possibly muster up: Dandelions, Daffodils, Violets, Mistletoes, Mayflowers, Poppies, Sunflowers, Roses, Lilies, Lilacs, Carnations, Azaleas, Magnolias, Goldenrods, Bitterroots, Hawthorns, Sagebrush, Laurels, Rhododendrons, Jessamines, Crown Vetch's, Dogwoods, Yuccas, Tickseeds, Peonies, Hibiscus, Camellias, and Hydrangeas.

Upon his awakening, he noticed something was clearly amiss. It took him a moment to realize it, but suddenly it hit him, like a Blue Jay in the jungle, like a frozen sun. It hit him hard enough to grab him by the brain and throw him a hundred yards across a football field. Alec Baldwin had forgotten to brush his teeth! He quickly threw his blankets onto his dog, Stevie Ray Vaughan, awakening it from it's own beautiful slumber whose dreams consisted of the unrivaled beauty of Hydrogen, Arsenic, Boron, Potassium, Neon, Helium, Oxygen, Sulfur, Gold, Carbon, Silver, Aluminum, Nickel, Lead, Plutonium, Lithium, Titanium, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Iodine, Manganese, Argon, Sodium, Xenon, Zinc, Silicon, Mercury, Iridium, and Molybdenum.

As Alec dashed into the nearest bathroom and shut the door, Stevie Ray Vaughan became angered. As the sound of the toothbrush against teeth began, Stevie decided to formulate his devious coup of household control while his dominant humanoid companion continued brushing. There was a dirty cup on the bedside table. Stevie paced back and forth, pondering his next move, wrestling within the deepest and darkest caverns of his mind to figure out the key to the one-move checkmate of a lifetime... After all, this was his chance, and he was only a fucking dog. As he looked down toward his paw, he noticed something rather strange. He had never seen this on his paw before, but it was too small. He had to poke his head closer to see exactly what this thing might've been. As he squinted his eyes, he finally figured out what this previously unnoticed peculiarity was...

It was a flea.

"One minute's up," Stevie thought as he continued pacing, the sound of teeth being scrubbed continued to make it's way from the other side of the bathroom door. He knew that the official recommended amount of time to brush your teeth, as suggested by certified dentists, lies at approximately two minutes. He continued pacing back and forth when suddenly it hit him! He discovered how to trigger the catalyst that would shift all household control to him! He had just solved all of his problems. "No more dog food!" he thought excitedly, "No more telling him I have to poop! No more collar around my neck! No more leashes! No more drinking from the toilet full of sperm and shit! No more newspaper punishment! No more half-eaten sandwiches! No more onions and chocolate! No more dogsledding practice in the summer! No more watching him watch television! No more--"

Alec opened the door and noticed Stevie standing there, looking back up at him.

"Oh, sorry, buddy!" Alec said, "You must be thirsty, I'll go put the seat back up!" As he made his way back to the toilet and lifted the seat, Alec Baldwin promptly pulled his gun out from inside the bowl full of sperm and shit and shot Stevie Ray Vaughan in the face. He slowly walked back towards the corpse and placed his left foot on the head of the canine.

"Never fuck with Alec Baldwin."

USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST. (http://forums.explosm.net/eventlog.php)
Reason: Weeding out. So long buddy :(
i can't live with myself after being the cause of this

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Reason: Goodbye Sweet Prince

[Raymus]

Cyanide and Happiness began as a small series of comics drawn by Kris Wilson at the age of 16. One day while ill at his home suffering from Streptococcal throat infection, Kris entertained himself by drawing comics by hand, and would later move on to drawing them on his computer. Kris created his own website called Comicazi, that allowed him to showcase his comics to others. Kris shared his comics with the forum of Sticksuicide.com. The webmasters of Sticksuicide (Matt Melvin, Rob DenBleyker and Dave McElfatrick) eventually gave up on StickSuicide and started Explosm.net, a new site less focused on Flash Stick Death animation and more on art in general. They saw potential in Kris' comics, so they used their new site to host his work. Explosm is currently run by Matt, Rob, Dave, Kris and forum administrator Lee Mulvey (known under his forum sign-in name as "Kwanza"). The entire Explosm team excluding Lee now make comics on a regular basis. Most are based on Kris' style, although there are occasional departures from that form. The current name "Cyanide and Happiness" comes from a strip in which one character is selling cotton candy made of cyanide and happyness [sic]. The other character replies: "Happyness!?!? Hot damn! I'll take 4"

In the past, Explosm has featured Guest Weeks, where readers submit entries to the administrators and the best are featured as daily comics over the course of the week. One notable guest artist is AltF4, animator of the flash animation Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

In a news post on the site on October 14, 2007 Rob announced that there was a project about to go underway to translate every comic in the archive into various languages. Based on the response, in a subsequent post Rob said that the response had been phenomenal with 1300 replies offering to translate into over 20 different languages.

