[adamjackson]

my band.

i know, the recording is a wee bit rough around the edges, but nothing too bad.

critiques?


Myspace

[Vortex]

Oh yay, another Indie band. Just what the world needs!

Seriously though, now. I only listened to the first song. It wasn't terrible, but it was very bland, and I could hardly make out the vocals. Extremely quiet in comparison to the music.

All in all, not horrible, but nothing special, either. 5/10!

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Vortex

Oh yay, another Indie band. Just what the world needs!

Seriously though, now. I only listened to the first song. It wasn't terrible, but it was very bland, and I could hardly make out the vocals. Extremely quiet in comparison to the music.

All in all, not horrible, but nothing special, either. 5/10!

yeah, i know the vox are too quiet, another effect of recording on a macbook.

but i wouldnt say they were indistinguishable.

[Jimothy]

I listened to Dawn Upon Dusk.

This is VERY sloppy... You guys need to make sure your recordings are EXTREMELY tight. The timing especially is sloppy. Do you record to a click track? Because they're really helpful.

The vocalist is crap. He could be better, with practice, but at the moment he sounds shit.

The music is repetitive and uninteresting, as well. Four chords over and over again is alright for punk bands, but this sorta shit needs a breakdown or an accoustic solo or something to break the monotony.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jimothy

I listened to Dawn Upon Dusk.

This is VERY sloppy... You guys need to make sure your recordings are EXTREMELY tight. The timing especially is sloppy. Do you record to a click track? Because they're really helpful.

The vocalist is crap. He could be better, with practice, but at the moment he sounds shit.

The music is repetitive and uninteresting, as well. Four chords over and over again is alright for punk bands, but this sorta shit needs a breakdown or an accoustic solo or something to break the monotony.

K, well thanks. we'll work on that.

about the sloppy recording, we know. we havent been together that long, and when that was recorded we had practiced for a couple weeks.

maybe listen to Sweet Irony. not my favorite, but other people seem to like it.

[danthelegend]

Firstly, you need to sort out a decent way of recording your music.

Secondly, the vocals aren't great. They could be improved massively.

The instruments are fairly good but still, they could do with improvement.

But, in all honesty, if you sort out the quality of the recording then you might see a massive difference in the outcome of the music.

Oh yeah, I like how you quoted Guitar Hero in the band members section.

[Jimothy]

Okay, I listened to Sweet Irony.

Timing's still way off. You guys are always slightly out of time. You need to either play to a click track to keep time, or play to each other. Several weeks practice should be MORE than enough time to get a few songs tight.

The fact that everything comes through the left earphone except the vocal double-tracking is really annoying.

The music's a little better, but the bad timing really fucks it up. I like the verse riff. However, I think I just heard someone plug a guitar into their amp. That shouldn't be in your final recording!

Quick question: What do you use to record? Like, what equipment, and what software?

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jimothy

Okay, I listened to Sweet Irony.

Timing's still way off. You guys are always slightly out of time. You need to either play to a click track to keep time, or play to each other. Several weeks practice should be MORE than enough time to get a few songs tight.

The fact that everything comes through the left earphone except the vocal double-tracking is really annoying.

The music's a little better, but the bad timing really fucks it up. I like the verse riff. However, I think I just heard someone plug a guitar into their amp. That shouldn't be in your final recording!

Quick question: What do you use to record? Like, what equipment, and what software?

nope, you wouldnt have heard that, we dont use amps to record.

we use garageband.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by danthelegend

Firstly, you need to sort out a decent way of recording your music.

Secondly, the vocals aren't great. They could be improved massively.

The instruments are fairly good but still, they could do with improvement.

But, in all honesty, if you sort out the quality of the recording then you might see a massive difference in the outcome of the music.

Oh yeah, I like how you quoted Guitar Hero in the band members section.

what about the vox needs to be improved?

haha yes we love guitar hero

[Random_Hero]

Yeah, only thing I really have to say is reeeealllly work on your timing, it makes it start to seem like you don't really care that much about what you're doing, but other than that, pretty good.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jimothy

Okay, I listened to Sweet Irony.
Several weeks practice should be MORE than enough time to get a few songs tight.

yeah, well we had been practicing for a couple weeks, like together.

songs we recorded day of.

not very smart? maybe.