During the first comic podcast of April 20, 2009 Rob announced that he'd purchased a domain and the Explosm team will start a website dedicated solely to the little Flash shorts. He mentioned that more information would be coming within a few weeks.

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Reason: Be with God.

[Raymus]

The style of Cyanide and Happiness is best described as dark, cynical, often offensive, and exceedingly irreverent. Frequent topics of humor include disabilities, rape, cancer, murder, suicide, necrophilia, pedophilia,sexual deviancy, sexually transmitted diseases, self-mutilation, nihilism, and violence. The comic does not always have a definite punchline in each strip, or may have several panels of "awkward silence" after (or instead of) the punchline, with characters simply staring at each other. These awkward pauses coupled with the stick figure artwork mirror the surrealist humor of stick figure animator and comic artist Don Hertzfeldt.

There are few recurring characters and virtually no characterization, with characters often acting irrationally or nonsensically.

The few recurring characters include peculiarly-named superheroes such as:

* Seizure Man - he apparently suffers from epilepsy, and was made into a man after being raped.
* Ass Rape Man - who was seen approaching a boy and grinning.
* SuperJerk - an extremely rude hero who charges for his acts of kindness.
* Captain Obvious - who points out obvious facts.
* LOL-FAG Man - a parody of Internet slang who insults everyone by saying "LOL FAG", which in turn causes various chaotic acts to occur.
* Punchline Spoiler Man - a hero who appears early in the comic and ruins its joke.
* Rubber Arm Man - a hero with no apparent powers besides two limp, rubbery arms.
* Firework Man - who can make himself explode like a firework, harming only himself
* Education Man - who teaches people about random subjects instead of helping them.
* Prostate Man - who suffers from an enlarged prostate.

Other recurring characters include:

* Trelaf the Wise - a supposed sage who offers pointless advice.
* Obese Maurice - a chubby man that usually adds an odd twist to a food-related joke.
* The Purple-Shirted Eye-Stabber - a villain who occasionally disguises himself to stab out the eyes of any who approach him. He was retired on June 20th, 2008. His last comic consisted of him stabbing invading one-eyed aliens.

[Raymus]

Fuck Rob, hurry up.

[Raymus]

Your a cool dude.

[Shagg]

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/19/193328/19_2008/80997462.preview.jpg

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Reason: Fare thee well.

[Astronaut]

this thread is worse than still birth

worse than a siamese twins grief after sole surviving a surgery

worse than a chocolate factory meltdown

worse than a dubiouscow post

worse than if the twin towers fell on the ships in pearl harbor

worse than a george bush rere-election

worse than if this thread was about reading this thread

worse than gigli

worse than having your liver picked out by a vulture and having it regenerate daily, while holding the world

only to be picked the fuck out again by this thread

this thread is worse than the time i had food poisoning

i would rather slit my throat on shards of my fist smashed monitor than read this god forsaken barren uterus of a thread again

worse than that smell of my morning breath against tweeks mothers overnight poon

worse than the fat shit at a concert you're smashed against who feels like he's been doused in spit

i would rather sit on a needle full of aids in a movie theater seat than reread this cancer inducing dribble

i have never been stabbed in the eye with a salt/lemon/acid covered knife but i am certain that after reading this thread it wouldn't be so bad

hellen keller would have known to fucking hate this thread and managed to express it as thoroughly as i have

i wish i had something this fucking horrendous in gym class to limp my dick when i was hard

any minute now god will make an example of this thread as he did with babylon being that its filled with faggotry sodomy and ass pillaging

i'd rather go into a bathroom and look in the mirror with no lights on, and say bloody mary three times and have the bitch show up than read this thread again

i fucking hope stem cell research can regenerate the fucking braincells i lost reading this monumental example of mans lack of intelligence

this thread proves bull shit fucking black holes

bologna has a first name and its o s c a r this thread has an acronym its w n r a - would not read again

abandon hope all yee who enter this shithole

Only a post apocalyptic mutant twat who rose atop the other mutant faggots by proving his ability to be gay through eating mutiple mutant dicks would make this thread.

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Reason: Get outta heaah

[junglebunny]

butts

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Reason: Begone!

[junglebunny]

hey rob can i be spame janitor for all of spame?

[AssBandit]

Have you guys ever had to piss so bad you could taste it?

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Reason: Get up on outta here.

[junglebunny]

also id like to be unbooted from the comment dump

[AssBandit]

Fuck now i wont have my 2007 account anymore. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW!?