[Commodity]

I listened to Dawn Upon Dusk. The vocalist sounds like his nose is stuffed up and his tongue is stuck to the bottom of his mouth. The song its self was a tad predictable, too. I suggest making the bass more pronounced.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Commodity

I listened to Dawn Upon Dusk. The vocalist sounds like his nose is stuffed up and his tongue is stuck to the bottom of his mouth. The song its self was a tad predictable, too. I suggest making the bass more pronounced.

it would be hard to make the bass more pronounced considering there is none.

man im getting slammed in the vocals department. most people have said that's the best part about our songs.

[danthelegend]

Originally Posted by adamjackson

it would be hard to make the bass more pronounced considering there is none.

man im getting slammed in the vocals department. most people have said that's the best part about our songs.

They're lying.

The vocals sound too quakey. I get the impression that the person singing is trying to make himself sound more like bands he himself is a fan of. He needs to pick up his own style that suits him other than a style that someone else.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by danthelegend

They're lying.

The vocals sound too quakey. I get the impression that the person singing is trying to make himself sound more like bands he himself is a fan of. He needs to pick up his own style that suits him other than a style that someone else.

harsh

[danthelegend]

Originally Posted by adamjackson

harsh

I didn't mean to offend. It's just critique. Besides, its just little things like that you need to work on. If nobody tells you whats not so good about your music, you wont know you what you need to work on and you won't improve.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by danthelegend

I didn't mean to offend. It's just critique. Besides, its just little things like that you need to work on. If nobody tells you whats not so good about your music, you wont know you what you need to work on and you won't improve.

true.

its hard for me to know exactly what to improve upon, so its appreciated.

[Jamez5000]

If Sweet Irony is the song most poeple like, then that should be the first song played on the myspace player, not the band's preference. Also, I never saw it mentioned, what is your position in the band anyway?

My Critique:
Vocals, yeah everyone pretty much has this nailed as it is important for a successful band. There is no range in his voice (obviously shown in Nightmare and The Denial Twist co..) sounds bland.

Guitarist: Overpowering vocals, trying to use to many special effects to tweak the sound to more of a flang effect, and etc. There also seems to be a delay in between playing in Sweet Irony Bovirony (Bovirony?...)

Other: Get a drummer (even though it says you have one, I could not hear any), it wont turn your music heavy, but add a beat people can really get into, without that they are just stationary thinking, "when is it going to pick up?" Also I find your songs take way to long to actually start, the "keys/funky shit" is simple as well, uniqueness is key to getting your own sense of style.

All in all, you all need practice individually before collaborating because there seems to be faults on everyone's end. Falling back on the fact you've only practiced a few weeks shouldn't be the reason behind alot of things. If you're going to record a song for people to hear make sure you've got everything down otherwise you'll just give a bad first impression and nobody will bother giving you a second chance.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jamez5000

If Sweet Irony is the song most poeple like, then that should be the first song played on the myspace player, not the band's preference. Also, I never saw it mentioned, what is your position in the band anyway?

My Critique:
Vocals, yeah everyone pretty much has this nailed as it is important for a successful band. There is no range in his voice (obviously shown in Nightmare and The Denial Twist co..) sounds bland.

Guitarist: Overpowering vocals, trying to use to many special effects to tweak the sound to more of a flang effect, and etc. There also seems to be a delay in between playing in Sweet Irony Bovirony (Bovirony?...)

Other: Get a drummer (even though it says you have one, I could not hear any), it wont turn your music heavy, but add a beat people can really get into, without that they are just stationary thinking, "when is it going to pick up?" Also I find your songs take way to long to actually start, the "keys/funky shit" is simple as well, uniqueness is key to getting your own sense of style.

All in all, you all need practice individually before collaborating because there seems to be faults on everyone's end. Falling back on the fact you've only practiced a few weeks shouldn't be the reason behind alot of things. If you're going to record a song for people to hear make sure you've got everything down otherwise you'll just give a bad first impression and nobody will bother giving you a second chance.

i sing.

its not like we are a professional band bro, we havent even had a gig yet, so about first impressions and all that, we just made some music.

and i have more range than is shown in the songs...

[Jimothy]

Originally Posted by adamjackson

i sing.

danthelegend is right, you need to develop your own style. I sing as well, and I used to do the same thing. After a while I noticed the difference between when I was singing naturally and when I was trying to imitate someone else. Singing naturally makes it way easier to stay on key and stuff too.

Also, you sound like you're singing through your nose. Work on singing solely through your mouth.

The high notes are kicking you in the nuts, try to work on them. This is as easy as holding the note as long as you can. When I have a problem hitting a high note, I just try to hit it and hold it for ages. At first you'll sound like crap because you'll slip in and out of it, but eventually you'll be able to hit it well enough. Maybe not forever, but at least long enough to record a track.

Some notes are off as well. If you can, stand next to a piano and sing along to each key. Try to mimic the sound as close as possible. This helps quite a bit.

I hope this helps.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jimothy

danthelegend is right, you need to develop your own style. I sing as well, and I used to do the same thing. After a while I noticed the difference between when I was singing naturally and when I was trying to imitate someone else. Singing naturally makes it way easier to stay on key and stuff too.

Also, you sound like you're singing through your nose. Work on singing solely through your mouth.

The high notes are kicking you in the nuts, try to work on them. This is as easy as holding the note as long as you can. When I have a problem hitting a high note, I just try to hit it and hold it for ages. At first you'll sound like crap because you'll slip in and out of it, but eventually you'll be able to hit it well enough. Maybe not forever, but at least long enough to record a track.

Some notes are off as well. If you can, stand next to a piano and sing along to each key. Try to mimic the sound as close as possible. This helps quite a bit.

I hope this helps.

yess, thank you very much. that is the first real constructive thing.

yeah, the high notes are not what im best at, not to make excuses but i think a majority of that lies in the fact that i am a teenager.

[Jimothy]

It just takes practice, man. I've improved SO MUCH since I started singing (I was pretty shit) and all it's taken is regular practice with my band. I sing all the fucking time, and I always try to sing songs that are challenging, so that I can improve. It might get you a few weird looks when you're singing metal lyrics on the train, but it all helps, man.

Edit: I also started as a teenager, when I was 15. I'm nearly 18 now.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Commodity

The vocalist sounds like his nose is stuffed up and his tongue is stuck to the bottom of his mouth.

that takes talent, man.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jimothy

It just takes practice, man. I've improved SO MUCH since I started singing (I was pretty shit) and all it's taken is regular practice with my band. I sing all the fucking time, and I always try to sing songs that are challenging, so that I can improve. It might get you a few weird looks when you're singing metal lyrics on the train, but it all helps, man.

Edit: I also started as a teenager, when I was 15. I'm nearly 18 now.

Haha, thanks.

yeah, im 16 presently.

[adamjackson]

It's wierd the different opinions you get in different places.

here we are getting slammed, not too harshly, but slammed still the same.

our friends, biased as they may be say we are good, we could be really good.

And on our Garageband.com site (garageband.com/user/hellocentrall ) people are pretty much unanimously saying that with some work, we could be good, the potential is there.

[Jamez5000]

Oh I agree, I mean successfull bands don't just start off amazing, we don't hear alot of their demos recorded on hand-held devices and whatnot. This is just a stepping stone to what could be, obviously with more practice comes your goal. I think you're friends may not be able to give constructive critisism because of your relationship with them like you mentioned and Garageband is pretty much summing what we're saying as well. Since this isn't really a full out music-oriented site, we're more open to a critique whereas at such site it may seem like "you're not good, my band is better" situation. So regardless of everything, listen to critique, improve, practice, bond, and do what you love.

[Chardon07]

I love your style, do you have any shirts. Ha jk you guys suck.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Chardon07

I love your style, do you have any shirts. Ha jk you guys suck.

you're cool and funny!

[danthelegend]

Originally Posted by Chardon07

I love your style, do you have any shirts. Ha jk you guys suck.

I want to be so much like you when I grow up. Please, tell me how you get to be such a badass.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by Jamez5000

Oh I agree, I mean successfull bands don't just start off amazing, we don't hear alot of their demos recorded on hand-held devices and whatnot. This is just a stepping stone to what could be, obviously with more practice comes your goal. I think you're friends may not be able to give constructive critisism because of your relationship with them like you mentioned and Garageband is pretty much summing what we're saying as well. Since this isn't really a full out music-oriented site, we're more open to a critique whereas at such site it may seem like "you're not good, my band is better" situation. So regardless of everything, listen to critique, improve, practice, bond, and do what you love.

agreed.