[Dodger]

lol rob's fat

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Reason: Weeding out

[MagnussonTheDestroyer]

FAGGOTS SHIT TITS

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Reason: Weeding out

[GSOM]

I can't live without Mr. A's loving embrace.

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Reason: Weeding out

[GSOM]

ALSO ATTACK!

[MagnussonTheDestroyer]

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff50/dolop_ghani/shit.jpg

[Dodger]

BTW ROB


YOU'RE THE CUNTBAG

:smug:

[Hell_Tiger]

that's a very healthy turd right there

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Reason: Weeding out

[Dodger]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2008/05/16/svICELAND_wideweb__470x383,0.jpg

[GSOM]

I'D LIKE TO EAT THAT SHIT TBH

[Hell_Tiger]

ALSO I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT ROB SHOULD BE PERMAD FOR POSTING IN THIS THREAD

[Dodger]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Penis_Anatomy.gif

[Hell_Tiger]

hey since we're getting permad what's stopping us from making another jailbait thread?

[GSOM]

nothing

[GSOM]

do it

[GSOM]

we have a 5-15 minute window lets post liek weve never posted before

[Niki]

spongy body

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Reason: Finally got you! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

[Dodger]

omg yes

[Dodger]

sweet lord, yes fuck yes.

[Hell_Tiger]

http://jailbaitgallery.com/resized/JBG31wxskjr58.jpg

[GSOM]

She looks like a young Denise Richards.

[Dodger]

http://jailbaitgallery.com/resized/JBG9pmqfwkzg2.jpg

[Hell_Tiger]

http://jailbaitgallery.com/resized/JBG62hgmxrj1s.jpg

[Jewy]

Ok, thread over. Operation Ban Niki is a success!

http://www.samefacts.com/archives/20060627-bush%2520mission%2520accomplished.jpg

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Reason: Weeding out

[Rob]

That was bizarre but ok.

[Rob]

Just so there are no hard feelings, it's totally cool if anybody wants to make a new account. We won't come after you (probably)

[BassBreaker2]

http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/archives/king%20leonidas%20pretty%20pissed.jpgThis is EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSMMMMMM!

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Reason: Is this some sort of reference to a movie

[Intestiny Destiny]

You couldn't do it even if you wanted to.

[Intestiny Destiny]

Ban me that is.

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Reason: This hurts me more than it hurts you.

[EmoMelon]

Hai guiz, I'm back, just posting in a random FUUUU-

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Reason: Weeding out

[Cakelord]

http://www.freewebs.com/peterfishkeeper/flowerhorn1.jpg

A creature truly too beautiful for this world.

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Reason: Weeding out

[GODZILLASTRIKESONCEMORE]

What, a stupid fucking fish?

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Reason: Weeding out

[Cakelord]

FUCK YOU, SHE'S SIMPLY GORGEOUS!

[GODZILLASTRIKESONCEMORE]

Red eyes. I'd gut that fucker and make a fillet out of it and then I wouldn't even eat it. I'd feed it to my shitty, fat ass dog.

Look at this bitch.
http://b7.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00633/79/01/633061097_l.jpg

[Besh]

I don't think you guys like me here, so I'll just lurk from now on, fare thee well explosm. 'Twas nice knowing you.

ESQUIRE AWWAAAY

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Reason: Weeding out

[Besh]

Edit: Shit

[Cakelord]

Look at this bitch.

I wouldn't fuck that with your dick!

[Rawwr]

Why isn't Rob being banned for posting again? You just lied to me Rob...or Mr. Ban guy D:

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Reason: Weeding out

[Rawwr]

Oh, Matt your the least funny person I've ever known existed. Ever.

[Rawwr]

BB GUYS

[Rawwr]

<3

[Rawwr]

FUCK THE POLICE

[Cakelord]

Get the fuck of my forum, you cum guzzling cock goblin.

[woodentoast]

Just so there are no hard feelings, it's totally cool if anybody wants to make a new account. We won't come after you (probably)

totes doing this for the name change

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Reason: Weeding out

[Aesthesis]

http://insanefrog.com/images/puppy-eyes-nov-05.gif
You wouldn't... would you?

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Reason: EUTHANIZED

[risbolla]

whos rob

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Reason: GTFO

[risbolla]

i'll weed you out bitch

[CKY_BamFan]

Kitty! http://www.funnyjunksite.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/funny_cat_pictures_041.jpg

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[hoopymo]

YOU STUPID NIGGERS

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[Prawnatron]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/a/ac/Moreselfpwnagepls.gif

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[Petey2112]

hey me too

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[Petey2112]

Im waitiiiiiiing

[risboIIa]

rob is fat

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[risboIIa]

:wink:

[Rob]

Alright show's over.