[DamnDude]

I couldnt bare to listen to the songs when the singing kicks in. Not only is the singing bad, but the riffs are often open up to a great vocal line, but you ruin it, both with the singing, and the bad vocal line.

The playing is kind of sloppy, but seriously, try to be more creative when creating a vocal line.

[Chardon07]

Originally Posted by danthelegend

I want to be so much like you when I grow up. Please, tell me how you get to be such a badass.

Well, first, you get a computer, connect it to the internet, see somthing gay and tell him that the person who made it sucks and are going no where in life

[DamnDude]

Chardon, you suck and youre not going anywhere in life.

Im pretty good at this.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by DamnDude

Chardon, you suck and youre not going anywhere in life.

Im pretty good at this.

za za za za zing.

[Mc'Lovin]

Add a little more creativity to the main bridges, and I think the singer needs to take vocal lessons, it would definetly benefit himself, and the band greatly.

[I_Smell]

I think your music needs to make more of an impact. Everything's so soft and generic and forgettable. Some of the lyrical shit was well thought out. It doesn't appeal to me atall like, I was thinking "What is this Highschool Musical shite?". Like Denial Twist whatever it's called: I can appreciate it, but where's the music? The instruments are pretty much inexistant. I spent the two an a half minutes waiting for it to get going, but it never did.

So Sweet Irony Bovirony.. I can't work out the title, but whatever. The guitar didn't match the vocals. This voice was all sad and whiny, but the music was the complete opposite. It's like two different song stuck together badly. So you should organise and work together like to make sure everything just works hormoniously well. You can have the best ice cream ever and the greatest meatballs in Sweden, but they sound shit when you put them together. I think you can learn something from that.

Ok I'm still listening to these songs. Who is the vocals guy? Did someone die in his family recently? Right, for your next song, you should focus on two things:
Write the lyrics with the music and make sure they gel together all perfect like.
Try to MAKE SOME NOISE. I want you to rock my socks off, because right now they are falling asleep.

EDIT-

Originally Posted by Spencah!

Where da drums at?

This guy knows his shit.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by I_smell

I think your music needs to make more of an impact. Everything's so soft and generic and forgettable. Some of the lyrical shit was well thought out. It doesn't appeal to me atall like, I was thinking "What is this Highschool Musical shite?". Like Denial Twist whatever it's called: I can appreciate it, but where's the music? The instruments are pretty much inexistant. I spent the two an a half minutes waiting for it to get going, but it never did.

So Sweet Irony Bovirony.. I can't work out the title, but whatever. The guitar didn't match the vocals. This voice was all sad and whiny, but the music was the complete opposite. It's like two different song stuck together badly. So you should organise and work together like to make sure everything just works hormoniously well. You can have the best ice cream ever and the greatest meatballs in Sweden, but they sound shit when you put them together. I think you can learn something from that.

Ok I'm still listening to these songs. Who is the vocals guy? Did someone die in his family recently? Right, for your next song, you should focus on two things:
Write the lyrics with the music and make sure they gel together all perfect like.
Try to MAKE SOME NOISE. I want you to rock my socks off, because right now they are falling asleep.

EDIT-

This guy knows his shit.

Denial twist is a cover.

we are working on getting drums going.

and we are working on writing faster more upbeat songs.

its alot harder than writing slow songs.

thanks.

[SWiTCH]

The songwriting is pretty good. But yeah a lot of people are off rhythm.
The vocals aren't that bad, but I agree with what someone said earlier. It sounds like you're trying to sing like someone else. imo, just sing with passion and with your natural voice and the accent and "style" will come naturally.

[adamjackson]

Originally Posted by SWiTCH

The songwriting is pretty good. But yeah a lot of people are off rhythm.
The vocals aren't that bad, but I agree with what someone said earlier. It sounds like you're trying to sing like someone else. imo, just sing with passion and with your natural voice and the accent and "style" will come naturally.

Thanks, yeah, im still working on developing my own style. its hard. i think when i get some melody that i am really into it will come.